Knight_Ctrl Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 For no reason at all. I woke up today feeling extremely lonely dare I say more lonely than I have in the last 2 months....Everyone is irritating me, I just don't want to be around anyone. I'm sitting here at the front desk at work fighting back tears that are seeming to come from no where. I'm sure its because I know at any moment now my ex is going to come waltzing through the door.....but I had another thread for that.....I don't know why I suddenly feel this way......feels just like the early days of the breakup.......
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Don't worry. This isn't the first or last time you'll feel like this, I'm sure. It's only common, you have nothing to worry about. It probably has something to do with what you dreamt about last night. (Something you may not remember). In about 2 months, these feelings should be MUCH less frequent. In 4 months, you should be 10x stronger than you ever were.
lonelygurl Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 I understand how you feel and I think it is part of the normal grieving process. I was like that yesterday. I was so angry with everyone including my X. I felt like I could harm him in so many ways I could think of. Everyone was getting on my nerves and I wanted to be alone. Is there any way you can excuse yourself for a few moments when your X comes waltzing through the door? Are there any co-workers that can support that or help you out??? Like a washroom break or something? Your X is being very cruel and getting what she wants by getting a reaction. I can't begin to imagine how hard this must be for you. I used to get sick just driving by places my X and I went to. Can you just try to ignore her when she shows up?
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 When she just randomly showed up on monday I took my break and went out to my car. She came out and briefly waved to me. I drove away. I've been told that I'm letting her win by having this reaction of running and worrying....but I think self preservation is more important than "winning this battle".....I don't care anymore......all I wanted was to get her back, and no matter how much I lie to myself and tell myself I don't I guess I do.........I know I can't get her back, and I know I can't even if she wanted to now.....I just want to avoid seeing her, thinking about her, or anything with her. And now she's doing this........I'm gonna go cry in the restroom for a while, ****ing pathetic.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Hell no it's not pathetic. For God's sake, all anyone does anymore is lie to make themselves look good. I hate half the people on this forum because they act like they don't care/it's a laughing matter, yet they're ON HERE POSTING. If you're fine, then why are you on this forum, idiots? Or they act like it's the other persons fault. Or they lie in this or that way. At least you have the STRENGTH to ADMIT you're crying and NOT ok. You're being REAL. For God's sake I'd give ANYTHING to witness more people being REAL. That's what we need. We need more people like you who are REAL. That way I won't have to go around using my psychological knowledge as a weapon to knock through peoples fronting/idiocy.
lonelygurl Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 You are not pathetic! I think it is good that you can go and cry. I really don't understand why our society has built up this notion that men can't have feelings like women. There is nothing wrong with avoiding her if that is what you need to do. If you need to go cry then do it and let it out. Don't worry about what other's think or if your being "manly" enough. That is all a load of bull. I think somewhere along the line the bullies and jocks started this being a man. It is really sad...I still see parents (men) of my kids friends pulling the same garbage and it seems to be the sports guys more so then others.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 You're right, both of you. I need to do what I need to do, and if that means sitting in the restroom crying or going the stairwell to cry. I think I'm just to hard on myself, expecting to much. DSM you are the ****ing man. People do need to be real, I think too that people not being real causes a lot of these problems in the first place. If everyone were more on the level and we could just be honest with ourselves as well as each other we could filter out an awful lot of BS and get right to the core of a lot of issues. I am not over my ex I would LOVE to be over my ex I am terrified that she is going to walk in that door. But as much as I miss her I WILL NOT GET BACK TOGETHER WITH HER.
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 hi knight, i hope you're ok. i was going to start a thread along the same lines today, you got there first! i'm just over 2 months out of my first relationship now...........and while i know i'm beginning to feel better................today has been really sh*t! i've been crying too. i'm applying for work............something i had been talking about doing in the few months before relationship ended. i've been putting it on hold for a number of reasons. thought it would be good to distract me today.............except it's literally stuffing envelopes which is just passive...........not keeping the old brain active enough. when i was applying for work before the split, i was applying in a town closer to where my ex lives, for that reason, because it was closer even though we're only an hour away from each other. now i'm applying for another city 3 hours away, where lots of my friends from college are still based. i went to college there. it's not my favourite place in the world, but it's where most of my friends are now, and i need that. as well as needing to get out on my own again, been living at home for a few months now. but all i could think about was how it doesn't feel right to be applying where i am now................because for such a long time i'd been planning to be nearer to him. and because that's what i'd thought for so long, i still feel i should be applying near him. even though i know that couldn't be more wrong, it's just my mindset. but it's been upsetting. and stressful. and the more stressed i get about it, the more i want his support. which i can't expect or ask for. i've convinced myself i want him back again. even though it's all out of my hands. i feel for you knight. don't be hard on yourself. cry if that's what you have to do. i think it's really crap what your ex is doing and you deserve better. been following your posts here for the last while too. i hope things get better for you.
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Exactly knight youre the ****in man too. It's such truth. People you need to look at knight, who isn't trying to front and act cool and like he's above all this ****. He admits he's in ****in HELL and what he is doing despite it and as a result of it. You all need to take a lesson from him... that way I won't have to use the DSM-IV to make your lives hell.
LostLamb Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Cry if you feel the need. We are on this forum because we are in pain and suffering. I still miss my ex even though he now has someone new,I can pretend I am happy but where does that get you in the end? I have never felt pain like this in my life , not even when I was ill in hospital. I feel worse now than 2 months ago but we have to belive one day we won't hurt as much as we do now. I hope that day comes for you soon
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Lamb is also being real. This topic is officially the GET REAL topic.
hoartiosans Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 For no reason at all. I woke up today feeling extremely lonely dare I say more lonely than I have in the last 2 months....Everyone is irritating me, I just don't want to be around anyone. I'm sitting here at the front desk at work fighting back tears that are seeming to come from no where. I'm sure its because I know at any moment now my ex is going to come waltzing through the door.....but I had another thread for that.....I don't know why I suddenly feel this way......feels just like the early days of the breakup....... I'm feeling the same way recently, I've been wanting her back, missing her, even praying to god to change things...but I know she is officially nutter butters, and I want nothing to do with her. Bonus for me though, I feel pitiful and hate myself for being so upset over a one month old relationship, we've been broken up for almost as long as we we're together, and I start hating myself for feeling this way, but I've accepted that it's all natural, and I likely feel this way because she was my first. What gets me through the day though is the belief there is some girl out there who will make me happier than I would have ever been with her. That may not be any help to you since, I think we're on totally different levels, but I feel for you.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 You know what guys? I would drive an extra 15 mins out of the way to get into town so I don't have to drive by her work. And I started crying the other day when someone brought up great danes (the dog) ex had one....just about anything can set me off.
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 i'm the same knight. i heard the song "american boy" today and i was back dancing with him. which i loved so much. and i started to cry. i feel for you. i don't think i'll cry next time i hear it though. it's weird, like something happens once, reminds me of my ex, and i cry, but next time, it's ok. i hope the next time you see a great dane you'll be ok!
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Join the club. I didn't wanna watch ANY movie that I saw with my ex while we were dating... like the dark knight, hitchcock, etc. I couldn't even look at any girl without being reminded of my ex. Whenever ANYONE would say "female" or talk about a "girl", my mind always put my ex in that place. It ****ing sucked. But then I got a new gf. Now I'm back to normal.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 someone here at work just said something about best friends, and I almost lost it.....I use to have a best friend...I would have shared anything with her. Done anything, I would have gotten married to her, raised a family. Things I NEVER wanted my whole life until I met her, and when I told her how my feelings on those things were changing, she got mad because she thought I was changing for her....which I was, just not in the context I was putting it...we just can't win guys.
LostLamb Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 I didn't want children until I met my ex. The week before we broke up we were discussing baby names and he was my best friend , now I have nothing and am back to square one. I wish I could have all memories of him removed from my brain. What makes it worse id that he is happy . with someone new yet I am still sad and can't even look at a new man.
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 we'd made jokes about home schooling our kids. didn't name them though! we were planning to travel next year. we were saving money and talked about where we'd go. i know i can still do that alone. but not having him to share it with...................i'm not so interested anymore. all those places we were going to see.................i imagine him there with me.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 If anything at least I've learned something.....now I know I'm capable of wanting to get married and stuff, I can't go back to how I was and say I'll never want that.....not sure if learning stuff was worth the hurt though.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 And I just found out that the girl I've been into recently that I've been hanging out with probably doesn't want to get together with me.......I can't win fellas....
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 sorry to hear that knight chin up, there'll be someone else. only guy i've been attracted to since break up, actually looks a lot like my ex............is engaged! it's poo.
Author Knight_Ctrl Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 and just now, my ex walked in the door....
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 duuuuuuude...........please stay calm and don't act hastily. i know i don't normally advocate this attitude, but given the way she's been treating you, is there anyway you can put your head down at your computer and pretend you don't see her? unless you point blank absolutely have to talk to her...........
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