peytonelyse Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Me and a friend of mine was having a conversation about girlfriends/wives. I need opinions from the board: Do you feel that when a man gets a girlfriend, he wants to be her husband? When a man gets a girlfriend, is she always wife-material? When a man gets a girlfriend, is it because this woman may be on his level, once they move up, they get someone that compliments them in those areas? Is it true that men look for women either below them or on the same level as them especially if they are not together in all aspects as a man?
Cherrybomb Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Girlfriend doesn't mean wife. A guy can have a girlfriend, but it doesn't mean he necessarily wants to marry her (yet). I guy can even have sex with a woman yet not consider her a girlfriend. I would expect that most guys should be more committed to a wife for legal and moral reasons. Most men want to marry an intelligent, kind, passionate woman who has a similar background and interests.
fral945 Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Do you feel that when a man gets a girlfriend, he wants to be her husband? When a man gets a girlfriend, is she always wife-material? When a man gets a girlfriend, is it because this woman may be on his level, once they move up, they get someone that compliments them in those areas? Is it true that men look for women either below them or on the same level as them especially if they are not together in all aspects as a man? Generally speaking, I'd say: No. No. Maybe. Don't really completely understand the question. Yes. And for women the opposite is true, they always look above or on the same level.
Author peytonelyse Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 Generally speaking, I'd say: Maybe. Don't really completely understand the question.. Say for instance, he has no car, no job, but wants companionship, he gets a girlfriend with no car, a part time job and the relationship requires no work, more of "hanging out everyday, talking on the phone, and saying "i love yous" no real work. He then years later, becomes CEO of a company, gets a PHD, and has three cars in his 5 bedroom residential home and wants stability and now a fulfilling relationship, now ready to settle down. Does he stay with the woman that now has a car, still a part time job, and completely happy with where she is? Or does he go and get someone more on his level?
Author peytonelyse Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 Girlfriend doesn't mean wife. A guy can have a girlfriend, but it doesn't mean he necessarily wants to marry her (yet). I guy can even have sex with a woman yet not consider her a girlfriend. I would expect that most guys should be more committed to a wife for legal and moral reasons. Most men want to marry an intelligent, kind, passionate woman who has a similar background and interests. Which brings her to her other question. Then why do men make women their girlfriends if they have no intentions of marrying her? *She was with a guy for thirteen years, he broke up with her, and he is now trying to pursue his best friend, in which she knew about but she was just under the impression that was just his best friend. She has always been stable, hes always been unstable, as soon as he reached all of of his goals, he said they werent working out and low and behold he is now with best friend. Shes hurt and doesnt understand why he was with her for four years if he had no intention of being with her and if he wanted to be with his best friend, why wasnt he with her in the first place?
carhill Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 The best friend was married Seriously, there are as many answers as there are men, regardless of relationship status, so get out your pad and count to 3 billion. Personally, I'd never seriously date a woman whom I wasn't serious about having a LTR with or being married to. I'd rather be alone, and was for many years before getting married. OK, that's three billion minus one
movingonandon Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Which brings her to her other question. Then why do men make women their girlfriends if they have no intentions of marrying her? easy: companionship, sex, hanging out, enjoying each other's company and different activities together. No need to even have the intention to marry. Marriage involves way more risk, so it must be worth it to take it. Just having a pleasant companion is not sufficient. Marriage is only in the cards (for me, as a guy), when I have no doubts whatsoever about the stability of her character and I'm pretty sure that she is going to be a reliable partner and a good mom that will always put the relationship first. I'm not going to marry any girlfriend just because "she wants to get married" or "it's time to get married" - i don't care. But, it doesn't mean that I'll stay away from having a girlfriend - it's a valuable experience, and one of the girlfriends *might* become my wife. If the story with the guy you mention is true, he probablly just didn't love her if he dumped her after such a long time, "finally" given the opportunity. This is a timely thread for me, because I always feel too much implicit pressure regarding "possible marriage"/getting serious each and every time I have a girlfriend. This does not acomplish anything other than make me even more paranoid about marriage. And that's coming from a guy that *wants* to get married.
bobdole Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Do you feel that when a man gets a girlfriend, he wants to be her husband? I don't personally date(well, someone I declare a gf) anyone I couldn't envision one day being married to. When a man gets a girlfriend, is she always wife-material? Until I find out otherwise yes. Thats the point of the relationship to me, to see if shes marriable. When a man gets a girlfriend, is it because this woman may be on his level, once they move up, they get someone that compliments them in those areas? Don't quite understand this. You meaning, if the man gets a big promotion or something and is "out of sync with his current gf's paygrade" and he'll look for someone else closer to him? If so, then defintely no. Thats kinda retarded. Is it true that men look for women either below them or on the same level as them especially if they are not together in all aspects as a man? Again confused by your question. "Same level" means what? intelligence? paygrade? complexity of job? creativity?
Trialbyfire Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Do you feel that when a man gets a girlfriend, he wants to be her husband? Not necessarily. When a man gets a girlfriend, is she always wife-material? Not necessarily. When a man gets a girlfriend, is it because this woman may be on his level, once they move up, they get someone that compliments them in those areas? Not necessarily. Is it true that men look for women either below them or on the same level as them especially if they are not together in all aspects as a man? Not necessarily.
serial muse Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Do you feel that when a man gets a girlfriend, he wants to be her husband? Not necessarily. When a man gets a girlfriend, is she always wife-material? Not necessarily. When a man gets a girlfriend, is it because this woman may be on his level, once they move up, they get someone that compliments them in those areas? Not necessarily. Is it true that men look for women either below them or on the same level as them especially if they are not together in all aspects as a man? Not necessarily. Yes, I think that about sums it up! Carhill said something similar - there are probably as many answers for these questions as there are men.
carhill Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Uncertainty is so attractive OP, perhaps some further reflection on this thread would be helpful... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t175241/
Author peytonelyse Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 Uncertainty is so attractive OP, perhaps some further reflection on this thread would be helpful... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t175241/ Thats my situation that has been dropped. We are just friends, thats all we've ever been. My friend I feel for her...13 years is a while to be with someone, and then gets dumped out of the blue.
carhill Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 I was indicating that reflecting upon one's own psychology, relevant to another relationship, can be helpful, even for someone who is obviously a valuable friend to both parties indicated here and in the other thread. LS is nothing if not a valuable mirror into ourselves
Author peytonelyse Posted January 16, 2009 Author Posted January 16, 2009 I was indicating that reflecting upon one's own psychology, relevant to another relationship, can be helpful, even for someone who is obviously a valuable friend to both parties indicated here and in the other thread. LS is nothing if not a valuable mirror into ourselves Yeah, sadly, Ive told her what i thought, but she is on the hurt ferris wheel right now
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