emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 She just sent me an IM and she says her grandpa isnt doing good. Do I respond?
Mikey Action Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Were you close to her grandfather? If not, why would you? Although I'm a bit older and most young people (as in under 28ish) are comfortable using IM and Text and equate that the same as calling. Me if something is important I pick up the phone and call someone. Other than that, she lost the right to use you as her shoulder to cry on when you broke up. Maybe if she wanted to be consoled she shouldn't have broken up with the guy who consoled her. Cowboy up and make a decision. You do or you don't it's not rocket science or the end of the world. If it was me? aaah. Why not? I'd email her and tell her I think that's too bad and I feel badly about her grandpa being sick, losing a relative is sad. I guess that can't do any harm. What would you be trying to acomplish other then telling her you empathize with her family health issue?
dazedconfused Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 just tell her its kharma.... u break my heart, god breaks your grandpas
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 I ended up saying Im sorry about her grandpa and I wish the best for her family but she has no right to contact me. I told her I knew she was in a relationship and she should be talking to him right now not me. She wasnt there when I needed her so I didnt feel obligated to do the same. She said she loved me and always would and I said "right, well I'm going to go, I wish I could say the same." Was that good? I felt it was good. It sounded like I was moved on and that I dont want to hear from her.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 After a while you will be able to say that and really mean it. That will be when life is great.
Justmike101 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 just tell her its kharma.... u break my heart, god breaks your grandpas Gosh I am terrible. I chuckled at this sardonic humor.
georgejungle Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 this new relationship of hers must not be a nourishing one. Why she'd seek you out, be somewhat brushed off by you (with your response to her IM) and still tell you that she loves you and always will, is pretty interesting. You totally did the right thing though. I wish i had handled my ex the way you did. But in my case 10 years had passed and how could i still be angry? I did (for selfish reasons) want to tell her when she contacted me out of the blue to say "sorry" that I was more crushed than i led on at the time, when she dumped my 10 years ago. But i chose to go the 'water under the brige' route...however, I did tell her i'm married now and "nice talking to ya". I haven't responded to her last email, it's been two months. But again, i wish i had spilled my true feelings and told her that I accepted her apology and yeah, it sucked when she wasn't there for me, when i was so willing to give her all my love. Years later, now she tells me she's sorry and that she was dumb and naive and never meant to hurt me?..So I'm glad you stuck to your guns and told her what you felt inside.
Citizen Erased Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 just tell her its kharma.... u break my heart, god breaks your grandpas Wow. Just, wow.
thegoodlife Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 You definitely did the right thing. Good job!
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 just tell her its kharma.... u break my heart, god breaks your grandpas OWNED. Do this.
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 just tell her its kharma.... u break my heart, god breaks your grandpas :D:D cruel!!!
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 man o man did I think about it. But I went another route. haha
D-Lish Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Never resort to that sort of cruel response... that's what a total a-hole would do. If someone said that to me regardless of the circumstances of our break up... I'd know I had done the right thing by not being with him anymore. No one with integrity would say such a thing. Besides, playing the bitter card is showing her you aren't over her. I think your response was appropriate. Just harsh enough to give her the message to leave you alone- but matter of fact as well. Why is she still on your IM? Just take her off... get rid of the temptation to contact or hear from her.
Justmike101 Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 I ended up saying Im sorry about her grandpa and I wish the best for her family but she has no right to contact me. I told her I knew she was in a relationship and she should be talking to him right now not me. She wasnt there when I needed her so I didnt feel obligated to do the same. She said she loved me and always would and I said "right, well I'm going to go, I wish I could say the same." Was that good? I felt it was good. It sounded like I was moved on and that I dont want to hear from her. Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. What you did was not cruel. How could she do this try to manipulate u with her circumstance? She has a guy to confide in and she comes to u for this. She is a stranger. Leave her be.
pushforward Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 You weren't cruel at all. You simply said what you wanted to say. One thing I want to point out. If you don't want to hear from her. Block her and delete her. You don't want to be repeat offender of getting hurt by contact from her. Remember, she can only hurt you, if you allow it. Get to the root of the problem and cut contact and stick with NC. Until you figure out what you really want from her, whether it'd be friendship, a second chance (she should initiate this) or to cut your losses and move on. As painful as it may be, get lost and busy living life. Don't make somebody a priority if you aren't even an option to them. Read up on everybody who broke NC or had NC broken, 95% of the time, it results in heart break. Don't do it to yourself!
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