foxh1234 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Hi everyone. I saw my ex today at the mall for the first time in months. The last time I saw her I was putting her in her car and she was crying and was very upset. I have thought about her quite a bit since then and seeing her today brought back some of the pain. The main point I wanted to make was looking at her today it was the first time I realized that the girl I loved is long gone. The woman in front of me was a stranger that I did not really know anymore. I thought I would have more to say to her but I couldn't muster much of anything. It wasn't that I was nervous, I just didn't really want to talk to her. If anyone had said 10 months ago that I would not want to speak with my ex I would have thought that was crazy. Time does work folks, and NC. The person we spent our lives with are gone and replaced with a person we really don't know anymore. She could sense that I wasn't into a long convo so she said bye and continued on. I felt weird for an hour or so and then snapped back to normal. It really felt like the end to this crazy, painful journey for me. I want all of you to get there also, just be strong and a brighter future will find you. Peace
Blessings Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 it all makes me so sad, how the person you loved and shared everything with...becomes a stranger someday...i dont want to get there but apparently there is no other option
sunshinegirl Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Fox, you continue to be an inspiration around here. This is another example of you handling yourself with dignity and class, and being a living example of the healing that time eventually brings. Thanks.
pushforward Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 That's great. I've been following your story about how she left for another man and how you did everything possible to win her back. After NC for you she came crawling back and you knew deep down that she isn't the one for you. Funny how life works eh? I'm glad that you were able to get through this. In all honesty, I look up your stories sometimes to give me inspiration to walk through my own hell. What's new in your personal life? You haven't been posting many updates. Thanks for posting! It really helps for those in pain and don't know what to do other than stick to NC.
Surfer Dude Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Good work man, you have made huge progress. Seems like you're nearing an end of this painful journey
Author foxh1234 Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 Fox, you continue to be an inspiration around here. This is another example of you handling yourself with dignity and class, and being a living example of the healing that time eventually brings. Thanks. Thanks SSG, I like to post positive stuff to help others get through this crap. It has been a long road but I just want everyone to know that there is hope and things get better as soon as we let them.
Author foxh1234 Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 That's great. I've been following your story about how she left for another man and how you did everything possible to win her back. After NC for you she came crawling back and you knew deep down that she isn't the one for you. Funny how life works eh? I'm glad that you were able to get through this. In all honesty, I look up your stories sometimes to give me inspiration to walk through my own hell. What's new in your personal life? You haven't been posting many updates. Thanks for posting! It really helps for those in pain and don't know what to do other than stick to NC. Hi PF, not much new with me. I went away to Jamaica before Christmas with the money I would have spent on her. Since the new year I have been working out like crazy and planning a trip to Vegas next month. As far as dating, I went on a few but nothing worked out. I am going to relax on the dating thing for awhile and just take it as it comes. Forcing myslef to date has not been any fun and that's really what it's all about right ? As I have said many times on this site, we cannot make anyone else happy until we are happy with ourselves. I am starting to be happy with myself again. For the last 9 years, she was my universe, my everything and in retrospect, that was part of the problem. I won't lose myself in a relationship again. So if there is a silver lining, I guess I learned that. I think it was Caliguy who told me way back when I first found this site that there is no point worrying about things we can't change. He was so very right. Our ex's are doing their own things and we have to do the same. Life doesn't stop and living everyday to the fullest is my plan. Good luck to you all and keep up the NC. It is the key to freedom from your ex and gaining back your life. Cheers
Author foxh1234 Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 Good work man, you have made huge progress. Seems like you're nearing an end of this painful journey Thanks SD, keep on doing what your doing and you'll get there. Keep looking forward and never back.
Author foxh1234 Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 it all makes me so sad, how the person you loved and shared everything with...becomes a stranger someday...i dont want to get there but apparently there is no other option It is kinda sad but that's life. Nothing lasts forever and maybe in some cases people can re-connect down the road and be friends. In my case though with the cheating I feel that we won't be friends ever. I also think that it is very important for both people to get over the other completely by going NC and then maybe start a friendship down the road. All we know is now, the future is yet unwritten so anything is possible. Keep your chin up:)
pushforward Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Hi PF, not much new with me. I went away to Jamaica before Christmas with the money I would have spent on her. Since the new year I have been working out like crazy and planning a trip to Vegas next month. As far as dating, I went on a few but nothing worked out. I am going to relax on the dating thing for awhile and just take it as it comes. Forcing myslef to date has not been any fun and that's really what it's all about right ? As I have said many times on this site, we cannot make anyone else happy until we are happy with ourselves. I am starting to be happy with myself again. For the last 9 years, she was my universe, my everything and in retrospect, that was part of the problem. I won't lose myself in a relationship again. So if there is a silver lining, I guess I learned that. I think it was Caliguy who told me way back when I first found this site that there is no point worrying about things we can't change. He was so very right. Our ex's are doing their own things and we have to do the same. Life doesn't stop and living everyday to the fullest is my plan. Good luck to you all and keep up the NC. It is the key to freedom from your ex and gaining back your life. Cheers Thanks for the update. I've been struggling real hard. 4 months broken up. Over 2 months of NC. I've done everything to cut her out of my life. Change my number, blocked her on any network sites or instant messengers. Moved to a new place, I'm just dealing with my own pains and problems. It still hurts and my question to you is, how long did it take for you to finally get over it? I'm going nuts here living through memories and pain. I've been focusing on myself. Working really hard, studying hard, gyming hard and even looking for a 2nd job to fill my spare time on the weekends. Overall, I am in a much better place. I'm not looking to date until I've fully healed. Any words of wisdom for me?
Author foxh1234 Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 Thanks for the update. I've been struggling real hard. 4 months broken up. Over 2 months of NC. I've done everything to cut her out of my life. Change my number, blocked her on any network sites or instant messengers. Moved to a new place, I'm just dealing with my own pains and problems. It still hurts and my question to you is, how long did it take for you to finally get over it? I'm going nuts here living through memories and pain. I've been focusing on myself. Working really hard, studying hard, gyming hard and even looking for a 2nd job to fill my spare time on the weekends. Overall, I am in a much better place. I'm not looking to date until I've fully healed. Any words of wisdom for me? Hi PF, I wouldn't say I'm healed but I am getting better. I don't think anyone can put a timetable on healing. There are too many variables. You are doing all the right things but the most important thing at this point is for you to give up all hope. I don't just mean say that you do but really deeply give up hope. It is the hope that they will come back that keeps us in this loop of pain and what if scenarios. Giving up hope doesn't mean to stop caring or loving them it is just the next step for you in healing. I am not saying this to give anyone false hope, but once I had given up all hope and accepted things the way they were, it was then and only then that my ex came crawling back. In my case, which is well documented, I could not accept her back. I'm not saying this will ever happen but accepting things you cannot change will get you through this the quickest. What happens in the future , none of us know. Once you realize that your ex is gone, they choose to be gone and if they wanted you they would find you. Then you are on your way to moving on. It sounds harsh, but the reality is that most of our ex's have moved on with their lives and we must do the same, sooner or later. I vote for sooner.
Author foxh1234 Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 Thanks for the update. I've been struggling real hard. 4 months broken up. Over 2 months of NC. I've done everything to cut her out of my life. Change my number, blocked her on any network sites or instant messengers. Moved to a new place, I'm just dealing with my own pains and problems. It still hurts and my question to you is, how long did it take for you to finally get over it? I'm going nuts here living through memories and pain. I've been focusing on myself. Working really hard, studying hard, gyming hard and even looking for a 2nd job to fill my spare time on the weekends. Overall, I am in a much better place. I'm not looking to date until I've fully healed. Any words of wisdom for me? Hi PF, I wouldn't say I'm healed but I am getting better. I don't think anyone can put a timetable on healing. There are too many variables. You are doing all the right things but the most important thing at this point is for you to give up all hope. I don't just mean say that you do but really deeply give up hope. It is the hope that they will come back that keeps us in this loop of pain and what if scenarios. Giving up hope doesn't mean to stop caring or loving them it is just the next step for you in healing. I am not saying this to give anyone false hope, but once I had given up all hope and accepted things the way they were, it was then and only then that my ex came crawling back. In my case, which is well documented, I could not accept her back. I'm not saying this will ever happen but accepting things you cannot change will get you through this the quickest. What happens in the future , none of us know. Once you realize that your ex is gone, they choose to be gone and if they wanted you they would find you. Then you are on your way to moving on. It sounds harsh, but the reality is that most of our ex's have moved on with their lives and we must do the same, sooner or later. I vote for sooner.
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