LovieDove24 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I started seeing a guy about three months ago who has a three year old son and I have a 7 month old daughter. I'm finding it very difficult for us to spend time together. He works 2nd shift and I work first so by the time he is getting off work at 8pm I am settling in for the night so I can be up by 6am. In addition to our kids and opposite schedules, he is considering getting a second part time job AND taking night classes one night a week. This would allow us even LESS time to spend together. Neither of us are big on talking on the phone either, so its like we'll go 4 or 5 days in between talking. I just feel like this relationship is progressing so SLOW compared to what I'm used to. In all honesty I am okay with this for now because its only been a few months but I am worried if things keep progressing so slowly we will stagnate further down the road. It may be important to note that all my previous relationships started off fast and furiously. Is this typical dating behavior for two busy working parents? I am worried that I am fulfilling my sick need for unavailable partners again (yes I'm in therapy:laugh:), what do you think?
prettybaby Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I don't know how far you two live and work from each other, but could you have lunch with him once in a while between office hours? Plus, there are weekends. If he's gonna be taking classes, would it be possible for you to pick him up or drop him off or even meet him up and squeeze some quick dinner in between? The man's gotta eat and so do you, right? I'm sure you can get creative and work around each other's schedules.
flc Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 It is complicated in my case I have a 15yo daughter living with me full time and my gf has a 17yo daughter. Both are old enough to be left alone a fair amount but not generally overnight. Unlike young kids they don't go to bed early either. So we try to find a balance, we almost always eat at home with our kids and then see each other after dinner (not so easy for you since your kids are younger) and then go home for the night. We alternate, sometimes I go to her house some nights she comes to mine. Weekends one or the other girls can usually spend Friday or Saturday night with a friend. Having good friends who understand your situation and don't mind having your kids around is a god send but not easy to find. Your life sounds pretty hectic with the mismatched schedules though, I think it is going to be tough but if you like each other you will make it work.
Author LovieDove24 Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 The problem is he seems totally fine with a once a week visit and the occasional random phone call. I realize this is something I am going to have to talk to him about isn't it? Any suggestions on how to broach the subject? We've only been dating for 3 months and we haven't officially "titled" anything yet either. Its still so new in the relationship and I don't want to come off as needy. Help!
prettybaby Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Simple lines like "I miss you" and "I'd love to see you more often" should be a nice introduction to the subject lol Also a nice casual way of testing his reaction before you jump into some deep talk.
Recommended Posts