Knight_Ctrl Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 She came in again today while I was working to return stuff........stuff which could have been returned at the outside drop bin (I work at a library). I'm convinced she is doing this for a reason so I have written her a note so next time she comes in I can give it to her. It goes like this "Look, after all of the stupid sh*t thats happened could you at least make an effort to stay out of my life? I don't want to see you ever. Coming in to work wondering if you're going t oshow up is painful. Consider my feelings at least this once please. You've gotten everything else you've wanted up until now. Just do me a favor and stay the hell away please." I included the phone number and business hours of a library no longer than a 10 min drive down the road she could easily use. Do I pass or fail. To me this feels pretty damn good.
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 i don't know...................i'm sure she's fully aware there's another library...............i don't think anything you can do or say will change her mind if she's as heartless as she sounds. did she try talking to you?
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 16, 2009 Author Posted January 16, 2009 i don't know...................i'm sure she's fully aware there's another library...............i don't think anything you can do or say will change her mind if she's as heartless as she sounds. did she try talking to you? no, she hasnt tried talking to me....if she does keep this garbage up I'm going to have to find another job. I'll be damnned if I have to wake up every single day worrying if I am going to see her or not. Hell no. Not goign to do that.
Ronni_W Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 I get your difficulty. The problem that I'm seeing is that the library is a public place and community service -- any chance she'll use your note against you, take it to your supervisor...or the local paper? Headline: "Pissed-off ex tries to ban woman from local library!!!" Maybe the best you'll be able to do is tone it way down? "Look, it really disrupts my ability to work effectively when you come in unexpectedly. Is there any way you can find it in your heart to visit the library at _<address>_. The hours there are ________. Thanks so much. I really will appreciate your compassion and consideration." I know that doesn't pack a fraction of the punch of your original. But at least you won't be putting the fate of your employment in HER (bitchy) hands.
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 oooooooooh i hadn't thought of it that way at all. i just think you shouldn't give her a note at all. do you want to give her that satisfaction? i see where you're coming from but i honestly think you're just going to have to grin and bare it.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 16, 2009 Author Posted January 16, 2009 eeeeeehhhhhhh................ Well lucky me I in fact showed the note to my supervisor just because I was proud of it and she didn't really care about it at all she was just like "whatever you gotta do to make things ok for yourself" My boss is super cool, but i'm pretty sure it cant get me in any trouble. Either she keeps coming in all the damn time and I leave or it somehow does get me in trouble and I get fired and leave.
PinkToes Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 So I'm guessing she's doing this just to annoy you? That she's looking for a reaction from you? If that's the case, probably the best thing you can do is try to ignore it. I know it's horrible, and I'd be totally pissed off if an ex did that to me, so I do understand that part of it. Her behavior is insensitive and cruel. But if she's looking for a reaction from you, and she doesn't get one, she'll give it up eventually. And probably sooner rather than later. Meanwhile, you end up looking like the strong, resilient, unflappable guy you really are!
BikerBeagle Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 The sad truth of the matter, knight, is that you can't control what your ex does. At best, she's going to see that note and say, "he can't tell me what to do!" ...at worst, if she truly is coming to your workplace just to bug you, she's going to laugh ...knowing that what she is doing is working. You have to find some way to deal with this on your own. If the very act of seeing her is causing you such turmoil (obviously it's not her intention to talk to you), then you really have no choice except to remove yourself from that situation and quit.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 16, 2009 Author Posted January 16, 2009 hhhmmmmm........fine. I'm going to try to not care....possibly fail but I'm going to try and fake it. See if she stops getting her reaction if she'll stop coming in. If not then the note is going to have to happen. And if that doesnt work....bye bye library.
kizik Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 If you quit your job, in this economy, b/c of some dumba$$ girl, I will kick your f*cking a$$.
saturnsfall Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 Don't quit your job because of an ex. I had an amazing job I worked at night for fun, it was wonderful. I left because we worked together, and that was the worst mistake I made. I miss it. I understand this is probably your full time job and you can't take time away from it, but the best thing for you to do is go to work, not worry about her and deal with it if / when she arrives. Don't spend time dwelling on whether she'll show or not. If she does show, no letters. Speak with her in person. Just tell her that this is your place of employment and you would prefer if she didn't stop by during your work hours. That way, if she needs to take a book out (hopefully one titled something to the effect of "How to treat people with respect") she can do that during the hours you are not working! P.S. I think they have that book on tape as well, so she can listen to it as she's driving by!!!!!
thegoodlife Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Don't give her the note. From what I've read of your other threads it seems this girl is only doing this to get under your skin, and because she can. Giving her that note is giving her the reaction she wants, and will probably only cause her to come into your work even more just to spite you. I wish there was some advice I could give you that would make this torture she is putting you through any easier but the truth is I don't. The only thing I can suggest is to continue to stay strong like you have been, and try to push through. In one of your other posts you said you don't quit until August so I know that seems like forever away, but I assure you, with more time it will go by faster and August will be here before you know it. Then hopefully by then this hell will have ended. In the meantime, try not to make it harder on yourself by trying to reach out to someone that has total disregard for your feelings. Good luck knight
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