bilbit Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Was this a good idea? I thought that after such a long time apart we could actually be friends. After reading some of the previous entries, I recognized one of the reasons I did this. I just broke up with someone and I guess I'm lonely. Anyway, I've seen him off and on in random places for two years, and each time we do not acknowledge the other's presence. Awkward. Whenever I saw him, I'd want to talk to him, but I was scared at the same time. He dumped me, then wanted me back three months later, but I was unsure at the time, so he gave up. When we last spoke 6 years ago, I said that I never wanted to see him again and hung up the phone. I was hurting at the time and didn't mean forever. Fastforward to Monday. On an impulse, I googled him, made a call and got his email address. We exchanged a few short emails, he said he'd be glad to get a drink or two, so I gave him my phone number. Now I'm not sure I should have done this. It's only been a day, so I don't expect him to call immediately, but I'm nervous. Yes, in the back of my mind I envisioned us starting over romantically, but I'm not expecting anything more than a few drinks and maybe less awkwardness the next time we see each other out in the world. What must he be thinking of me right now?
diskey23 Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 i dont think you did anything crazy. it does sound like you want more then just a couple drinks with him though. not sure what he's thinking but if you dont hear anything in the next couple weeks, i'd take that as a hint.
vulcan Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 After 6 years thats really kinda cool. I wish I could have something with my ex but I dunno soo much damage has happened and stuff she did I think I would be too resentfull to have anything with the ex and that hurts. Just be careful it is always tricky with things like this. Kepp an open mind, hold no resentment and look at it as if this was the first time you saw him good luck
vulcan Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 So you said you were really mad and said you didn't want to speak to him ever again. How long after that did you realize that you really din't mean forever? And why did it take you soo long to decide to contact him again?? And if you are thinking of maybe strting something up with him again how did you or how did you perpare yourself that it just might be too late and he might be over you or with a someone else?
birdie Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 I don't know what he is thinking but I'd say the odds are that both of you have changed so much that you may not have much in common anymore.
Author bilbit Posted January 19, 2009 Author Posted January 19, 2009 It's safe to say that both of us have moved on. I know I've seen other people, and I'm sure he has, too. It's been six years. I did not see him at all for four of them. Then I visited a bar I never go into, and there he was. I can't say all these feelings came rushing back, but it was disconcerting to see him. That was when I remembered the last thing I said to him, and I didn't think he'd want to talk to me. I emailed him because I remembered him as being a cool guy to hang out with, and maybe we could get to know each other again. My ex has emailed be back, we've exchanged a few since then, and it's warming up. He said he'd be glad to get a drink, so I gave him my number but he didn't call. I emailed him again to say if he felt weird about calling, he didn't have to, I'd see him around and I would say hello. He replied to that by listing all the things in his "jam-packed" schedule. By the amount of extracurriculars this guy is into, I don't think he's rushing home at night for anyone special. But, I took the hint. I'm not sorry I contacted him, though. I would have regretted NOT doing it far more. Maybe we'll get together sometime, but I'm not waiting by the phone. Thanks for the advice!
Chinook Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I don't think it was a bad idea too. Afterall, if we don't try, we don't see any results do we...? I do think it's possible that maybe you're lonely. That said, maybe you're lonely and realising that some people are important in our lives, no matter how we grew to know them and some people are worth the fight to have them back in our lives... whether that's just as friends or as something more. If I were you though, I would tread very carefully. He dumped you back six years ago. He's less likely to have anything to invest than you are, afterall you're the one who contacted him. He may be happy to go with the flow and see what happens.... that doesn't mean he's committing to a new relationship. Just take your time and be careful.
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