saturnsfall Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Can someone tell me I'm doing the right thing by going NC? It's so hard to not call or see him. I feel so far from him, miss him and forgotten. I just need some inspiring support.
nature Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Depends what happened. How long were you together, who broke up with who, and why? And have you had any contact since breakup?
Ronni_W Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Can someone tell me I'm doing the right thing by going NC? If you guys broke-up, then YES, you are doing the right thing!!! It is tough, but you are doing it...and that speaks to your resolve and inner strength. The longer you stay NC, the more those "him-focused" feelings will become easier to withstand, until they completely disappear. Hugs and good luck.
sinkerswim Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I would like to say you are... but if you REALLY feel you gotta contact him...write a letter..and send it. I dont know..maybe I am telling you the wrong thing. But if you write a letter and he knows how you feel...it will make you feel better knowing that he knows. I know when I move back to PA...I cant go NC... My cat is staying here for awhile..before I can come get him again. Of course I trust him..as I brought my cat to live here even before I moved out here to Illinois. He adores my cat..he is his daddy. This is just the best thing for him right now. Plus..a lot of people that know us...know that I plan on doing this.. JUST IN CASE I may have a problem getting him back. But I really do not anticipate that...he is being very understanding towards the situation. ANYWAY..sorry to ramble on.. If you feel like you MUST contact him..then write a letter. But dont say anything bad. That is my advice.
Frankasy Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Who cares about the details, the important thing is that you two aren't together anymore and no contact is always the best option after break ups. Trying to remain friends always ends with someone getting hurt cause friendship can be turned into love but love can't be turned into friendship. You're in the right track, don't worry.
Peter_pan Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 depends on the person. me i went NC right away thinking she would talk to me, but she didnt. so it ate me up. i finally got what i had to say face to face after ages and i dont want her back and knew i didnt have a choice anyway. after i got what i needed to say off my chest it was a big relief thats for sure
Ronni_W Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 after i got what i needed to say off my chest it was a big relief thats for sure Yes, that makes total sense -- about just "off-loading" (dumping) whatever emotional garbage that is keeping one stuck. I mean, I can understand that it would feel like a relief after doing that. Saturn, if that is what it's about for you, then I guess give it a shot and hope for Peter_pan's good, relieved outcome. But if it is that your desire for contact is more about getting back together, or "feeling good" to hear his voice or read his texts, or "needing" to connect with him emotionally/physically, then it's unlikely that contact will bring you any long-term relief. It seems that you do know that n/c is the best for you (otherwise you wouldn't have started it, I'm guessing.) And I totally do believe that you do know what is best for you. Stay strong! You CAN do it!!!
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