xjadex Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I feel kinda stupid asking this question because some things point to he could well be still married...but anyway: This is a guy I met online, a year ago. On his profile he listed himself as 'single', has tons of pics on there and even a couple of pics of him with his kids. However, some things concern me, I have questioned him and he says he was married, is now seperated....and swears he's single. But: 1. When he calls me, he's either sat parked up in his car, with a friend, out for a walk, or he's alone in the home. He says he lives with his parents since his divorce. 2. I have two mobile numbers for him, no home phone number. 3. He will call me, anytime of the day, afternoon or night, he calls often....doesn't seem to have a problem there. 4. Sometimes I phone him and no pick up. He will say family were present when I called, hence no pick up... 5. Sometimes when I am on the phone to him, he will say 'Put the phone down, my sister is calling me'. 6. I've met this guy in real life and once only. We are kinda long distance and so I'd mentioned that next time he comes, he could stay overnight. He says he can't stay overnight....he feels uncomfortable staying out. 7. Guy seems unsure of when he can meet me again and says he will try his best to get here, when he can. 8. He mentioned that next time we meet, he will come through the day....says he doesn't like to travel in the dark, the road hypnotizes his eyes...WTF??? He seems to have a problem with seeing me at night....despite the fact that when we first met, it was at night. He stayed four hours, but travelled back well before midnight, even though I'd said he could stay if he wanted. As I said, I have asked him if he is defo single...he swears he is. I've tried doing an online search on him....no results to be found on him. He lives too far away to stalk....and I'm not that well off I can afford a private detective :|
Geishawhelk Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Oh good grief...... OF COURSE HE'S MARRIED!!! IT all adds up, doesn't it? If you know where (which are) he lives, tell him you have business or something comiung up there. You'd love the chance to finally meet him - what can you arrange? and watch him squirm out of that one.....
Adunaphel Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 It indeed sounds like he is either not separated or still living with his W. I like Geishawhelk's suggestion. You could also ask him to prove that he is separated and living on his own - I think it is very legitimate after a year of dating.
Author xjadex Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 How can I ask him to prove he isn't married? By what means could he prove he isn't? The guy isn't just around the corner from me and I can't find out through third parties because I know nobody at all, who knows him... He's some guy I met online as I said and he's long distance. All I know of him, is the area he lives....I have no home address for him. He has mentioned me going down there eventually, but he tells me to wait until he has his flat ready. According to him, he recently got a flat, but it needs furnishing. I think the flat is genuine and because I was going to send him a CD and he gave me the address of the flat to send it....not the home he resides at now.
Geishawhelk Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Then either he is married but separating, and she doesn't realise it, or with someone and separating, but she doesn't realise it. How many more smokescreens does he have to put up before you start choking on the fumes?
Author xjadex Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 Forgot to mention....he has also asked if I would move to his area and a couple of weeks back. I'd said 'yeah' jokingly because I didn't take it seriously and he hasn't mentioned it anymore.... If he is with someone and he's planning to leave her....I don't think it has anything to do with me. Likely wanted out before he met me...and to be honest, don't think he's 'that' serious about me, despite never being off the phone.. He wouldn't be frequenting dating sites still, if he was serious about me....despite saying he's only 'chatting'...lol I've asked him to be honest with me....I've even pretended it wouldn't matter to me if he was, to try and get the truth!! But still....swears he isn't with anyone.
Geishawhelk Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 So what do you expect us to do? You post a load of red flags and ask if we think he's married. from what you posted it sounds like it. Now you keep coming up with a load of tangent explanations and "Oh forgot to mentions" and moving the goalposts. We're not psychic, and we're not the ones who have been talking to him constantly for a year. We've "known" him about half an hour. So what are you asking us for, exactly? What does your gut instinct tell you? Listen to what it tells you. Then go with it. Or not. Your choice.
Author xjadex Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 Well you are right....I am the only one who knows him at end of the day. A lot of info I know points to him being single, but then a lot doesn't add up also. I might end up ditching his a$$....and the guy may have been genuine. I just wanted to see what others thought..
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