LoveIsMySecret Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Hi guys, I'm new here. I've been mulling over my decision regarding my relationship for quite some time. I've decided to ask for opinions since I can't (or I'm afraid to) face reality. Here it goes (I apologize for the long post): About two years ago I met this guy, nothing happened in the beginning. I'm 21 and he's 25. He gave me his number but I didn't call because I wasn't interested at first. I ended up calling him but nothing went further. Months past and he texts me. We start talking a lot (almost everyday), we started hanging out as friends then early last year we started getting more serious. We really enjoyed our time together. I lost my virginity to him (a decision I don't regret because I knew he was the one), anyway my feelings for him became stronger; quicker than I expected. After that we were together all the time and we usually had sex. He went away for awhile, which put a strain on the relationship because we didn't straighten things out, regarding us as a couple. I knew he wasn't sleeping with other people but I didn't know where we stood. We didn't talk that often because he was in another country and very busy. When he returned everything went back to normal but the questions still lingered. The thing is, I'm having doubts about our relationship. He rarely tells me how he feels about me, we don't go out that often (I don't think I have to tell him I want to go out, isn't that what people do?), and it sometimes feels that he's only interested in sex. We've had talks where he questions why I question his loyalty to me but I'm not sure where this is going. I've been avoiding him lately because I don't want to get in an argument about this, but I'm pretty sure me not talking to him is doing more harm than good. I've been questioning whether or not I really love him but at this point I can't see my life without him. I'm conflicted. Am I kidding myself in thinking that the feelings I have for him are only based on him being the first guy I've been intimate with? Are my doubts valid?
prettybaby Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Am I kidding myself in thinking that the feelings I have for him are only based on him being the first guy I've been intimate with? Maybe partly, and it's only natural. However, it seems like your main issue here is communication. You two need to communicate! Talk about how you feel, what your expectations are, make yourself clear to him. Guys aren't very intuitive about that stuff; you literally have to spell it out sometimes for them to get what you truly want and expect from a relationship. If you wanna go out more with him, then simply ask him. Offer some ideas, like dinner, or movie, or whatever. Don't expect him to just magically guess what's going on in your head. That's not how most guys are wired.
Author LoveIsMySecret Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 Thanks! But how do I communicate my doubts to him? I can't just say, "I'm having doubts about us.........." Or should I? That wouldn't make him feel any better about the situation.
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