vulcan Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 My ex and I broke up in Jan of last year so its been about a year now and I am still struggling with getting over it. I have been seeing a therapist which IMO isn't helping much. On anti depressents The thing is she dumped me. I loved her dearly. Long story short when she moved uot she got into several so called realtionships then losther job and became a call girl to support and pay her bills. After a 5 month NC she called me one noght crying and told me what seh was doing. I tried to help her in EVERYWAY. She would not listen. I became or displayed some obsessive actions that led her to cutting me out of her life altogether. After fighting with her to get her to stop being an escort she said I thought we might be able to hang out and talk and stuff. Well for me this was very hard I was still in love with her and how could I accept or be friends hang out with her or whatever knowing she was going off at nights having sex with people for money. How can I be friends or be around her without having any sort of emotion there to that ya know?? So anyways, I tried tried tried to help her get her to stop. I e-mailed her constantly with things like the bad things that can happen being a prostitute to places and people she caould talk to about getting help ect. I sent her e-mails being nice, I sent her e-mails yelling at her for being stupid about her choices I tried to be cordial, I tried being mean and nasty and she has nothing to do with me. So Ihave a hard time coping because I can't understand why she would chose to bea call girl?? I know she had issues with her childhood and Iam sure that plays a part but still I feel so helpless and even though she doesn't want me in her life I can't help but fell that I want to help her. It breaks my heart cause here Iam I loved her soo much and she is living this crazy life and I don't even think she knows whats going on. I knw this is only going to hurt her more down the raod inlifewhenit all comes back to her and makes her emotional state worse. I just have a hard time letting go when I knw that she is out doing these things. And it really hurts because I only want to see her safe and not get screwed up anymore and she wants nothing to do with me. She shut me out completly. So I sit here suffering while she is out doing whatever and living her life and while she is all like WHO HOOO look at me all is good times with me while I have to sit here and got hrough this H E L L and it doesn't even bother her that I hurt soo much. Where is the fairnessand justice in this? Why do I have to suffer when I only tried to be the best person I could to her and tried to keep her from doing things that will end up hurting her. I feel soo much anger especialy at the "clients" she sees These guys know that most prostitutes have serrious emotional issues and they don't care they take advantage of these girls anyways. they cheat on their wives GF's or whatever and they don't care then turn around and go on websites and rate the escorts performance. What girl in their right mind would subject themselves to that humiliation, degrading, objectification??? I wish I could shoot all those bastard guys. I dunno I am very angry and emotional about allot of things with this situation and I cannot find any sort of peace for myself.
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