Anyone else faced a break-up because their ex couldn't handle their past?

[malika]

My ex and I had many arguments in our relationship, which escalated in the past three months and ultimately led to us breaking up. It boiled down to the fact that he could not accept my past.

 

I never cheated on him, but had told him I had cheated on another relationship circumstantially. He didn't like that I kept contact with a childhood friend who I'd have a fling with 8 years ago (and who is now in a serious relationship and his gf is a close friend of mine). My ex didn't like how many guys I had slept with, and him having not even half as much "experience" as I did.

 

I think it is a shame we'd break up over this, but I'm afraid it would be an issue for life. Before he knew all this information, he respected me and we were deeply in love. (He still claims to love me, though).

 

Has anyone faced this situation? Would a guy ever get over a woman's past? Or if the trust is shot, will it always be shot?

[crackerjax9]

yess my ex( just today !) would always randomly bring up things from my past...like guys that i hooked up with hed always think i was crushing them and a good example is one of my best guy friends in college we hooked up freshman year one night i was black out drunk..it was nothing..its junior year and me and him laugh about it but my ex cant get over the fact that i hooked up with him or any other guy for that matter...his insecurities and his jealousy ultimately led to our what is this now 6th breakup?

[Geishawhelk]

Yep.

My partner had issues, initially, but I eventually told him to get over it, because it was his problem, not mine. I can't go back and change a thing so it was his issue, not mine. Suck it up, get over it, or do the other if you can't.

 

He sucked it up and got over it.

[Island Girl]

The lesson to be learned is the past is the past and it isn't anyone's business.

 

Disclosure of details usually leads to insecurities and problems where before there were none.

 

The less information as far as specifics you share and ask for the better.

 

Everyone has past relationships, crushes, mistakes, etc. The quest is to learn from them and not repeat the same mistakes over again. Sometimes that has to do with poor choices in partners. Sometimes it has to do with poor decision making. Either way an ex is an ex for a reason. All of them and the experiences shared created who you are now. If that is the person they love - how you came to be the way you are is nobody's business as long as you are not putting their health at risk.

 

I don't care how my man treated anyone else. I don't care who he dated or didn't date. I don't ask and he doesn't either. We both know what a troublesome road that is.

 

My evaluation of him as a compatible partner is based on how he treats me and others in his life. I can learn a lot about him from his life choices, etc. as the relationship moves along.

 

A person needs to be open to another but also open to the signs that he/she may not be the right fit for you as well.

 

And the wrong fit for someone else may be just right for you. We all act differently depending on who we are with. Some people bring out sides of us that another never would see.

 

That being said chalk it up to a valuable lesson learned. And don't make the same mistake again.

[Grizzman]

Me being a guy I really didnt think that any of that was really an issue unless there was an STD involved. My thinking is that what you did in your past really isnt any of my business. Larry Miller did a skit on this and it makes alot of sense of how the double standard is used in this situation

" Men just seem to have a problem with the fact that their girlfriends have had past relationships. They cant accept the fact that if we were still sacrificing virgins our girlfriends would be safe. Id go as far and to say if the High Priest pull their name out of the hat they'd go ' Mouaaahhhh ha ha ha No' "