This is mostly to inspire confidence, but your thoughts are appreciated

[hoartiosans]

Hey there...

 

If you know who I am you know, my first girlfriend broke up with me about month ago (and we only dated a month), it was out of the blue, and her reason kind of hurt me, so with all that in mind, I have been a little slow in getting over her (probably either because she was my first, or because I have had almost nothing to do since I've been home from college since Dec 10th, and she broke up with me 5 days later) and I think I'm starting to feel like I am over her though. Anyway, I go back Sunday, I'm terrified about seeing her when I go back, but I think I'm ready to start thinking about dating other girls, but I still miss her sometimes and am definitely still furious with her, but I have no real desire to be with her anymore, anyway, do you think I am ready? I mean I know only I know how I really feel, but I have so little experience with dating, I don't know how to feel about this, I want to move on, but I also don't want to fall into a rebound and just F myself up even more.

 

I'd really like some help from you guys with more experience to quell some fears, ya know?

[kizik]

How, exactly, does this thread inspire confidence?

 

... I think I'm starting to feel like I am over her though. Anyway, I go back Sunday, I'm terrified about seeing her when I go back

 

If you're "terrified" of seeing her - you are not over her. If you are "still furious" with her - you are not over her. As many wise LS-ers have noted: the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference. When you think of her, when you think of her f*cking someone else, when she pops into your brain and pops right out in a second - and you're left with the strange feeling of not caring about her - you're getting to the point of being over her.

 

As far as dating other girls, you're waaay ahead of yourself. No offense, but I don't imagine hoards of girls knocking down your door. So you saying you want to date but don't know if you should is like me saying, "I'm going to win the lottery, how should I spend the money?" You need to take things as they come. Me, I've been single for 8 months now. Been in and out of wanting to date. Tried frantically to date after the breakup. But hey, right now is not my time, and I accept that.

 

My friend, you sound like a mess of emotions. No potential girl deserves to deal with your emotions, and you still being hung up on the ex. So, No, you should not be dating.

 

PS. anyone who tells you the best way to get over someone is to get with someone new is a co-dependent retard.

[hoartiosans]

As far as dating other girls, you're waaay ahead of yourself. No offense, but I don't imagine hoards of girls knocking down your door. So you saying you want to date but don't know if you should is like me saying, "I'm going to win the lottery, how should I spend the money?" You need to take things as they come.

 

Haha, yeah it kinda sounded that way didn't it, believe me I'm not planning on having instant success or even success the rest of this semester, I just hope that I don't linger on my feelings about her like I've done before. And I feel like I'm hating her less and less, I mean tried to tell myself hating her is my way of getting over her knowing full well I can't hate after how much I cared about her. I'm am just now starting to feel like I don't care at all about what's she's thinking or doing, but admittedly I do still think about her longingly from time to time.

[kizik]

I just hope that I don't linger on my feelings about her like I've done before.

 

Linger all you want, dude. Let it all out. Think about her, cry, try to make sense of it. Don't suppress your emotions.

 

But when it does come time to date, whatever you do, don't mention your ex. It's a big turnoff for a girl to find out you're still hung up on someone who left you.

[hoartiosans]

It's a big turnoff for a girl to find out you're still hung up on someone who left you.

 

Oh yeah, my ex talked about her exes all the time...it was kinda weird, kinda makes me wonder sometimes if I was a rebound.

 

...try to make sense of it...

 

Another annoying thing is her reason made absolutely no sense at all, it was almost insulting how ridiculous it was to me, she just woke up one morning (literally) and decided she "needed" to marry a minister, so less than a day after saying she loved me, she dumped me. Wow, talk about setback, I think I'm starting to realize I'm not over it...crap...

 

Oh and btw, the inspiring confidence thing, yeah that was stupid, I meant I was trying to inspire myself with confidence (You don't know me, I am kind a pessimist the main reason I didn't have a girlfriend until college is because I would always talk myself out of asking a girl out.)

[DSM-IV Tom]

Why is kizik saying what he's saying about how he can't imagine girls knocking down hoarts door?

 

What the hell's so hard about pulling a new girl?

 

I had no trouble finding many girls when I looked. The trouble was picking the RIGHT one out of the bunch. Why couldn't he do the same?

[kizik]

Hey Tom you stud,

 

good for you. I hope there are enough hours in the day to admire your reflection in the pool and bang the bejesus out of co-eds. Funny, though, how such a Don Juan spends more time on the Internet than me.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Lmao I deserved that.

[kizik]

What the hell's so hard about pulling a new girl?

 

Nothing... as long as I follow your rohypnol method, right? As soon as they go to the bathroom... tap, tap, tap! right into their gin and tonic.

[DSM-IV Tom]

You speak from experience kizik? Were you the one who did the drugging or the one who woke up the next morning after it?

[kizik]

I don't know, remember when you invited me over last week, "to talk"? Well, my butthole was sore the morning after, and I have only you to blame.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Damnit... wasn't counting on you to put two and two together.

 

Hey bud, don't call the cops. I'll take you out to a movie and we can get proper.

[kizik]

Haha, sounds good. Before I get yet another LS infraction, though, I want to give this thread back to the OP. OP, your ex woke up one day and realized she wanted to marry a minister?! The more that you think about what this crazy broad did, the angrier you will hopefully get... at which point you can safely remove the rose-colored glasses and see her fickle a$$ for what it truly is. Fickle, selfish, and not giving a damn about you and how you feel.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Lmao kizik I like the way you post. We should make an LS team at this point

[kizik]

I will sum up my feelings for you, Tom, with this quote. Paul Rudd to Seth Rogen, "Knocked Up":

 

"I like the way you move."

[hoartiosans]

OP, your ex woke up one day and realized she wanted to marry a minister?! The more that you think about what this crazy broad did, the angrier you will hopefully get... at which point you can safely remove the rose-colored glasses and see her fickle a$$ for what it truly is. Fickle, selfish, and not giving a damn about you and how you feel.

 

Yeah, She did. I'm not entirely sure I believe her. And those rose colored glasses came of about a week ago, but every now and then I wish things could of been different and we could still be together, but I know that wouldn't be good for me even if the offer was on the table. Believe me, I now appreciate her craziness (Thank you Tom for helping me realize that), and I pray to god she stays away from me!