DayDreamer75 Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 we've been living together for 8 years. We went through a lot. I remember that when I first moved in with this man, I thought I had made the worst choice of my life cause I did not feel loved. Now, 8 years down the line and several times when I made a decision inside my self that I would leave this relationship, our partnership had a complete turnaround. For several months now I am living with a "new" man. Physically, it's the same guy, but a totally different person. He's now become everything I ever wanted. He's very cuddling, caring, thoughtful, romantic, and I feel loved... We have great and deep conversations going, it's as if we are just getting romantically involved. We travel a lot, go for romantic dates and have lots of fun together... But there's one part of me that I just can't let go... Our relationship was never too passionate... even in the beginning of our live-in experience, we would make love 1-2 times a week. Over time this has changed. Initially due to him because he was too tired. Afterwards due to myself because I had so much hurt inside that I just did not want him to touch me. Now that I've fallen in love with this "new" person, everything is going wonderful. I feel I can totally trust him and I am ready to do anything for him, be more understanding and giving. Yet, as much as I miss passion, I can't make myself to want to make love with him. I don't think it's a problem for him cause he's never been a sex addict. But we make love mostly once a month. In good times it happens that we make love once a week for several months and then no lovemaking for a month or two at maximum. I'd like to add that just because we don't make love does not mean we're not intimate. We cuddle continuously, hold hands, hugs and even kiss passionately a lot, every single day... but none of us expect for this to go any further. Is this normal? What do you think if anything is wrong with us? Could this be due to our extremely busy schedules? How can I change things around? Thank you all for your input.
Heroic Posted February 7, 2009 Posted February 7, 2009 Tell him what you want...that goes a long way. Try throwing something unexpected at him and see how he responds. Normally were a soft romantic couple but A few weeks ago I shook our normal sex routine up a bit. I called her upstairs to come look at something interesting. When she came up I slid in behind her grabbed her from behind pushed her to the wall and began kissing her neck and running my hands through her hair. when we go to the bedroom it was all ready a few new toys were there on the bed waiting. When she went to get undressed I looked her square in the eye and said, "That's my job tonight". Instead of a shared romantic experience, I took on a dominant role and I sought to please her as I choose too. We made love for over an hour. I sought her out and seduced her with intensity. We have had a hard time keeping our hands off one another since. I keep the mood going by texting her durring the day telling her how I can imagine her smell or taste or how I think about her in certain clothes. In short, bring to the table yourself what you want him to bring. Think about all the naughty things you can do to him, dwell on it for a nice long time let those emotions well up in you and then let them explode all over him. You do that once or twice and he will jump at the chance to reciprocate.
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