Girlygirl1977 Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 So I started a thread b/c I was a bit surprised to hear a guy I was dating intensely for 3 months was having serious doubts about us. He came to tell me this after New Year's Day. I've tried to keep a low profile with him since then but we have had contact with him being very flirtatious with a sexual vibe. I was pretty straightforward with him about the sexual tone and told him that given his disclosures that wasn't a good path for us. That was two days ago. Today I get a text that he is at the airport checking in for a flight to a certain caribbean island. We had considered going here this weekend when we were together b/c a friend of mine lives there and we could even stay with her if we wanted. But we had changed to another place by the time broke up. I didn't tell my plans but booked my trip soon after that discussion about the doubts etc. He said he just bought ticket yesterday and doesnt even know where he is staying. He said he would like to meet up and hopes to see me and I should contact him whenever. . . In many ways I dont have much to lose. I am staying with my friend and her bf also has friends in town so we have plans/activities. It will be on my turf and it doesn't have to be solo. thoughts? what is up with him?
Geishawhelk Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 He wants to have sex with you. He's somewhat dominant and extrovert by the sound of it. Why is this not obvious?
Author Girlygirl1977 Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 He wants to have sex with you. He's somewhat dominant and extrovert by the sound of it. Why is this not obvious? Yes he is a dominant/extrovert type - you are right on that. I just think he has commonsense (think/hope). I really hope that is not what he is imagining because there is no way and I've already made that abundantly clear. I think he is rational enough. . . .
Author Girlygirl1977 Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 Late his first night there for him/Thursday at 2am he sent me a msg kind of ranting as I guess he wasn't really happy with puerto rico. He even said he didn't know if he could make it through Saturday never mind his original departure date of Tuesday. I tried to make some positive suggestions in the morning and he wrote back and admitted perhaps he drank a few drinks before his late night text. I think he probably would have left earlier if we hadn't agreed to meet on Saturday. We spoke on Saturday afternoon about dinner and he said whatever I thought would work for him as far as a place/time. For me it turned out would be a group of 5 incl me. I told him that later on sat eve and he said he didn't realize "it would be all those ppl" and it's true he realized we hadn't discussed that earlier. So I agreed to meet him for a drink after dinner last night around 1130pm till abt 2am. We went to a couple of places and talking was easy (we always got along well before so that hadn't changed) but it was nothing specific. I'm sure hed like to continue with something easy/noncommittal bc he didn't bring up any of that. So for me that's not interesting. He really hasn't done much here but tried to look into tennis lessons etc. Honestly if he had planned better I dont think it would have been so bad. He also wasn't psyched with the cloudy weather. He disliked it enuf that he just left back to ny sun morn (originally he was going to leave Tue). He walked me back to my friend's place after and wisely and esp. after my earlier smackdown on his stockings he didn't try anything but i have to say that I def looked very good. Well always wise in such situations - I could make it my choice if i wanted something i figure. He said see you soon in colder weather. I said sure but you can imagine what I was thinking. After he left town I felt I wanted I wanted to ask why he came to puerto rico. His answer admitted why he thinks he went(he said as far as I'm aware at this point I came because): temp, spanish, tennis, salsa but he also acknowledged that sure he may have had other subconscious reasons too and said one can never know or remember exactly. I guess that seems true/fair. This is happening about 2 weeks since we ended b/c he brought up his historic commitment issues and how he was having doubts. So I just read the writing on the wall. What does he want? What is up with him?
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