She wanted to go out with me and i cancelled and now she said theres no chance? WOW

[Brady_to_Moss]

This girl who i really liked and still do a little asked me out on friday yet told me shes not ready for a relationship..i say ok but later in the day i cancel due to a waste of a time due to the fact that she doesnt want a relationship so i thought i would move on. Now shes all mad and said that she was maybe thinking about a relationship and now doesnt want anything to due with me..How the **** am i supose to know that she was thinking about a relationship now after she has told me many times shes not ready? I am 20 and have come to realize that i am not ready for girls right now. I cant deal with this bull**** 24/7. I have come to realize life is SO much easier without a GF. Sorry girls but no i see why i chose not to date.

[D-Jam]

Meh...she's a flake. She first figured she could find someone better than you, so she pulls that "I don't want a RL" song and dance so she has an easy excuse to run to if she happens to meet someone shortly after starting to see you.

 

THEN...you cancel and now she's questioning her self-worth. "OMG, he's not chasing me. No pursuit! Maybe he's worth something! Maybe I'm not all that!" So now she's getting all pissy and claiming she was contemplating it, mostly to save face from her BS.

 

You did the right thing, and I think you have the right attitude about it all. Let them keep playing games while you seek out an ADULT WOMAN. If women like that one end up older and alone, she can sit in privacy and know why she ended up there.

[carhill]

Less relationship + more fun = more dates

 

I was trying to integrate the variable of thinking too much, but algebra is SNAFU for me today

[Brady_to_Moss]

Its unbelieveable how many girls in the ages from 20-22 are just like that. I need a mature women...someone who doesnt play childish games.

[mr.dream merchant]

Why not get a childish one to get your rocks off with and call it a night?

[Brady_to_Moss]

Speaking of little girls playing games. My friend who is a girl is going through a rough time and she im'ed me last week wanting to talk about her break up..i use to like this girl actually..talked for like 2 hours about it and she said she was coming to visit me...cool!! i tried to im her and txt her for the past week to see if she is coming..she hasnt contacted me at all. I have sent txts, im's phone calls nothing...yet she talks to all my friends and such I guess she only contacts me when she wants something....just going to start to ignore her as well..i hope this isnt a pattern with all girls..

[carhill]

i hope this isnt a pattern with all girls..

 

Calling when they want something? hehe....better put your big boy underwear on; you're in for a lifetime of it. Why do you think they invented caller ID? I especially enjoy receiving their wants when my phone is on vibrate and in my pants

[Brady_to_Moss]

I especially enjoy receiving their wants when my phone is on vibrate and in my pants

 

 

I like that to. I just never pick up!

[melodymatters]

My husband felt the same way about all the "twitty" chicks his age, and their drama.

 

Perhaps you should take a page from his book, and find yourself a sexy older woman ?

[Brady_to_Moss]

Perhaps you should take a page from his book, and find yourself a sexy older woman ?

 

 

I want to. Just dont know where to look or how to get these older women.

[reservoirdog1]

Try online. As I understand it, a sizeable number of women over 30 start to tire of the bar scene and resort to looking online.

 

That's where I met my last GF. She was 40, 6 years older than me, and had a body most women half her age would kill for. The relationship lasted two years. We broke up for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with her hotness.

 

Point being, they're on the dating sites. Check out plentyoffish.com -- it's completely free.

[serial muse]

This girl who i really liked and still do a little asked me out on friday yet told me shes not ready for a relationship..i say ok but later in the day i cancel due to a waste of a time due to the fact that she doesnt want a relationship so i thought i would move on. Now shes all mad and said that she was maybe thinking about a relationship and now doesnt want anything to due with me..How the **** am i supose to know that she was thinking about a relationship now after she has told me many times shes not ready? I am 20 and have come to realize that i am not ready for girls right now. I cant deal with this bull**** 24/7. I have come to realize life is SO much easier without a GF. Sorry girls but no i see why i chose not to date.

 

 

Hi Brady - I have to admit I haven't followed your whole story, so I may be missing key parts of it. But, um...just from what I'm reading here, don't you think that agreeing to go out and then cancelling later on is also, well...kind of flaky?

 

I don't know, IMO "I'm not ready for a relationship" is overused and has lost a lot of its meaning - unfortunately, I think people often use it as a delaying tactic and/or as a way to maintain some security and emotional distance instead of as an honest warning. Sounds like that's what she was doing, and it's the sort of thing one does when one is afraid of getting hurt. It sucks and it's ultimately self-defeating (as she discovered), but it's her loss - maybe she'll understand that she shouldn't be so careless about saying that.

 

Still...I can understand rolling your eyes at her, but given that you said yes in the first place, I guess I don't understand why you're angry enough to want to rant against all women and dating and whatnot...if you didn't want to deal with someone who showed signs of being flaky, you could've just said no up front, right? Why did you even say yes in the first place?

 

Feels like there's more to the story...or else I should go back and read your other threads. Sorry if I'm overlooking stuff.

[Brady_to_Moss]

Ok so shes pissed at me right? Why then did she just IM me and talk to me and say hun and i miss you..then sent a message over facebook saying i miss you....i can tell shes just playing games..when she was Im'ing me she had this attitude that she was coming across as bitchy and mad yet saying hun and i miss you...is she telling the truth?

[Star Gazer]

But, um...just from what I'm reading here, don't you think that agreeing to go out and then cancelling later on is also, well...kind of flaky?

 

This is what I don't get. It's the pot calling the kettle black.

[D-Lish]

Ok so shes pissed at me right? Why then did she just IM me and talk to me and say hun and i miss you..then sent a message over facebook saying i miss you....i can tell shes just playing games..when she was Im'ing me she had this attitude that she was coming across as bitchy and mad yet saying hun and i miss you...is she telling the truth?

 

Yeah she's probably pissed at you... You agreed to the date and then just blew it off. That's poor form.

 

People talk smack about not wanting a relationship. Wouldn't it be worse if a girl told you before a first date that they were "interested in a long term, serious relationship that would hopefully lead to marriage and lots of kids" ??

 

Then you'd be on here telling us about some crazy chick wanting to move too fast.

[dreamergrl]

Perhaps "I'm not looking for a relationship" simply means that she doesn't want to just dive right in. Or maybe she didn't want to come off too over bearing at first. There's so many different meanings for this phrase. There's only one meaning for "Forget it, I'm canceling" when you aren't hearing things just the way you want it.

[Brady_to_Moss]

I agreed because she kind of put me on the spot when she asked and then i thought more about it.....

[birdie]

I don't mean to be patronising but most of this stuff is about age. when you get older you stop worrying about what other people think and you have the confidence to be more direct. you also realise that games are a waste of time and they just confuse everyone.

 

I'm sure you'll end up meeting older girls if that's what you really need/want. keep talking to different kind of women. I don't mean in bars but wherever you have the chance, just chat to them without chatting them up. this will help you figure out what works for you what doesn't and whom you can communicate with better.

[kdark]

Birdie, that's the best advice you can give to anyone who is down in the dumps about dating. Don't take it so far as to swear off the opposite sex and not talk to them. Just engage in conversations that have no intention of leading to anything. It takes the pressure off, and speeds up the healing process.