kizik Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Once you pursue your own hobbies - be they music, reading, Star Trek, sewing, kickboxing, table tennis, yoga, et. al - the rest seems to fall into place. More clearly, I just want to say that after my break-up of '08, I put a focus on songwriting and recording music, and have found a hope and purpose in life that had certainly been missing for a while. This has been a nice respite after a tough breakup from a girl whom I was with for 3 years. It's time to be selfish, y'all - let's start to pursue our hobbies. And if self-enhancement isn't enough for you, think about this - it's quite attractive to do what you want and not care if anyone likes or notices it. Take it from the loner - even I feel better without external validation.
peteyj Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 While focusing on yourself, your hobbies, your interests, and your goals is great you really shouldn't just exclude having a social life or a dating life. I know when I was younger I focused all my energy on work, on some side projects that were more hobby than work and I had not time for anything else... Working over 100 hours a week does that to you. Where did that all get me? I missed hanging with or building a real social circle for a large portion of my twenties... When you don't hang out with friends often, if ever, suddenly you are not really friends anymore.. Yeah good friends might still be friends but if they have all these memories of their twenties together and the only memories you have are sitting in some cubilce or office every day and night then it's a whole different ball game. And the theory that things will just work out is just bogus... All that work got me stocks worth less than toilet paper, a lost job cause the company folded, broke cause I took less money to work for a great company doing something I thought I loved....it then forced me to take a job i sort of hated for an avg rate........ Years later I don't regret anything I did but in all honesty, all that time spent on work and things I loved doing turned more into burning out with nothing to show for it....If I had a job that paid overtime and a fair rate all those years... I'd probably have more to show for it now...So to me the whole do what you love theory meant being fished in at a young age to work for a company who knows you loved doing what you did at a cheap rate....and then working you all hours....
vanilla87 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Once you pursue your own hobbies - be they music, reading, Star Trek, sewing, kickboxing, table tennis, yoga, et. al - the rest seems to fall into place. More clearly, I just want to say that after my break-up of '08, I put a focus on songwriting and recording music, and have found a hope and purpose in life that had certainly been missing for a while. This has been a nice despite after a tough breakup from a girl whom I was with for 3 years. It's time to be selfish, y'all - let's start to pursue our hobbies. And if self-enhancement isn't enough for you, think about this - it's quite attractive to do what you want and not care if anyone likes or notices it. Take it from the loner - even I feel better without external validation. Congrats on using your breakup as a means to get something good out of life, not sit there and mope and whine about it, good job!
Author kizik Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 While focusing on yourself, your hobbies, your interests, and your goals is great you really shouldn't just exclude having a social life or a dating life. You're totally missing the point. Your situation is an anomaly and it seems that you're using this thread to speak more about your personal woes than to encourage others. Congrats on using your breakup as a means to get something good out of life, not sit there and mope and whine about it, good job! Thanks, I appreciate it. But trust me, I did my share of whining. Just go back to my posts dated May through, oh, January 2009
RogueAC Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Once you pursue your own hobbies - be they music, reading, Star Trek, sewing, kickboxing, table tennis, yoga, et. al - the rest seems to fall into place. Good thoughts! I might add for people to try NEW hobbies, especially things that are social.
peteyj Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 " You're totally missing the point. Your situation is an anomaly and it seems that you're using this thread to speak more about your personal woes than to encourage others." It's not an anomaly, it's what a lot of people do when they are upset or sad or broken hearted... They suddenly become entrenched in work, hobbies, things to do that keep their minds off of what's really going on... I did that years ago not really because of a breakup but because of somebody close to me died.....But the same theory holds true.... When you suddenly do nothing but concentrate on work and hobbies and nothing else......you wake up one day wondering what the hell happened to all those lost years... You need to keep a middle ground.. You also have to deal with what's going on....Never thinking about it just means your pushing it aside for another day...Which turns into another day and then another and so on...People do need to find new hobbies, find things they love to do, but if they use those hobbies or a job to hide the pain.....it's not doing anything for them but pushing aside the problem that's eating them.....Sometimes you have to take a punch and roll with it, deal with it, and move on....Otherwise ignoring the pain means it'll just hurt a hell of a lot worse later on cause you just kept pushing those feelings aside or never thinking about them.
Author kizik Posted January 17, 2009 Author Posted January 17, 2009 Never thinking about it just means your pushing it aside for another day...if they use those hobbies or a job to hide the pain.....it's not doing anything for them but pushing aside the problem that's eating them.....Sometimes you have to take a punch and roll with it, deal with it, and move on....Otherwise ignoring the pain means it'll just hurt a hell of a lot worse later on cause you just kept pushing those feelings aside or never thinking about them. Would you rather they drank? Did drugs? Took their anger out on others? Becoming obsessed with a hobby is totally healthy and productive in view of these other things. If you're going to say that hobbies are addictive and create anti-social behavior, you are wrong. This may have happened with you, but as I said you are an anomaly. What should people do, according to you? According to you, they should sit around and dwell on all the pain, b/c not doing so is just "pushing aside the problem" to another day. I say that's crap. Don't think about the ex, think about your new hobbies and improving in them. If you're so short-sighted that you ignore all your friends in lieu of the hobby - well, you're just stupid then.
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