Combos Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I prolly know the answer to this question so I am going to ask anyway. After being married for 12 years, H and I have drifted apart. In the aspect of he's pushed me away and I am not doing anything to stop it. I have come to the conclusion that we are really good friends with the occassional benefits. I don't sit and daydream about him, but I do a guy that has been flirting with me. I guess one could say I really don't care where he goes. I have started to live my life as if I am single ( I am a mother of 3). I told H that no matter what happens I hope we can still stay friends for the sake of the kids. H has responded by saying yes we will always be friends and in the same breath tells me Luv Ya. I really loved my husband deeply, but for reasons I don't know he took all that and more away when he stopped showing affection. Now I really don't care if we stay together or not. I don't know if I am going through a change... but being married is not all that appealing anymore. I do love my H, because he is the father of my children, but I am not in love with him the way I should be. I think he feels the same way. I can't answer for him. Is this a phase that all married couples go through?
hunkahunkaburninlove Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 It can be. Guys are dumb. Unless you spell it out he might not even know. Marriage is hard work, i know this because i have been married almost 30 years. You need to go to a marriage encounter. You need to work at this. If you don't you will end up with other people.
Geishawhelk Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 "He may feel the same way, but you can't answer for him".... Complacency is something that can dull the mind. It's possible he doesn't realise how you feel, or how far gone this is, because he's comfortable, and unaware. Please, before the flirting goes too far, do yourself a huge favour. Lay your cards on the table with your H and discuss this. because flirting will take you to places that feel great but are really unpleasant. I know what you mean. I was married for 22 years before my H and I agreed to separate. (For exactly the same reasons your marriage is floundering. Good friends under one roof. nothing more.) By that time, I had met my current partner, but nothing happened until after my H and I agreed to go our separate ways. You have to broach this subject with your H. Expect him to be shocked, because it could be that as far as he's concerned, it's situation normal.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Please, before the flirting goes too far, do yourself a huge favour. Lay your cards on the table with your H and discuss this. because flirting will take you to places that feel great but are really unpleasant. Good advice. Combos, I see in your post that you've made a lot of assumptions about how your husband feels and what he's thinking, but no where do you say that they two of you sat down and talked this through. What's stopping you from doing so? Mr. Lucky
seibert253 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Good advice. Combos, I see in your post that you've made a lot of assumptions about how your husband feels and what he's thinking, but no where do you say that they two of you sat down and talked this through. What's stopping you from doing so? Mr. Lucky Couldn't agree more. We all knows what happens when you ASSUME something. Your husband could feel completely opposite what you think he's feeling, but you'll never know until you ask.
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