zilverenvlinder Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 It seems like it is. It seems like dudes just get handed whatever they want to them on a silver platter relationship-wise, and girls just get f--ed. Literally.
IrishCarBomb Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Any more substance to this question? Or is this just a rant?
amaysngrace Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Huh? How is it easier for guys? And who gives them things on a silver platter? You? Cause I sure don't. Unless they are giving me things on a silver platter and then yeah maybe. Also if two people are f--ing then aren't both people getting f--ed?
Author zilverenvlinder Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 I don't know. Just a discussion. I always see girls whining and weeping over men but never vice versa. And I know a LOT of men.
IrishCarBomb Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I always see girls whining and weeping over men but never vice versa. And I know a LOT of men. Do you think that men have a higher threshold for "whining and weeping"? Perhaps there are similar and comparable frustrations, but you understand, empathize, and recognize the female ones easier?
Lucky555 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I agree with you. I have dated some real duds lately. I'm sure they were seeing other girls as well which is why i don't care anymore if I date more than one guy at a time. If i find the right guy believe me I will dump everyone else and keep him! It has yet to happen and hence I'm single. lol My philosophy about dating and guys. (I started doing this about a couple months ago, I just had an epiphany about dating and how wrong it is that a lot of guys are dating more than one girl and the one girl that has her heart set on him (potentially gets broken!) and the guy just sits there taking it all in. Well i figured it is time for a change! (for me that is) I used to see one guy at a time as i mentioned. However, it was horrible because I would always end up not liking him and missed the chance to meet someone else. So until I am committed to a guy I will see others. I believe it takes a few dates to determine if a guy is looking for the same things as you are and to know him a bit better. I used to think i was a horrible person for seeing more than one guy at a time. But really its not bad at all because I have not committed myself or used him for anything. To sum this up I have found it takes more than a couple dates to know if the guy wants the same thing you do. Many guys will tell you what you want to hear so they can get laid! Some guys will chase you for a long time until they get what they want...sex. The simple fact is we can get sex from just about anyone (its harder for men in my view), but if you want a relationship i believe you have to wait for a guy that is suitable for you. Many guys I have met (just hanging out) are telling their buddies, oh i just got laid, this chick is worthless, and then they stop calling, stop being attentive, ect! Therefore the girl means nothing to him and i believe it is because he got what he wanted and called it quits. The guy who wants a relationship with you i believe will "get to know you better" and want to know "how your day is" and start "caring" about you staying with him. This is why I like seeing more than one guy at a time because it really gives me the opportunity not to think about when is he going to call me and the what ifs. It really just has allowed me to concentrate on what I am looking for and seeing who has those qualities. Its long but i believe its helped me and saved me a lot of heartaches.
Author zilverenvlinder Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 "The guy who wants a relationship with you i believe will "get to know you better" and want to know "how your day is" and start "caring" about you staying with him. This is why I like seeing more than one guy at a time because it really gives me the opportunity not to think about when is he going to call me and the what ifs. It really just has allowed me to concentrate on what I am looking for and seeing who has those qualities." I think so too. Once they call you to see how your day is going is a big sign.
Author zilverenvlinder Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 Well this guy I've been seeing called me today and said, "Hey, what are you doing this afternoon?" I said nothing, he said "I'll call you at like 3:00 and we can hang out". So he didn't call me, 4:00 rolls around and I call him, he doesn't answer, then 5:00, so I called him again, he doesn't answer. 8:00 rolls around and I text him with "Hey whats up" He immediately texts "Hey my boys are coming down from the city we're going to hang out not sure what we're going to do yet" So I reply, "Oh ok. Well thanks for calling me back." Click. Ass hole.
Lucky555 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 zilverenvlinder I think so too. Once they call you to see how your day is going is a big sign. yes indeed it is a big sign, but the dating aspect is where you discover his real intentions. Guys i have noticed are really good at portraying themselves as good guys while texting, writing online,sending e-mails and calling. I find when you are face to face on a few dates with them, you begin to really see who they are and what they want or are looking for. (Just keep what they say to you in the back of your mind and watch his ACTIONS.) Its hard to ask in the beginning if they want a relationship because you don't want to scare them off especially if you are attracted to them and your getting to know each other. However, going on dates and talking, ENJOYING their company, and having FUN with him will allow you to see where it goes. Believe me the topic of a relationship will be brought up by him if you are not having sex with him! I think sex is an important part of a relationship and personally if the guy is not what i want or i feel i don't know if he has what i desire yet then it won't happen. I will either tell him I want to wait (get to know him better which is true!) or I will say I want to be exclusive with him and make sure hes not seeing anyone else. I don't want to pick up any diseases ect! (Have yet to meet the right guy though but I have prevented myself from just hooking up with guys who are not right for me) At some point while dating multiple men i have found there will be ones who show themselves to be just after getting laid and the other that will wait and then bring up the topic of a relationship. The guys that want to just get laid will disappear very quickly if they don't get what they want. There are some guys that stay and bring up the topic of a relationship. Now when this point comes I usually say "i need to know you better" (which is the truth) or I know at the point its not working and call it quits before or after this point. So i believe there are guys that want relationships but getting to know the guy is crucial to me because when I commit i really want to fall in love with the guy. Therefore if he doesn't have the qualities i desire there is no point in having a relationship with the guy which is why dating is important. Relationships develop in all sorts of circumstances, but for me the people i have met are STRANGERS to me. Sometimes its easier i think going from friendships to relationships with people. I don't know if guys do have it easier or not, but it does seem like when it comes to relationships they usually determine if there is one or not. Its definitely a difficult dating world!
Lucky555 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Well this guy I've been seeing called me today and said, "Hey, what are you doing this afternoon?" I said nothing, he said "I'll call you at like 3:00 and we can hang out". So he didn't call me, 4:00 rolls around and I call him, he doesn't answer, then 5:00, so I called him again, he doesn't answer. 8:00 rolls around and I text him with "Hey whats up" He immediately texts "Hey my boys are coming down from the city we're going to hang out not sure what we're going to do yet" So I reply, "Oh ok. Well thanks for calling me back." Click. Ass hole. AND THIS IS WHY I LOVE DATING MULTIPLE GUYS! I don't wait for him to say hes going to call back at a certain time. I still do what i am going to do and whether or not he calls really doesn't concern me. I had this happen to me a bunch of times where the guy says he will call at a certain time and then he doesn't, but i don't call him, and he calls later with an excuse of why he didn't call. It will work don't contact him find someone else and you will find someone who is worthy of your time! I stopped caring! It feels so good not to care and wait to see if he calls. Its not in your control. see he didn't call you and you can be doing something else. If you two set a date and a time to get together then i would say great! However, he really is showing lack of interest here and "playing a silly game" (i have found MANY GUYS DO THIS BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT TO SEEM TOO INTERESTED so they can determine your interest and see how desperate you are, hes just taking it in it feeds most mens ego, sad but true.). This is why i say watch the actions. I think it would have been better if you didn't call him. Your not in a relationship and its not like you said you would call him. You can have other plans with someone worthy of your time who will call you when they say they will. He could have texted you also if he was going to be busy with something else at that time and he knows this and chose not to. Don't wait for him. and i just have began to understand the concept of "keep living your life!" Go date other guys, go hang out with friends, go shopping, go work out. If he wants to see you he can call you and set a date. If he doesn't call your still living your life and your still meeting other guys!
LovieDove24 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 The reason why guys have an easier time dating in my opinion is because they truly hold more control. They are the ones doing the chasing...ie the calling, emailing. And where does that leave us women? On the receiving end waiting. Heaven forbid we do the calling because we want to. Nooo, we must abide by the rules. Its a crock of sh*t but truly the only way to play the game. You can call *occasionaly* but absolutely not more than he or he's outta there. Seriously. The way you can take back control is by keeping yourself busy. Like Lucky555 said, date multiple men at once, the more the better. He may not have called you regardless of whether or not you sat by the phone. But at least if you have another guy lined up you can say "Hey, oh well at least I have my date with Joe Shmo on Friday so that'll be fun." If you don't put too much stock in anybody there's no potential for disaster when there's a crash. Take this advice only if you're in the beginning stages of dating of course. It does not apply once you're both "serious" bc you can't have a relationship w/o allowing yourself to at least be a little bit vulnerable.
39388 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Dating is impossibly hard. Too many women think it is all a game.
Trialbyfire Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 It seems like it is. It seems like dudes just get handed whatever they want to them on a silver platter relationship-wise, and girls just get f--ed. Literally. Not necessarily. Finding a relationship isn't difficult for either gender. Finding someone who's compatible in as many ways as possible, is more difficult. If you're patient, it will happen to you sooner or later. It's just a matter of time and numbers.
RichGuy Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Is dating easier for guys? For rich guys, yes.
peteyj Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I think it's far easier for most women than men..Quite a few women I know could go out on dates every night of the week if they wanted... Yeah half might be losers, but the more people you have the opportunity of meeting, the more likely you are to at least find somebody cool.... There are very few guys I've known on both coasts who would find dates every night of the week. It's all about numbers. If some guy only goes on a couple dates a month while some girl can go on 20.....the odds are in their favor. The guys are the ones who have to chase....A female who can get 20 dates in a month can turn down tons of guys they just think are 'no way.' Many guys aren't approached that often and aren't approaching tons of females every single day unless they are in high school or college. Heck look at the online sites... Many women get hundreds if not thousands of replies....Easier to date when you got that many options.
runner Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 ^^ i second that. if dating is a numbers game, then i'd say it's generally in women's favour -- with perhaps the exception of the few guys who live for, and are good at, the whole PUA stuff. but in terms of keeping a lasting relationship, i'd say its about even stevens.
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