confusedandempty Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 We met at a school program last summer which lasted for few weeks. We hung out for few days and everything seemed to be going quite well, but I didn't want it to become serious as she lives far away. Still we hung out for most of the summer and we got to know each other very well. She's a good girl and an excellent gf material so I didn't wanna just sleep with her and nothing more. We speak occasionally together, mostly on AOL where she's usually kind of flirty ("really miss you" stuff etc.). However I think AOL is really impersonal and boring, so I try not to use it too much. We occasionally send each other Facebook comments and that is my way to stay in touch. Though it is impersonal as well, it is better than nothing and we're not on the "call" basis. Her messages tend to be quite flirty sometimes. I have lived in a major city for all my life and I once asked "How can you live in such a small city". She answered "You'll just have to come and see how beautiful it is." Few days back I received a message from her on Facebook and my best friend even said: "This girl is really hitting on you" ... I guess I'm too blind to see it. She comes occasionally to my city, maybe three times since last summer. But she's never had any contact before coming here. 1. First time she came I heard about her in the town (mutual friend), she didn't answer my text message until the morning after. At least apologized. 2. Second time I called her friend to find out where they were. I had two more drinks with my friends (mistake) and then I went to meet them, but they were gone. I called her and she had went to her sisters home. 3. Third time was last weekend. I knew she was in town, but I was not gonna initiate any contact. However I met her on the street while I was bar hopping with my friends. Unfortunately it was 5 in the morning and we couldn't chat a lot. But chatted for 5 minutes (we kept our friends waiting in 27° for that time). Now I just received a Facebook message where she says "It was soooo good to meet you last weekend, and she complemented my hair". Well. I don't know to do. I have found out that I like this girl a lot more than I thought. I know I made the right choice, could never handle a LDR. But still I like her so much that I fell a sleep with a photo of her on my screen last night. But there are two things bothering me. a) Lives far away, no airports. b) She recently changed her Facebook status. Not single anymore but not "in a relationship". At least not yet. She lives in a reeeaaally small town where everybody knows everybody and I doubt that she has a boyfriend there, might be an old ex though. Don't know. Doubt that she has a boyfriend in my city, as she was online on Sunday morning after partying (6 am). Kind of hoping that it's just to get rid of random adds from guys. But I don't know. This is so sickening position to be in. To like someone so much that you would probably click if you lived near each other, but we don't. Has anyone been in this position before and can recommend anything to me??
audrey_1 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I have been in the LDR situation several times, through different circumstances. It is very, very difficult, and if one person isn't committed to making it work, it won't. You have to be extremely secure and communicate openly and as often as you're both comfortable with to avoid creating paranoia - and actually HEARING the other person's voice is better. Not emails or text messages. I recommend you either let it go, as you already stated you know you made the right choice, or step up the communication and see how she feels, since it seems she is sending signals in this regard. None of my LDRs worked out; I am single. This is not the end result in all cases, but the real chances of LDRs working out is in the minority. Good luck.
Author confusedandempty Posted January 16, 2009 Author Posted January 16, 2009 Hey thanks for the advice. I guess I knew it the whole time that those were the only two options I really had. However I find it kind of weird that she sounds so flirty often when we chat, but still doesn't call or send me a text when she's in town. Of course she has limited amount of time and all her best friends life here. There is one more thing that I would like to know your opinion about. The Facebook status. I have no idea how it is to be a good looking girl on Facebook. Do you, girls, have your correct status if you are single or do you just leave it empty to get rid of flirting and random adds? There are about 1-2 months since she changed her status to "not listed as single" to nothing. But she hasn't changed to to "in a relationship" either. And I can't see no especial guy in her photo albums. God, I'm overanalyzing again
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