boxing123 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 LOL What inconsistencies? From my first post I said men do not think women are sluts just for having sex. That idea is so ridiculous, that I can't believe you are past the age of 18 and even debating it. You are telling men how they think. Man after man is telling you they had LTR's after having sex quickly. Everyone is lying to you? Tomcat read through the thread. EVERY SINGLE MAN with the exception of Carhill agrees with me. What does that tell you? And he even stated most men agree with me. And if you read my example based on your words, you would realize having sex is not what would make a man call you names. That was the whole point..
BubblyPopcorn Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 OP your decision to have sex with someone shouldn’t be because of all of this hooey, it should be when YOU are comfortable with the person. Having sex too soon versus later does not determine anything, I have friends who are married to the person they slept with on the first date and I have friends who waited several months and the guy vanished the very next day. Some people match up, others don’t. The number of dates isn’t what’s important, it’s your readiness and his, mutual readiness and based on your personal desire. If you’re not ready then aim to resolve those reasons first before going any further. You absolutely have to feel comfortable in your own skin and no one can tell you or show you what that comfort level is.
IrishCarBomb Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I know men, men all think alike no matter how you try to backpeddle out of it. I know how YOU think better than you know yourself so save the semantics. You should write a book. If you have this insight you could greatly improve humanity.
Tomcat33 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 And if you read my example based on your words, you would realize having sex is not what would make a man call you names. That was the whole point.. They are not MY words, they are words used in today's vocabulary as often as any other common word. YOU YOURSELF said men categorize so what is a slut then? Why are there EVEN categories of women? That is what makes YOU a hypocrite. If you are ok with that then why do you categorize? If you can define that, which you already have, you have completely contradicted your whole theory that women are sexual and we should express it. The first thing you did was use the example of "the drunken chick who picks up a different man every night from the bar" why is she a slut? She is doing the exact same thing men do. for the record women do WAY less than that and are considered sluts, by MEN. Still haven't answered that and you won't because you have a hypocritical stance on it. If you can judge any woman on that then it's safe to say women SHOULD watch their reputations because no matter how you slice it men like YOU who say it is ok to sleep on first meeting, will judge them. End of story really.
Tomcat33 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 You should write a book. If you have this insight you could greatly improve humanity. Great insight? It's no different than coming up with the conclusion that women are emotional, it's not rocket science.
IrishCarBomb Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Great insight? It's no different than coming up with the conclusion that women are emotional, it's not rocket science. You really should write a book. You understand how both men and women think, better than they do themselves. This could greatly advance humanity.
Tomcat33 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 You really should write a book. You understand how both men and women think, better than they do themselves. This could greatly advance humanity. Yeah maybe I will. You'll be first in line to buy it.
IrishCarBomb Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Yeah maybe I will. You'll be first in line to buy it. Wow. You're probably right. As I sit here I am thinking probably would never buy such a book based on such an absurd assertion, but who am I to disagree with a person who knows how I think better than I do myself? I thank you for your insight. 1
audrey_1 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I have only had sex on the first date once (it's true!), at 33 years old, with someone I have always been attracted to but had not seen in 15 years until this day. It was probably one of the best, if not the best, times I've ever had with anyone of the opposite sex. I initiated it. He had laid on the couch and was snoring when I made my move. We were up late and it had passed effortlessly. Though we're not in a relationship, at the time, that was the decision that I made, and I'm not taking it back. I definitely wouldn't refer to myself as a slut, but I can't imagine this evening turning out any other way, nor would I want to.
BubblyPopcorn Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 He had laid on the couch and was snoring when I made my move. We were up late and it had passed effortlessly. Though we're not in a relationship, at the time, that was the decision that I made, and I'm not taking it back. I definitely wouldn't refer to myself as a slut, but I can't imagine this evening turning out any other way, nor would I want to. Cute, but I hope he was awake when you did this
Tomcat33 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Cute, but I hope he was awake when you did this I was thinking the same thing
Charles1978 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Tomcat, I think you're getting hung up on the idea that men categorize women as sluts, prudes, etc. I don't categorize women. What I will concede to you is that, in my past, I knew which women would probably be a good bet to get laid. I just saw them as like-minded on the occasions that I have slept with a girl on the first night. I will admit, I went into meeting my ex at the bar where we hooked up with my mind made up and pretty much convinced that she wanted to have sex with me. And we did... she practically attacked me, and I enjoyed every minute of it. It turned into a pretty good relationship. But at the same time, there are also women in my life that I know do not sleep around... women that require a long-term courting process before sex. I've known them for years. But the fact that women CAN be differentiated based upon their sexual habits doesn't mean that all men categorize them with derogatory terms like "slut", "tease", or "prude". Catergorizing doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing.
boxing123 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Tomcat there is one person twisting words, and as usual it is you. Of course you left out the fact that in my example the woman at the bar was married and cheating. Who cares.. Let me make it very simple for you. If a man likes a woman, and is interested,he will remain interested after sex. If it occurs sooner or later. It makes NO difference. The idea that I will go on several dates with different women, meet a woman I finally want to have sex with, have a great time, have sex with her on a first or second date, then say "Wow, I liked her, but now I think she is a slut" is beyond bizarre to me. What will I then say? "You know, that girl was great, but she had sex!!! I want a woman who will play games with sex, and withhold it from me to get what she wants, now and in the future!!! What a fun challenge that would be for me! She might make me buy her dinner 5 times first! WOW.. I know for sure she would be a keeper!"
Tomcat33 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Tomcat there is one person twisting words, and as usual it is you. Of course you left out the fact that in my example the woman at the bar was married and cheating. WHOA you are totally right I did miss the married part. Sorry my bad, that changes everything. I take back the hypocrite part then based on that example.
Tomcat33 Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 I hate to dissapoint my fans, but I guess this means I won't be putting out a book either.
Trimmer Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Sex is important and meaningful, but not the be-all and end-all of a budding relationship. For mature adults, the importance placed on "how soon" is secondary to the reality of the connection two people are making. Judge your budding relationship on REALITY - who you both are, how you are connecting, etc. Hey, even "how good the sex is", but not how many days someone was or wasn't able to cross off on a calendar before doing it. I respect some people's individual desire to wait - I'm not denigrating that - but claiming to objectively approve or disapprove of others based upon time-delay-until-sex is silly. So I agree with the following two comments... It is not so much about the length of time it takes to get a woman into bed. It is how much of a connection you need with her to sleep with her. This is totally, completely, utterly dependent on the people involved. There is no way you will ever get an objective answer that will end all debate on this matter. You just can't talk in absolutes when it comes to stuff like this. -------------------------------------- Sex is an incredibly important ingredient in any long-term viable relationship. But...it's not the only ingredient. If that's all there is, then it's a relationship not worth having. I agree, and I think it's consistent with that point to say that categorically ruling someone "in" or "out" based on "how soon you have sex" is throwing the baby out with the bathwater. That's so secondary to the important considerations of who the people are and what kind of connection they are making. I know men, men all think alike no matter how you try to backpeddle out of it. I'm shocked, SHOCKED that anyone could believe this. (and damn, you sounded so hot when you said that....)
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