sugar_and_spice Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Generally I've noticed most men say they don't and women say they do. What's your opinion?
Meaplus3 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I think this is a tough question. Speaking for myself here, most of the men that I have been friends with either him or I ended up wanting something more than simply a platonic friendship. Most likely because there was an underlying attraction from the get go. So perhaps if there is no underlying attraction on both parts, then platonic friendships between men and woman can work well. Just my thoughts. Mea:)
allina Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Well I think they do, but not very often, especially the super close ones. I have a couple male friends that are strictly platonic though these are mostly my bf's close friends and a coworker I'm close with.
Wildguy Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I think this is a tough question. Speaking for myself here, most of the men that I have been friends with either him or I ended up wanting something more than simply a platonic friendship. Most likely because there was an underlying attraction from the get go. So perhaps if there is no underlying attraction on both parts, then platonic friendships between men and woman can work well. Just my thoughts. Mea:) Thats excellent insight into the issue and I agree 100%. If you two actually just share something in common, genuinely enjoy each others company, and aren't physically attracted to each other, then it can totally exist.
O'Malley Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I think it's possible even in a situation where one person finds their friend attractive -- but in the generic way that (s)he finds many men/women attractive, not in a way that compels them to seek that person out for more. In the best platonic friendships, there tends to be a physical or mental impediment to finding that person desireable. My guy friends aren't hideous (one in fact could be considered clasically handsome) but there is no overwhelming chemistry there.
Author sugar_and_spice Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 do you all mean friends in a group , workplace , etc, or just very close ones?
Trialbyfire Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 If you're a woman befriending men, expect there to be the odd crush here and there. As long as you can keep from fueling the crush, the crushes go away in time; some sooner, some later. If you flirt or send out sexual signals through inappropriate words and actions to men deliberately, expect that you're playing with fire and someone's going to take you up on your offer. If you're the type of woman who can shut down any form of sexuality, in your interactions with male friends, you'll receive reciprocal treatment.
motive2002 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 If she's ugly, then yes I would consider it platonic
motive2002 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I'm thinking of "When Harry met Sally" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFWGOKuFyjk&feature=related Funny movie if you've never seen it.
lilmrcheerful Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I think this is a tough question. Speaking for myself here, most of the men that I have been friends with either him or I ended up wanting something more than simply a platonic friendship. Most likely because there was an underlying attraction from the get go. So perhaps if there is no underlying attraction on both parts, then platonic friendships between men and woman can work well. Just my thoughts. Mea:) Nice post. Unfortunately, my now ex-gf always convinced me that she and her "ex bf" only had a platonic relationship trying to remain "friends" until it was plainly obvious that there was more to it than that, I simply wouldn't trust that anymore to be honest because people almost always want more eventually.
Wildguy Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Nice post. Unfortunately, my now ex-gf always convinced me that she and her "ex bf" only had a platonic relationship trying to remain "friends" until it was plainly obvious that there was more to it than that, I simply wouldn't trust that anymore to be honest because people almost always want more eventually. Yeah but thats different. I am very convinced that you can't simply be friends with an Ex. There will always be more. Anyone who says they can is fooling themselves. And, I do believe that you can not be attracted to even an attractive opposite sex person. None of my friends I would consider ugly either, but on the same token I am not attracted to them. I feel differently toward those girls than ones I haven't befriended. Now, sure, initially you may be attracted to them. But you can learn, that once you become better friends, to find them not attractive. Thats how it works for me anyways.
Author sugar_and_spice Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 Well I think they do, but not very often, especially the super close ones. I have a couple male friends that are strictly platonic though these are mostly my bf's close friends and a coworker I'm close with. So are you close friends with these men, especially the coworker? BTW does the opinion on LoveShack seem a bit skewed around people who reply "no"? Isn't it natural to make friends with people including those of the opposite sex at places like work and through university, anywhere you meet them regularly?
xpaperxcutx Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 So are you close friends with these men, especially the coworker? BTW does the opinion on LoveShack seem a bit skewed around people who reply "no"? Isn't it natural to make friends with people including those of the opposite sex at places like work and through university, anywhere you meet them regularly? Relationships turning platonic are one in a million. From experience I've seen more platonic relationships turning into romance than anything else. Like one of my best friends, her last and current relationship are both the results of being friends, and bf/gfs afterwards. Of course it does create a bit of problem because she has told me her last relationship turned sour and the friendship couldn't be recovered. I have no bias towards friends being partners, but I wouldn't put myself in such a position. If I make a friend, I make sure to remain, unless there are feelings from the very start, then I would want to pursue a relationship openly rather than try being friends first.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Once there has been an actual relationship, then in general its a bad idea to try and turn it platonic. You can be nice to each other. But personally, I won't remain friends with an ex. It just isn't something that works out well in most ways. I also have some pretty good friends that are girls that I have never dated and never will. I know they aren't interested in me for a sexual relationship. But in general there aren't that many of those relationships.
prettybaby Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 My ex and I are totally platonic. We're both seeing other people but our friendship is as strong as ever. No sexual attraction at all. So yes, it is possible.
Author sugar_and_spice Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 Relationships turning platonic are one in a million. From experience I've seen more platonic relationships turning into romance than anything else. Like one of my best friends, her last and current relationship are both the results of being friends, and bf/gfs afterwards. Of course it does create a bit of problem because she has told me her last relationship turned sour and the friendship couldn't be recovered. I have no bias towards friends being partners, but I wouldn't put myself in such a position. If I make a friend, I make sure to remain, unless there are feelings from the very start, then I would want to pursue a relationship openly rather than try being friends first. yeah, I was only asking if you think men and women can ever be just friends. from work, uni, wherever.
boxing123 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Yes, but usually if the man does not find you to be very sexually attractive.
mr.dream merchant Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I had a bunch of female friends, some close, some just to say hi to everyday and chit chat. More often than not, most of them had a thing for me. I remember hanging out with my closest female friend one night when my relationship with my current GF just started. She jumped on me and tried to make out with me, sigh...2 years down the drain. I had to break her heart and tell her that I really didn't see her like that. It's crazy, I've never been able to keep a true female friend. Maybe its the vibes I'm sending out?
Author sugar_and_spice Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 Yes, but usually if the man does not find you to be very sexually attractive. yeah obviously if you're sexually attracted to the other person you were never looking for just friendship anyway I guess.
mr.dream merchant Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 So I guess the real question here should be: Can sexually attractive people have platonic friends?
Tony T Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 So I guess the real question here should be: Can sexually attractive people have platonic friends? I hate to be the one to inform you of this...but everybody's different. I may find a particular woman extremely sexually attractive while the guy next to me might think she looks like his mother. There are no blanket "sexually attractive" people out there. Everybody makes that individual judgment for themselves based on their tastes...and tastes vary wisely. There are some movie stars that guys slobber over and I don't find sexually moving at all. I have never, ever been able to figure out what people saw in Marilyn Monroe...yet many see her as a sex symbol. I may find a woman sexually attractive this year...and next year she may grow a big butt, get a mole on her face, develop bad breath and turn me off totally in a sexual way. I think I could probably be her 100 percent her friend at that point...as long as she didn't breathe close to me (in the case of bad breath).
mr.dream merchant Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I hate to be the one to inform you of this...but everybody's different. I may find a particular woman extremely sexually attractive while the guy next to me might think she looks like his mother. There are no blanket "sexually attractive" people out there. Everybody makes that individual judgment for themselves based on their tastes...and tastes vary wisely. There are some movie stars that guys slobber over and I don't find sexually moving at all. I have never, ever been able to figure out what people saw in Marilyn Monroe...yet many see her as a sex symbol. I may find a woman sexually attractive this year...and next year she may grow a big butt, get a mole on her face, develop bad breath and turn me off totally in a sexual way. I think I could probably be her 100 percent her friend at that point...as long as she didn't breathe close to me (in the case of bad breath). I knew all that. I guess I should've asked. Can you be friends with someone who's sexually attractive?
Author sugar_and_spice Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 So I guess the real question here should be: Can sexually attractive people have platonic friends? I think it's more about having chemistry, not just thinking someone is good looking. Doesnt always happen together.
anne1707 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I may find a woman sexually attractive this year...and next year she may grow a big butt, get a mole on her face, develop bad breath and turn me off totally in a sexual way. I think I could probably be her 100 percent her friend at that point...as long as she didn't breathe close to me (in the case of bad breath). And you can bet that there will be a man out there who would find her attractive!!! Takes all sorts.
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