awesomeallalone Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 after 12 days nc im finding that the highs are getting higher and the lows are getting lower..... is this even normal??... the first week i felt ok more than i felt bad but now i feel more bad then good and its really bad when its bad but when its good its good i dont know i feel like im loosing my mind. any suggestions?
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 Research Bipolar disorder. It's the first thing that has come to mind with this description.
jc Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Research Bipolar disorder. It's the first thing that has come to mind with this description. I'm sorry, but I disagree. If you have a history of these extreme highs and lows BEFORE the breakup and the initiation of NC, then yes, this could be a possibility. But if your moods were pretty stable day to day, then I doubt that you suddenly have developed Bipolar disorder. More likely, you're suffering the same thing many of us on here are suffering: grief due to loss. When you're grieving, you can be going through all sorts of moods and feelings. You can feel sad, depressed, angry and rejected all at the same time. An hour later you can feel pretty happy, great even. What I would suggest would be to start monitoring the thoughts you are having. If you notice that you feel really sad all of a sudden, ask yourself (out loud if you need to!), "What am I thinking or believing? And is it true or an illusion?" For example, I'll be feeling pretty good and then my mood will shift, I'll feel pretty sad all of a sudden. When I identify the thought that led to this feeling, it's usually along the lines of "Why did he leave me? What's wrong with me? Maybe if I had been a better girlfriend he would have stayed." And then I try to go through these thoughts rationally. Could I really have done anything to make him stay with me (probably not; I was a good gf, not perfect, but loving and faithful and supportive)? Is the fact that he left me entirely a reflection on me? Does it have anything to do with what's going on with him? Etc. Etc. My dad is a cognitive psychologist and has been for over 30 years. So I know that this stuff works (look up cognitive therapy if you need to; there is lots of research on it). It's not like it's a miracle cure, but it can really help you to identify and change the negative thought patterns that we get ourselves into when we are feeling depressed. One other thing my dad suggested to me the other day: Notice how much you are 'living' or thinking in the past over the next few days. It's actually shocking. I can't believe how much time I have been spending going over and over the breakup, the relationship, the good times, the bad times in my head. A LOT. My dad says that when people are upset/depressed, they tend to live in the past a lot. So first, recognize if this is what you are doing and secondly, try to catch yourself doing it and bring yourself back to the present. If these mad mood swings continue over the next few weeks/months, then (and only then) would I start researching Bipolar disorder.
saturnsfall Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 after 12 days nc im finding that the highs are getting higher and the lows are getting lower..... is this even normal??... the first week i felt ok more than i felt bad but now i feel more bad then good and its really bad when its bad but when its good its good i dont know i feel like im loosing my mind. any suggestions? Most likely because there is more time put between you and the last time you spoke. It all becomes more real as time passes. You start to realize you haven't talked to the person. You're ok at times because in a way you're adjusting, but when you think about it, it's very sad because you're acknowledging the loss. I'm going through this now myself. I'm ok, but if I think about it, I'm more sad than I was a week ago. It's all about time. We just need to give ourselves time.
Author awesomeallalone Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 thanks alot for all of your words Jc you really put things into perspective and i will for sure try and monitor my thoughts so that i can get to the root of why im feeling a certain way..... Saturn yep all we need is time....its always good to hear that im not the only one going through this..... Tom- i dont think ive reached BPD level yet....
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