mia1234 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I have a problem. A recently hooked up with an old friend, we were really drunk, but there was no sex. Problem is, he's kind of in a long distance thing with someone, it's only in the beginning stages. I have no interest in dating him or anything like that, he is just a friend. I told him as it was happening to stop if he felt uncomfortable, several times actually, but he didn't say anything that made me think he maybe felt guilty until after it happened. We agreed that we wouldn't tell a soul, but I am still afraid he is going to feel guilty and confess to her, which I don't think would accomplish anything good. If any one of our friends find out about this, it will be horrible for both of us. I feel absolutely terrible, for the girl and for just doing something this stupid. Has anyone gone through something similar?
Untouchable_Fire Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 We agreed that we wouldn't tell a soul, but I am still afraid he is going to feel guilty and confess to her, which I don't think would accomplish anything good. If any one of our friends find out about this, it will be horrible for both of us. I feel absolutely terrible, for the girl and for just doing something this stupid. Has anyone gone through something similar? It's his relationship. If he wants to tell then you have to respect that. You should not try to coerce him to keep secrets if he does not want to. Just leave the situation as is. What makes you so nervous that he would tell? Are you friends with his GF? Do you have a BF?
Geishawhelk Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I have a problem. A recently hooked up with an old friend, we were really drunk, but there was no sex. Problem is, he's kind of in a long distance thing with someone, it's only in the beginning stages. I have no interest in dating him or anything like that, he is just a friend. I told him as it was happening to stop if he felt uncomfortable, several times actually, but he didn't say anything that made me think he maybe felt guilty until after it happened. I thought you said you didn't have sex? But you crossed some boundaries? You should be ashamed of yourself. You "asked him to stop if he felt uncomfortable." The only reason you asked that, was because you thought it might create issues. You were sober enough to think of this: I got news for you - YOU should have stopped. there and then. In fact, you shouldn't even have started....! We agreed that we wouldn't tell a soul, but I am still afraid he is going to feel guilty and confess to her, Well I hope he does, otherwise he's a liar and a cheat. which I don't think would accomplish anything good. If any one of our friends find out about this, it will be horrible for both of us. I feel absolutely terrible, for the girl and for just doing something this stupid. Has anyone gone through something similar? you feel terrible now. Did you not feel terrible at the time? Well, obviously not enough, or you would have stopped. Good. I'm glad you feel terrible. So you should. Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine your BF getting drunkenly frisky with a girl who could stop it, wondered whether to stop it, but didn't! One of your friends will only find out if either of you open your mouths and blabber about it. So if someone approaches you to discuss it - you know it wasn't you. Which does kinda make it likely he'll talk to his GF. And serve you right if he did. How long did it last? 10 minutes? An hour? Worth the hassle, was it? Oh, good grief!! :mad:
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