techfan Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Guys, Okay so my ex broke up with me less than 2 weeks ago. Before the breakup i got her a xmas gift, she didn't get me one (probably cause she was already moving on in her mind from our relationship) anyway after realizing i got her one, she told me a few days later that she has my xmas gift ordered and on the way. I was excited. Cut to a few days later, BREAKUP. Now my roommate comes home tonight and hands me the gift (dvds) that she gave to him for me. (He frequents the bar she works at, hence why he brought me the gift). What do i do? Should I have him give the dvds back to her? Should I just take them and not say anything? (its been NC since breakup except for one email.) I don't want them as now they will only be a reminder to me..... so im looking for a bit of advice on how to handle.... is it as simple as just giving them away to someone else and forgetting the whole matter? Or is there a statement in there that should be made by returning the gift to her...? Thanks
lilmrcheerful Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Hi, well I am going to be in almost the exact same position as you, my gf broke up with me yesterday and she'd already got my birthday card and gifts in which she said on the phone she will send up, but I told her that she shouldn't worry about that anymore. Personally, I wouldn't want them now because it's far too soon, and I think it may be too soon for you too, as you say, the reminders are still there. If you were on friendly terms and moved on fully, then I think it would be easier to accept them as friendly gestures, but at the moment, I think for both you and I, it's too soon, unless of course she wants you to receive them indicating the first move to try and form a friendship, depending if you want that too, I would accept the gifts and send her a thank you message, it really depends on what you want to do with this situation. I know for me though, I don't think I could accept the gifts at the moment, the hurt is still prominent and it's too soon.
curiousnycgirl Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Right now it hurts too much to have them, hopefully in time your pride would not let you keep them. I say give them back with a very nice note saying something like - nice gesture, but entirely not necessary, and frankly at this point not wanted. All the best.
Author techfan Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 Thanks guys... good advice. I mean she broke my heart 10 days ago or so and now she wants to be like "here's your xmas gift! Enjoy!" Anyone else think i should give it back or just let it go and give the dvds away?
Trialbyfire Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 techfan, to give them back is an act of pettiness. Just put them away and walk away, until the DVDs have no significance beyond being articles of entertainment.
Author techfan Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 Trialbyfire you are right. Makes total sense, i will take the high road on this one. I won't contact to say thank you or anything but i will just stash them away for a long while. great advice. Thank you.
Island Girl Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 techfan, to give them back is an act of pettiness. Just put them away and walk away, until the DVDs have no significance beyond being articles of entertainment. Exactly. Giving them back may send her some sort of message - and you don't want her reading anything into it. You can give them to someone else if you want - I mean they are just DVDs and not personal. Or keep them stashed away as suggested by TBF.
Recommended Posts