What's the Strangest or Dumbest Reason you've ever been broken up with over?

[hoartiosans]

Ok, and this is fine. But is it entirely impossible for one to change? I use to not want to get married at all, and NEVER have kids. But during my relationship it opened my eyes to something greater and I started to realize those things wouldn't seem so bad. I guess I'm disagreeing with you, yeah differences sure but at the same time I still think its possible for people to work this crap out if they truly love each other. Relationships = compromise

NOT the ability to find someone exactly like you. People are unique for a reason.

 

Wow, someone on my side...

 

And my ex though like some of you, several times she tried to quit because things would be complicated and she finally did, she decided, that even though we had loads in common, had great chemistry, never had a disagreement or fight, and even though she loved me and I loved her, that all that mattered was this fantasy she had about marrying a minister. She gave me no chance to be what she wanted, she gave up on our relationship over a fantasy, that's what I think is ridiculous, you're all saying it's not worth trying if they're not perfect, but to me it is. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, and when you really have something, love should be more important than a job title or money or political beliefs or anything like that.

 

Maybe I'm F-ing nuts, but all I need is someone who will be there for me.

[Knight_Ctrl]

Wow, someone on my side...

 

And my ex though like some of you, several times she tried to quit because things would be complicated and she finally did, she decided, that even though we had loads in common, had great chemistry, never had a disagreement or fight, and even though she loved me and I loved her, that all that mattered was this fantasy she had about marrying a minister. She gave me no chance to be what she wanted, she gave up on our relationship over a fantasy, that's what I think is ridiculous, you're all saying it's not worth trying if they're not perfect, but to me it is. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, and when you really have something, love should be more important than a job title or money or political beliefs or anything like that.

 

Maybe I'm F-ing nuts, but all I need is someone who will be there for me.

 

Hell yeah man, true relationships can be a bit of work. Involves compromise and sacrifice sometimes. Seems like your ex and my ex have a lot in common as far as trying to maintain this "what should be" for what can be if one wanted it too be......oh well I guess all that matters is that they DIDN'T want it, broke our hearts and now their worthless. Oh well, we'll find the right one someday.

[alwayssme]

umm...this is typical not weird or funny...but yeah we broke up because he wasn't in it anymore and he lost his butterflies he used to feel for me...after 2 years.....*sigh* it's okay though.

[alwayssme]

actually after reading this thread i agree that you CAN know too many differences after a few dates...that's how i judge...i'm sorry but even if i liked someone and saw we had different morals, i would not want to go further with them...

 

here's an example..i met this guy i was very attracted to...he told me he has one night stands and doesnt really care about getting to know who he's sleeping with....to me that was a major turn off...i come from a different culture and i strongly dont believe in that....i have friends who think that way and thats cool, im open minded in a way, but when it comes to my SO, i want him to be compatible with me. The hard part is when they were compatible then they change...that hurts but it happens too.

[Star Gazer]

I just think it should be more than just deciding it's not going to work, then actually seeing if it will, seems like an awful waste of love.

 

When you realize it's not going to work, moving on isn't a waste of love, it's preventing a waste of time.

 

None of you agree with me, I get that and I can see why you feel that way, I just care more about if their interested in confiding in me, or talking about their day, than I am them being interested in politics or fashion or whatever other crap you can name off, I'm not looking for a pal, and there are things I won't bend for and that I wouldn't be with someone over, I just like to give them a chance to prove me wrong, I wouldn't ever let it go on and on though. I just feel I CANNOT, KNOW, For sure, that this person can't be what I need in a week.

 

Go ahead, tell me I'm an idiot now.

 

You're an idiot. JK.

 

This is why you don't get it. See, I used politics as an example, because intellectual curiosity - like discussing politics - is important TO ME. If someone identifies themselves as having no interest in that, then BAM! I know right then and that that it CANNOT work, period.

 

You, on the other hand, have expressed what's important TO YOU: having someone that will confide in you, talk to you about their day, etc. Well, say you go on a date and the person just doesn't care to talk much? They're not a good communicator, they just say "yes" and "no" and shrug their shoulders when you try to get to know them? Or they tell you that they are intensely private, and like to keep everything to themselves and close to the vest? That not even their closest friends and family know them because they just don't like to share?

 

THAT person is clearly not someone who YOU, specifically, are compatible with.

 

We each have our own needs and wants. If/when someone shows you in the early stages that they will not meet your own needs and wants, there is simply NO POINT in continuing on.

 

Ok, and this is fine. But is it entirely impossible for one to change? I use to not want to get married at all, and NEVER have kids. But during my relationship it opened my eyes to something greater and I started to realize those things wouldn't seem so bad.

 

This is ridiculous.

 

If I want to get married and have kids someday, why on Earth would I date someone who told me that he never wanted to marry or have children?

 

You're not honestly advocating that when someone specifically tells you that they are absolutely not what you need, that you should wait around in the hopes that they will change, do you?

 

Perhaps this is where YOUR problem lies. You're waiting around for people to change!

 

yeah differences sure but at the same time I still think its possible for people to work this crap out if they truly love each other.

 

This obviously presupposes that the person you're dating LOVES you. Real love doesn't come easily.

[Template]

My ex dumped me because I called her an "Evil ****ing Bitch" because she didn't want to take me to the Emergency Room when I was profusely bleeding from the back of my throat.

[kizik]

Dumping someone for not taking you to the ER is sensible. Dumping them for saying Evil F-ing Bitch, is not sensible.

[pandagirl]

I think no matter what reason someone gives you, ultimately, it just means this person doesn't want to be with you -- good reason or stupid reason.

 

For instance, one guy said we have "crucial personality differences," and noted my liking of pop culture as the number 1 thing. True, I like pop culture, but I also read a lot, follow politics and love art. So, while it was an unsubstantiated reason, if he really wanted to be with me, he would overlooked this or gotten to know me better to realize otherwise.

 

I would rather just have someone say to me: I just don't want to be with you, rather than give excuses!

[lifesucks2]

My ex accused me of cheating on him because i knew one of his cousins four years ago that was just a friend and i only knew him for a month or two.. he broke up with me over that, stupid excuse.

[Intergalactic]

i don't know if it's being "dumped" exactly because i ended it (after the way he acted) plus it only lasted a month, but the guy i most recently dated told me he didn't think it'd work between us because we "don't think in the same way", we're "different" (OMG REALLY?! PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT??????? NO WAY!!!!!!) and also because i hadn't ASSUMED - like he'd MEANT me to assume - that he'd needed space from me when he told me "i like you so much but i don't want to do long distance but i do want to be with you so i'll call you very soon okay?"

..............

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WANTS SPACE AFTER SAYING HE'D CALL ME AND THAT HE LIKES ME? WHAT, IN THAT SENTENCE, INSINUATES THAT?!

 

WTF HE HAS ISSUES.

[Trialbyfire]

i don't know if it's being "dumped" exactly because i ended it (after the way he acted) plus it only lasted a month, but the guy i most recently dated told me he didn't think it'd work between us because we "don't think in the same way", we're "different" (OMG REALLY?! PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT??????? NO WAY!!!!!!) and also because i hadn't ASSUMED - like he'd MEANT me to assume - that he'd needed space from me when he told me "i like you so much but i don't want to do long distance but i do want to be with you so i'll call you very soon okay?"

..............

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WANTS SPACE AFTER SAYING HE'D CALL ME AND THAT HE LIKES ME? WHAT, IN THAT SENTENCE, INSINUATES THAT?!

 

WTF HE HAS ISSUES.

As a possible explanation, people approach problems or issues or life in general, in a fundamental way. If both people can't understand where the other person's coming from, problems and issues can't be resolved.

[Intergalactic]

As a possible explanation, people approach problems or issues or life in general, in a fundamental way. If both people can't understand where the other person's coming from, problems and issues can't be resolved.

 

that's the thing though... we hadn't actually had a problem seeing where the other person was coming from - until he started to just assume i'd "get" his hidden messages or insinuations in sentences where i'd need a ****ing degree in code-breaking to understand. when we actually took the time to explain things to each other (not for hours, just clearly and to the point), both of us got it. apparently that was too hard though, he needed someone who thought like he did so she'd assume the same things he did and derive the same things from a conversation that he did............................................ i reckon he wants someone who can read his mind