Blessings Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 So much pain I went through over losing him...so many sleepless nights and unanswered questions...so many thoughts that only my notebook knows and so many tears I have cried...sooo much freaking pain... For so long I wanted to know why he left me, where did I go wrong...for so long I hoped he would call or come back to me...he said i meant so much to him when he broke it off, yet..nothing..i was left broken and confused...how could he tell me he love me and CRY because he was scared of losing me then walk away and act like i never existed? I never understood and I thought I wanted closure but right now it doesn't even matter anymore...he left because he wanted to... Slowly I feel us fading away, I feel us growing more distant with time...One of my worst fears is happeneing/has happened in front of my eyes and I couldn't do nothing to stop it. I couldn't make him stay... When she's crying on the phone to him over an argument, he shows up at her house apologizing and comforting her...(my friends)...So many cold & miserable nights I spent all alone crying my heart out and nobody gave a damn about my pain...How many times have I been there for you when you were upset over the smallest thing?? How many times have I comforted you? It was sunny on your part of the world...you weren't hurting...I have so many "possible answers" to why you would leave like that and yet none of them matter...i dont want to know anymore...whether it was because of that girl or any other reason, i dont want to know... I don't listen to sad songs anymore, I go out...I'm trying to live my life and better myself...but God knows this isnt easy...Sometimes I feel angry...i dont know at what or at who....it just hurt way too much...
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