disorientedgirl Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Well, here's my story. I'm not an attractive woman. I'm not ugly either, and my body is fine. But my face is kind of average I guess. All my life I feel like I've missed out. Growing up guys ignored me. I'm in my twenties now, and nothing has changed. It's not often that a guy pays any attention to me. The few times in my life that guys have shown interest, they were guys I wasn't interested in. I feel like such a hypocrite, but most of the the guys were very overweight or unattractive. I don't want to be superficial, but I just didn't feel any attraction whatsoever no matter how hard I tried. In some cases I even agreed to relationships with these men hoping the feelings would grow, but they never did. I liked them as friends, but physically I couldn't get aroused. The relationships fizzled. Meanwhile I would pine for men who would never give me the time of day. I tried to put myself out there a few times and make the first move, but it failed. The sad thing is my standards aren't even high. There are so many guys I find appealing; they just never express interest in me. I guess being in my situation has made me realize how superficial people are, even myself. I have a lot of positive personality traits -- I'm smart, funny, kind -- but none of this seems to matter to men. They never take the time to get to know me, even when I try to approach them or reach out. The fact that I'm shy doesn't help, but I do make a real effort to be friendly. Sometimes I am so miserable because I feel like I'll have to settle for somebody I don't love or live the rest of my life alone. In my darkest moments I've even considered ending my life. Whenever I hear a guy saying how in love he is with such and such girl it breaks my heart because I know I'll never know what it feels like to be that girl. Just to know what it was like for a moment, I'd kill for that. My only hope is getting plastic surgery. I've been saving up money for years here and there, but still I don't have enough. At this point I'm considering taking out a loan, but I'm scared of getting into debt. Yet I also feel like time is precious. I don't want to piss away my youth and lose the one chance I have. Is it worth it?
D-Lish Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 What is it you want to change about your face??? Is it Rhinoplasty you are thinking of?
Author disorientedgirl Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 What is it you want to change about your face??? Is it Rhinoplasty you are thinking of? There are bunch of things that bother me. My jaw is kind of a weird shape (like my dad's)...it's too large and I have a slight underbite. I know there's a surgery to fix this, but it's expensive so I'd need the loan for that. My cheeks are flat, so I was thinking about some kind of implants, and my lips are thin. Also, my nose is a bit too large, but it's not the main thing. I have nice eyes, but overall my face is kind of masculine looking. I think that with the right surgery I could be attractive -- not super, but enough. I hate having my picture taken. I feel like my face doesn't reflect who I am on the inside at all.
zenith Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 OK make sure you get breast augmentation too I like them big
prettybaby Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Have you ever looked into advanced makeup techniques? It sounds stupid, but makeup really does wonders. Especially if you use contouring techniques and highlights certain parts. I don't know if you've ever seen any shows like this; but there's one guy (his name escapes me) who basically comes on stage and impersonates all kinds of celebrities. He doesn't alter his face in any way; all he uses is strong contrasts in his contouring makeup, and it literally changes the shape of his face, it's crazy lol Of course, that's totally extreme and it only looks good on a brightly lit stage. However, you can apply those same techniques and achieve some pretty cool differences. It is actually often used to alter the perceived shape of the jaw, nose, cheeks. I would definitely play around with that before going through any surgery. How's your hair? Do you fix it up nicely? How about your clothes? Every little bit helps with confidence Because I sense that all you really lack is just that: self-confidence.
quankanne Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 I think prettybaby's got some great suggestions – before you make the irreversible (and expensive!) decision to go under the knife, try other ways to alter or enhance your appearance. other suggestion is gonna sound corny, but you're going to have to learn to love and accept yourself in order for others to truly accept you. People with negative self-image give off a lot of negative vibes, and subsequently, no one wants to be with them. Some of the people I've been attracted to (male and women I find fascinating) aren't what people would normally consider classically good-looking or attractive, but something about their personality "made" them incredibly attractive.
flc Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 In many cases the issues are not really physical but more about self confidence which plays such a large role in relationships. If getting the surgery will make you feel better and more confident about yourself you will see results but unless you really have some physical issues it will be a result of how you feel about yourself rather than how you look.
Enema Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 You see some pretty terrible looking people with attractive partners. The problem isn't your looks... it's probably your self confidence and how your project yourself.
Isolde Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Do you know how many people on this board who self-describe as attractive have had bad luck with relationships? Do you know how many women also fear they'll have to settle for someone they're not attracted to? Being average looking doesn't make you less likely to find a long term partner, since you say you'd be willing to give lots of guys a chance. Plastic surgery is supposed to make YOU happy--unless that's your primary reason for doing it, your feelings most likely won't change. I also recommend choosing just one surgery. You don't want people to not recognize you, and you most likely don't want to feel too fake. Cheek implants and lip injections generally don't look good and makeup can help with those areas. How about just doing a jaw refinement?
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