rod_in_gtown Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Well, you are the man, you're supposed to be the chaser. It definitely sucks but don't let a little thing of how you perceive her ruin your stride, I've been on dates with friends and have found myself paying more attention to my friends over my "date". This does not mean I'm not interested in her, I find it that "they" want to see how I behave on a group scenario and if I'm clingy and needy it might turn them off. Always making sure I make plans alone with them when not on a group thing. That way you can both focus on each other. Ask her out to dinner or coffee or something BEFORE the next group outing. It doesn't have to be an all out date but some quality time between you two could be the right thing to do to see if she is interested in something more than just friends.
Green Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Seriously any time your afraid to do something like ask her out or kiss her she is just going to be more scared then you. Girls are rarely going to make the first move or ask you out. Why oh why didn't you give her a kiss on the lips? The kiss on the lips is whats going to get you the good vibes... be confident and all your problems will go away... just ask yourself if I wasn't afraid would I kiss her? If I wasn't afraid would I ask her out and chase her more? there is no such thing as the friendzone by the way, friendzone is something guys who never have the balls to try anything claim they are in. You're not going to be able to conversate the girl into liking you... you have to be romantic, bold, confident... funny helps too
Author purpledevil Posted January 18, 2009 Author Posted January 18, 2009 Yes, I'm starting to get the big picture, this is my first time really dating a girl, so I am clearly bad at judging and doing. I really need to work on my self confidence, and being the man more, being more decisive and acting on my intentions alot more. I just sent her a text saying I had fun, hows her weekend going etc, we will see where it goes, I will try to get her out to the movies or something before she goes to Queensland in 3 days and make my move for a kiss. Unless I get totally rejected by text or something. I was not the most confident, entertaining person the other night because of the bad vibes, I retreated into my head a bit but I think I salvaged it ok. We will see, I hope I havn't screwed the pooch. It is funny my mate went out with a girl last night, he's much more experienced, he kissed her 20 minutes into the movie they were seeing (first date), and I've been out with this girl 4 times, made me feel ashamed. Edit: The movies is a no go because she is booked until after her trip is over. I have invited her over for dinner and a movie after she gets back, this will provoke an answer one way or another, if I get her to come over, I have foresee no issues showing her how I feel.
Viking Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 While she's gone, learn a "stupid human trick" that will make her laugh. Whether it is a basic magic trick or what have you, get something down pat that can make you be seen as funny and cool. http://revision3.com/scamschool/theheist There are plenty here: http://revision3.com/scamschool/ Man, Aussie girls are hot. Wish I was down under. When I read your topic, I thought, how would I go about kissing a girl I liked. The best thing I can say is that, when you get her alone, put your arm around her and do it. Not too fast and not too slow. Maybe under a streetlight or something like that? Good luck, I would also like to hear how best to go about this!
rod_in_gtown Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 While she's gone, learn a "stupid human trick" that will make her laugh. Whether it is a basic magic trick or what have you, get something down pat that can make you be seen as funny and cool. http://revision3.com/scamschool/theheist There are plenty here: http://revision3.com/scamschool/ Man, Aussie girls are hot. Wish I was down under. When I read your topic, I thought, how would I go about kissing a girl I liked. The best thing I can say is that, when you get her alone, put your arm around her and do it. Not too fast and not too slow. Maybe under a streetlight or something like that? Good luck, I would also like to hear how best to go about this! I just spent about 3 hours watching scam school. That was so funny! I love "the race" I think I'm going to use it.
Hersheys Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Try to summon every courage you have to ask her out on a one on one date. At this point that is the only way you can get her alone and tell her what you really want. You do not want to get friendzoned but why do you keep on agreeing to these friendly outings with her with a bunch of people you barely know. Of course you will be uncomfortable. Don't wait for her to contact you. Ask her (only her!) out on a date. If she insists on bringing her friends AGAIN, best thing to do is to decline, be honest and tell her that you really would preferit if only you two could go out. The more you agree on hanging out with her friends or her with your friends sends a signal to her that it's alright with you being "just friends"! Good luck!
Author purpledevil Posted January 18, 2009 Author Posted January 18, 2009 Unfortunately I fear it's too late, that I've given off the wrong impression and that she's no longer interested. I did summon the courage and the will to ask her out one last time. I asked if she was free before she goes to QLD she is not, so I open-endly asked her if she would like to come over again for dinner and a movie like we had planned before after QLD. She has since not replied at all which I guess says everything. I have learned alot thanks to the advice given here, I should have told her I was busy on the group outings and tried to reschedule one on one time, not doing the group outings until the kiss. I should have just bloody kissed her at some point instead of not acting through my intentions and not being the man. Its a damn shame because I really liked this girl, but now she has shown a new side ignoring my message completely and I just don't know. I value honesty and thought we were a bit beyond ignoring each other. So now the ball is in her court, and there is still a part of me that hopes she will remember we did have some good times and talks, but oh well. I think its starting to be time to move on... On the bright side lots of other girls out there and experiences to be had, in the end this is just one Too bad I'm not the best at meeting new women.
likestolaugh Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 If a girl just stops responding to me... it pisses you off at first... but then you realize that that's an incredibly immature way to handle things... and that you'd probably be better off without such a person anyway.
Green Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 you shouldn't have turned down the group outings... you just should have kissed her. Dude don't give up on her I personaly keep asking out girls untill they tell me "No, never, Don't call anymore" ... anyways don't make her your only option... go out there and have conversations with other girls and be asking other girls out to dinner or the beach or what ever
Author purpledevil Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 Yep, it's time to start looking for other women. I can understand chasing until you get the "dont call me anymore" but when she starts to ignore me completely, instead of just giving me an honest answer. It makes it a little easier for my perception of her to lose value. There is either no real interest because she has ignored my invite to do something just the two of us completely or she is thinking about what to do. Either way I don't like that she is ignoring me so time to move on, there will be others no harm done. If I do hear from her again we will see, I will tell her that I am not happy with the way she acted but we may still end up being friends or nothing at all. I appreciate all the advice, especially Green, your "aggressive" advice is an interesting perspective on everything haha.
Green Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 well heres the great thing a about if you had been agressive... I gaurantee you would have got to kiss her! so even if you were in the same position you are in now you'd have some fond make out sessions to look back on... plus theres a good chance she wouldn't be tired of you now if you had kissed her. seriously its a true thing that girls will respect a guy who is out front and asks them out and then you get double respect if you atleast try and kiss them... if they are not ready to kiss you they will quickly move their head and you'll hit their cheek... so never again man with all the cheek kissing and hugging... go for the lip kiss first date... they'll only respect you when your confident in yourself....
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