amandaparker503 Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 [FONT=Arial]Wow 5 months have past and what I thought I would never get over, seems to have got better.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I want to say to you all the only way I got through this was to ride the waves of emotions and to do a lot self analysis.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I made mistakes, I was treated really bad, but out of it all I am stronger and as much as it has been a god awful time of my life, without it I would not be this new butterfly that I am emerging as.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]My ex is still the same, still looks miserable, still with the new cheatfriend and still struggles to say hello and goodbye , but me,I am moving forward, my study is going really well, lots of grade A’s , I am as so fit I am cutting muscles and I smile, laugh and hold myself so much better. [/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I read a lot , a lot of mind books, I want to change , I allowed myself to be with a guy who left his wife pregnant for me and suffered his emotional abuse for 2 years. I allowed him to make me feel worthless, I had to question myself and learn what my own morals and values where. I am not perfect , but I am changing and I am me and I like me now. A huge difference.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]I truly feel my time of moving on is happening. I don’t know how, I just woke up a week ago and I just didn’t seem so heavy, the ex wasn’t on my mind. I have seen the ex and I just didn’t feel anything and actually found myself saying hello, how are you and it was natural, I just didn’t really care![/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]So there is hope, there is a world out here waiting for me to explore and find another love, make new friends and grow my own business and enjoy my son growing up. There is a reason my ex is not part of my future , he clearly was not special enough.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Thanks for the support, the harsh words, the love, the everything you gave me to get me to this stage.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Manda.[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]NOTE: I just want to say that my ex, has recently had to close his kickboxing club , which he has ran for years. He told everyone in the club apart from me. The strange thing is my friends are enjoying seeing him have some misfortune in life, I however felt sad for him and did acknowledge that i was sad to see the club shut(I sent a text.! tut tut!) and that he should keep up the fight to get it back up and running , and that as students we would not stop the fight. Of course I didn’t need to do that, but I felt I was being adult about it, I was after all a huge part of the club and one of the fittest and dedicated and spent many a year training day in and day out.Neadless to say he never replied! For me I felt a bit miffed he never text me to tell me, but I guess he must feel a bit embarrassed. I don’t know, maybe you will I say I shouldn’t care , but I just wanted to say I thought I would think the age old saying “what goes around comes around”…but I don’t feel like that. I just felt bad for him[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Anyway, I am enjoying my journey and loving my new look (new hair, no sad eyes, no I have just been dumped shoulders! ,fresh face and lots of male attention!!)[/FONT] [FONT=Arial] [/FONT] [FONT=Arial]Ride the waves and soon you will wake up and feel different and start your new journey![/FONT] [FONT=Arial]x[/FONT]
LostLamb Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Why does your post have lots of words and symbols at the front of each sentence?
amandaparker503 Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Ha ha ha! Yes..what is FONT all about!!! Tried to get rid of it! Makes it a mess to read!
amandaparker503 Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Too late to edit, then? How did you guess !! It had a complete FONT freak out!
lonelygurl Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 sounds like you are doing really well! that is great..... I hope to reach that point someday soon. Right now I am still really hurting but this gives me hope!
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