Is it wrong to hold out for a looker?

[Jersey Shortie]

Kashmir don't let these miserable women patronize you because you don't want a fatty for a girlfriend.

 

It's so adorable when people have reading comprehension skills! Makes me want to pinch their litttle wittle nose.

 

 

Kashmir, despite your protests it does sound like you want a raelly attractive woman because of your own confidense issues. I just hope you are honest with these women about your expectations or lack of when it comes to them and relationships and sex. If you get the validation you say you do from sex, then you need to work on yourself.

 

By the way, what type of body do you have? An athletic one yourself?

[kashmir]

Some of you are confusing me so much that it's making my head hurt.

 

Let me get this straight. You're suggesting that the only reason I want a very attractive woman is to make myself feel better? Well, it would make me happier, I can tell you that, but having an attractive girl would make any guy happy. Are you saying that the ONLY reason I would want an attractive girl is so I can get a confidence boost? That's stupid. Why would I NEED any more confidence if I got an attractive woman? This is confusing me because you're suggesting that I'm using my goal to work towards the same goal, and if I already achieved my goal of getting a smart and attractive girl then why would I need to USE her to achieve the same thing? That's like finding a pot of gold, and then exchanging it for another identical pot of gold. It doesn't make sense.

 

I'm really not as shallow as some of you are making me out to be. JS, you posted earlier about how men want fake beauty. That's so wrong. Many girls I see while going about my day I find to be attractive. Some of them are very attractive, and every once in a while one will be stunningly attractive. While I'd like the ones that stun me more, any of them I'd go for. I'm not looking for a model. Some are beautiful, but many just satisfy the standards of mainstream beauty. I'm looking for a girl that really turns ME on, not the majority of guys. I find a wide range of things in a woman attractive, and all I'm asking is that a girl I find fits somewhere in that range.

 

I'm athletic myself and while my body isn't totally ripped and hard like a rock, I'm very fit, so I think it's fair that I want a girl who's at least a bit fit and takes care of her body.

[carhill]

OP, can you discern between subjectively and objectively attractive? If so, explain your perspective on that. I think it's relevant As I write this, I'm reading your latest post *and* looking at the title of this thread

[kashmir]

By 'looker,' I mean someone who looks good to me,. Sometimes that's someone who other guys think is hot as well (mainstream beauty), but sometimes it's not.

 

I don't care what anyone else thinks about the girls I pick. Some guys I know like to brag to their friends about their hot gf. That's dumb. Sure, I'd like a hot girl, but I'd like her for my pleasure, not to gain approval with them.

 

What I'm asking here is I know a girl who turns me on a bit but not like other girls. I wasn't sure whether I should end it now and hold out for someone who turns me on more or to just go with her and see where it turns out, with the risk that she or even I could end up hurt.

[Tomcat33]

Hey listen, you like what you like no need to make excuses for that nor even explain it in depth.

 

As long as you are honest with the women that don't really do it for you, and by honest I mean tell them you are NOT interested in a relationship pretty much from the get-go, you are only looking to hang out and you are not going to be more than just hang out buds, then you can be "cool" with this girl that only half does it for you. Give her also the option of making an educated choice. What's fair is fair. What is NOT cool is leading this girl on and playing it like you want to date her and want to see her regularly because you enjoy her in the full package while she thinks there is more hope for you guys. That is dispicable, and any man who supports that you are huge hypocrite in turning around and complaining about women who use men for money. HUGE hypocrite.

 

Just because you don't want to settle for less and you want to get laid it doesn't mean you should trick women who are nice enough to want to be with you to give of themselves. That is the difference between someone with morals and someone without. If you were going into it thinking there is something about her, I want to know where this could lead that's different. You have already established she just DOESN'T cut it.

What I find most repulsive though is how you men could do something as intimate as screw, touch and kiss the naked body of a woman you don't find all that attractive but then rule her out for further interaction. That is so incredibly backwards, and then you get all pizzed about some woman who makes you give up a little money to pay on a first date and YOU feel used, yet you can make a woman give of herself in body and soul and feel NO REMORSE whatsoever!?!?. Oh the irony!:laugh:

 

 

 

Doing that is akin to goldiggers who purposely hang out on dates with men that do nothing for them, for the simple purpose of being out and getting dates paid for, THAT'S LAME and pretty low. You decide who you want to become Kashmir.

 

I would suggest date these women, the ones that are more into you than you are them and actually LEARN how to treat women, and once you get really good at that maybe you will have a chance at better women because you will understand them much better.

[carhill]

I wasn't sure whether I should end it now and hold out for someone who turns me on more or to just go with her and see where it turns out, with the risk that she or even I could end up hurt.

 

IMO, "hold out" is likely not the perspective you should have, and, if you have doubts about your attraction, it's best to be honest about that. If you've been on four or five "real" dates and you're not getting it, tell her. You've had ample opportunity to learn a bit of how to treat a woman but yet you're not leading her on with any false expectations. Most women I've known do this after one date, but perhaps I was just unlucky

[kashmir]

I've never whined about gold-diggers so whatever you're saying about guys who do that doesn't apply to me.

 

I never said that she doesn't cut it. I'm just being picky and thinking, "Well, she DOES turn me on, but a lot of other girls can turn me on more with their looks."

 

I would suggest date these women, the ones that are more into you than you are them and actually LEARN how to treat women, and once you get really good at that maybe you will have a chance at better women because you will understand them much better.

 

I have two differing personalities going through my mind right now. I'll describe both of them:

 

The Jerk Side - I want women and I want them physically, and I have no limits. If I have to emotionally hurt a girl or two to get what I want, so be it, they'll live. This side of me is telling me that nothing is fair in the world of love and because of that nothing I do can be wrong. Plenty of girls will try to use me, so why shouldn't I use some of them? I'm the only one that matters, and as long as I don't get attached to anyone I can do anything to satisfy my desires.

 

The Moral Side - I want women and I want them physically, but I have limits. I'll sacrifice my own desires so that I don't cause harm to others. I'm important, but so is every other decent person around me. I don't care if my morals won't be rewarded, or even punished, by the world. What's important is I'm following them and I know that I'm a decent person for doing so.

 

Clearly, these two sides of me are polar opposites. I'm thinking about both of them at the same time, and I don't know which to follow. With the Jerk Side, I WILL get women, but at the expense of my character. It's telling me, though, that character doesn't matter. With the Moral Side, I could go a long time, potentially a lifetime, without getting women while selfish jerks get them instead, but at least I'll still have character.

[Tomcat33]

I've never whined about gold-diggers so whatever you're saying about guys who do that doesn't apply to me.

 

 

I never meant that was you, I should have made that clearer. In reading over your thread I see a lot of hypocricy coming from men who support using women sexually who also don't support women who use men for money.

 

 

I have two differing personalities going through my mind right now. I'll describe both of them:

 

The Jerk Side - I want women and I want them physically, and I have no limits. If I have to emotionally hurt a girl or two to get what I want, so be it, they'll live. This side of me is telling me that nothing is fair in the world of love and because of that nothing I do can be wrong. Plenty of girls will try to use me, so why shouldn't I use some of them? I'm the only one that matters, and as long as I don't get attached to anyone I can do anything to satisfy my desires

 

You know what that's bullshiit. A person who's child is murdered also lives past it, sure they will be scared for life but they will live past it human beings are resilliant that way. THAT DOESN"T MEAN YOU SHOULD purposely cause harm on to others for your personal gains. Sociopaths do that, they make themselves out to be very friendly and charming when in fact they are dispicablly disrespectful to the point of harming others in very deep ways.

 

The Moral Side - I want women and I want them physically, but I have limits. I'll sacrifice my own desires so that I don't cause harm to others. I'm important, but so is every other decent person around me. I don't care if my morals won't be rewarded, or even punished, by the world. What's important is I'm following them and I know that I'm a decent person for doing so.

 

Clearly, these two sides of me are polar opposites. I'm thinking about both of them at the same time, and I don't know which to follow. With the Jerk Side, I WILL get women, but at the expense of my character. It's telling me, though, that character doesn't matter. With the Moral Side, I could go a long time, potentially a lifetime, without getting women while selfish jerks get them instead, but at least I'll still have character.

 

Funny thing, sociopaths, degenerates, rapists and murderers have the exact same conflicting thought process. Guess which side wins? You seem to fight a good argument with yourself.

 

On some varying degree we all have conflicting polar views that we justify or rule out, that is what our conscience is for.

 

 

And you know something, character doesn't matter until you meet the person that rocks your world that moves your soul the type of person that makes you want to be everything for them the type of person that makes you want to be the best that you can be, at THAT point character will matter and in a BIG way and guess what? It will be that same character that will ruin your chance at having what you desire most if you don't nurture it from now.

 

Keep harbouring actions that weaken your character, you'll see how much it does matter when the right time comes. Don't take my word for it, let it play out.

 

 

I am not saying don't get laid don't have fun don't play the field and play around sexually, do that, do all those things those are all part of growing up. I am saying be upfront about what you want to do, don't trick people into giving you what you want. Give women the option to be there for the right reasons, by putting out there that you are interested in just hanging out that you don't want a relationship you give the other person the option to also choose, you are NOT choosing for them.

 

Sure life is unfair things happen that can be out of our control that don't always benefit us but when you set out to harm others purposely and manipulate them for your own gain that eats away at your soul, no matter how much satisfaction you may get in the moment.

[Isolde]

I mean, none of us can have it both ways.

Either you date this girl or you "hold out." You seem to be trying to do both at once, in a manner of speaking. Make a decision and stick to it.

[Geishawhelk]

(Does anyone else see "Hooker" when they catch sight of this thread title.....?)

 

 

 

Sorry.

BTT.

[kashmir]

LOL, I knew a few people would mistake the title for something else.

 

Anyway, I'm going to go with this girl. I take back any doubts I had about her physical attractiveness...she's mad cute, it just took me a bit to realize that.

[mr.dream merchant]

LOL, I knew a few people would mistake the title for something else.

 

Anyway, I'm going to go with this girl. I take back any doubts I had about her physical attractiveness...she's mad cute, it just took me a bit to realize that.

 

You sure you don't want a vuluptuous bombshell? They're easy to snag man, trust in me.

[Geishawhelk]

Yes, but 'voluptuous bombshell' sounds too much like "hooker"......

 

Good on you, Kash!

[Viking]

I'd say that because you're still 19, that you're not looking too deeply into their person. And why should you? Don't get trapped early on (like I did), and compromise the standards that you had before you met the hottie.

 

My ex is quite a looker, but we didn't share the same morals, religion etc. Those are what you need to look at. When you find someone who matches, they become better looking. When you realize that they're a viable partner not just looks-wise, but also values-wise, they become more attractive.

 

You have a lot of threads that have a lot of "duh" answers. Sure, waiting for the hottie is shallow, but who wants to wake up next to an elephant? Frankly, there are plenty of hotties, with good bodies and same values. Learn where your "type" hangs out and go there.

 

Also, since you're only 19, you have yet to hit the bar scene where hotties (face and body) are oftentimes hanging out.

 

Your problem is wrong place wrong time. You're too young to really find anything more. Just you wait til the bars. You'll forget about the on campus girls. TRUST ME. But don't compromise the standards that you have.

 

Finally, just start becoming friends with the girls who like you. Chances are, if they're social, they've got OTHER FRIENDS who are female. That's another opportunity to get some networking going and meet the even hotter girls. Work your way up that ladder and get to the top!

[vulcan]

I struggle with this same issue:however, my story may be frowned upon but nonetheless it is my situation.

 

I am 37 I met my ex when she was 17. I didn't plan to fall for a 17 year old it just happened. We hit it off well we were really happy and whatnot and it was ok.

 

We both seemed to have the same ambition and drive in life and she let on that she was much more mature than what it actualy turned out to be but anayways.

 

I have to admit she was the best "looking " girl I ever had. I am pretty picky and she was evrything I wanted LOOK wise.

 

Now she would not be considered HOT she was cute/ adorable. I like the geeky dorky pale skin girls. the Bay Watch babes with huge boobies don't do it for me.

 

So she was what I wanted look wise but as time went on she changed into a monster and someone that was I mean she did and some crazy stuff and just turned into someone that I didn't know anymore.

 

So we broke up.

 

So now Iam sitting here and I have met a few people but have questioned the same thing you are. Should I hold out for that "ONE"

 

Although I don't really have an age issue or not at all opposed to dating girls in my age range the experience of being with my ex has kind of turned me on to the idea of dating younger girls. Another thing is that the " LOOk" that I find attractive in girls usualy come from girls that are younger anyways.

 

So Iam stuck here looking for that girl and it is very hard.

 

I do believe you should date people if they have a good personality or same goals dreams ect because you never know what might come of it so keeping that option open would be in your best interest

 

However, If you are really really adament on findng that ONE then you can date others but make it clear that it is in a casual sense as not to hurt or misslead the other person.

 

I myself Iam open to date anyone that meets my requirments such as goals, morals and interests but If I don't feel that WOW factor while with them I will keep my options open for that dorky/ geeky girl with glasses.

 

Hope that helps a bit good luck

[kashmir]

You sure you don't want a vuluptuous bombshell? They're easy to snag man, trust in me.

 

As others have said, once I turn 21 they'll be easy to snag, but it's hard to do anything without being able to get into clubs or bars. I have plenty of time. No need to rush.

[Jersey Shortie]

I struggle with this same issue:however, my story may be frowned upon but nonetheless it is my situation.

 

I am 37 I met my ex when she was 17. I didn't plan to fall for a 17 year old it just happened. We hit it off well we were really happy and whatnot and it was ok.

 

We both seemed to have the same ambition and drive in life and she let on that she was much more mature than what it actualy turned out to be but anayways.......................

 

Although I don't really have an age issue or not at all opposed to dating girls in my age range the experience of being with my ex has kind of turned me on to the idea of dating younger girls. Another thing is that the " LOOk" that I find attractive in girls usualy come from girls that are younger anyways.

 

So Iam stuck here looking for that girl and it is very hard.

 

I do believe you should date people if they have a good personality or same goals dreams ect because you never know what might come of it so keeping that option open would be in your best interest

 

 

 

No 17 year old girl, however mature she is for her age, is at the same level and is going to be of the same life experience and ambition of a 37 year old man. I am way younger then you and dating a 17 year old boy would say something about me and my lack of relating to men my age, my maturity, and so on. Not to mention it would be completely disgusting. Perhaps you were on the same maturity level, but not because she was so mature. Perhaps your immature for your age? I really don't know but I find something very demented about a man of your age trying to date 17 year old girls. And women your age are smart enough to question a man that could carry on a "relationship" with a 17 year old girl. A 17 year old girl is not smart enough to recongnize the signs of a predator. And at 17 , you were praying on that girl no matter how crazy she turned at to be. Nothing wrong with liking younger women. But a man of your age and a girl that age, there is something very wrong with that. Now if it was Kashmir liking a 17 year old, and him being 19, that's perfectly understandable.

[Geishawhelk]

Only in your one track, dimwitted mindset. What kind of schmuck are you to assume that it must mean hooker?

 

From what I've read in your posts you seem like an overweight, lonely single mother/father who is very miserable and unhappy in his/her own life and you resort to suppressing other peoples' fun (in this case, through these forums) because "Oh no! It's so wrong and immature to actually have some fun". Shut up already, you miserable old tool.

 

Rant over.

 

Wow, brilliant!! :laugh:

 

Actually, that was a joke.

 

And I think most people here will tell you that I am not, nor ever have been a miserable old tool!

 

But thank you for your - what is it - first post? Very perceptive of you!! :laugh:

[movingonandon]

LOL, I knew a few people would mistake the title for something else.

 

Anyway, I'm going to go with this girl. I take back any doubts I had about her physical attractiveness...she's mad cute, it just took me a bit to realize that.

 

 

I went through the exact same process with my current girlfriend. It took me a month to sink in that she's super cute (and hott - depending on make up) and I would've been a complete idiot if i didn't stay with her...

 

Also, habit (and pop-culture) is a big part of that - i spent my 20s obsessing (and being) with uber-skinny girls with boyish phisique and scoffed at any curves. I've got to tell you - this turned out to be one huge mistake! Of course, nobody likes fat girls, but there is a big difference between fat and some all-over softness as long as we're staying proportionate.

Skinny girls are built for speed, curvateous ones - for comfort :laugh:!

[movingonandon]

I've never whined about gold-diggers so whatever you're saying about guys who do that doesn't apply to me.

 

I never said that she doesn't cut it. I'm just being picky and thinking, "Well, she DOES turn me on, but a lot of other girls can turn me on more with their looks."

 

 

 

I have two differing personalities going through my mind right now. I'll describe both of them:

 

The Jerk Side - I want women and I want them physically, and I have no limits. If I have to emotionally hurt a girl or two to get what I want, so be it, they'll live. This side of me is telling me that nothing is fair in the world of love and because of that nothing I do can be wrong. Plenty of girls will try to use me, so why shouldn't I use some of them? I'm the only one that matters, and as long as I don't get attached to anyone I can do anything to satisfy my desires.

 

The Moral Side - I want women and I want them physically, but I have limits. I'll sacrifice my own desires so that I don't cause harm to others. I'm important, but so is every other decent person around me. I don't care if my morals won't be rewarded, or even punished, by the world. What's important is I'm following them and I know that I'm a decent person for doing so.

 

Clearly, these two sides of me are polar opposites. I'm thinking about both of them at the same time, and I don't know which to follow. With the Jerk Side, I WILL get women, but at the expense of my character. It's telling me, though, that character doesn't matter. With the Moral Side, I could go a long time, potentially a lifetime, without getting women while selfish jerks get them instead, but at least I'll still have character.

 

Very true, and I hope this shuts up, for a few seconds at least, all the judgmental bitching we've seen so far.

This type of dilemma applies to most guys, and IMO you don't have to firmly cross on the either side (in a sense, you'd stop being alive if you did that, assuming it's possible).

 

The Jerk and the Gentleman can happily co-exist, and in fact that's the combination that drives women crazy. So by all means, be a gentlement with women (but one at a time, please), but that does not mean sacrificing the selfish part of what makes you a guy. Trust me, if you you treat a girl well, and then selfishly (but skillfully) tear her apart in bed, she'll be hooked :laugh:. Then it becomes HER job to keep you around, and it is NOT your responsibility to give her some pity-commitment or relationship surrogate just so you could get laid...

[movingonandon]

 

What I find most repulsive though is how you men could do something as intimate as screw, touch and kiss the naked body of a woman you don't find all that attractive but then rule her out for further interaction. That is so incredibly backwards, and then you get all pizzed about some woman who makes you give up a little money to pay on a first date and YOU feel used, yet you can make a woman give of herself in body and soul and feel NO REMORSE whatsoever!?!?. Oh the irony!:laugh:

 

.

 

 

I agree with the rest of your post, but this part cracks me up! Aww, the poor woman with no free will who got lured by the male animal and got screwed and then dumped Puhleeze! Negotiating the terms of a relasionthip is a joint responsibility.

 

If you want guys to take responsibility for your feelings, then give up all other aspects of gender equality, and then yes, then maybe we'll be willing to go back to playing your daddies and "protecting" you. What ticks me off about this tpe of thinking is the assumptions - the evil guys preying on the little Bambies and Mermaids - "giving of themselves" in the vain hope of love . I see nothing wrong with a girl wanting relationship upfront, and mismatched expectations happen often. But, it is joint responsbility to reconsile them. Aww, the poor girls . C'mon - if a girl sleeps with you, she likes you, everything else is a subject of conversation between equal adults. Nobody owes nobody anything.

[mr.dream merchant]

As others have said, once I turn 21 they'll be easy to snag, but it's hard to do anything without being able to get into clubs or bars. I have plenty of time. No need to rush.

 

Please man, its about connections. I bagged a 24 year old Dominican broad who couldn't speak a lick of English when I was 19 in a 21 and up club. You gotta know people that know people mang!

[Tomcat33]

I agree with the rest of your post, but this part cracks me up! Aww, the poor woman with no free will who got lured by the male animal and got screwed and then dumped Puhleeze! Negotiating the terms of a relasionthip is a joint responsibility.

 

 

 

Laugh it off, release the anxiety my post has stirred up in you.

 

Nogotiation is a joint responsibility but when you withhold information or manipulate someone that is a one way act.

 

 

Are you for real? Have you even read half of the threads posted on this forum of women who are mislead ALL the time? And who are also dumped on their azzes as soon as they get intimate with a guy? PLEAAAASE! As if men don't mislead women to sleep with them. THE ONLY WAY SOME GUYS DO GET LAID is by misleading women into thinking that there is a chance in hell that he will become her boyfriend. Men play it up all the time like they are in it full on and then suddenly pull a dissapearing act when they have had their fill of what ever it is that they need. I have no problem with people changing there mind for getting to know someoene and feeling like the feelings just aren't there, that happens we are human and subject to change that's ok. I DO have problem with people who go into situations fully knowing what their intentions will and fom the get-go knew were not into someone for anything more than their selfish agenda.

 

 

SO YEAH I TOTALLY AGREE, negotating terms of a relationship is a joint responsibility it just so happens that some guys don't wish to include the woman in the decision process and proceed to FOOL them into thinking they are on the same page, they say and do things that lead the woman on. Because the bottom line is, if it weren't for the lies and the phoney act some of these men would not get laid at all, be it with the hottie OR the fatty.

 

At least Kashmir is honest that he is not looking for anything serious and if he lets the woman know from the get-go this notion then it is her decision to proceed. If he denies sharing that with her and starts to hang out with her he is COMPLETELY misleading her and that's what makes a guy that would do that a total creep. It is no laughing matter, it is called having decency and treating people with respect and like the adults that they are. If you manipulate people into doing things for you simply because you can that makes you a lower form of life.

 

 

 

Hypocrites!

[mr.dream merchant]

Laugh it off, release the anxiety my post has stirred up in you.

 

Nogotiation is a joint responsibility but when you withhold information or manipulate someone that is a one way act.

 

 

Are you for real? Have you even read half of the threads posted on this forum of women who are mislead ALL the time? And who are also dumped on their azzes as soon as they get intimate with a guy? PLEAAAASE! As if men don't mislead women to sleep with them. THE ONLY WAY SOME GUYS DO GET LAID is by misleading women into thinking that there is a chance in hell that he will become her boyfriend. Men play it up all the time like they are in it full on and then suddenly pull a dissapearing act when they have had their fill of what ever it is that they need. I have no problem with people changing there mind for getting to know someoene and feeling like the feelings just aren't there, that happens we are human and subject to change that's ok. I DO have problem with people who go into situations fully knowing what their intentions will and fom the get-go knew were not into someone for anything more than their selfish agenda.

 

 

SO YEAH I TOTALLY AGREE, negotating terms of a relationship is a joint responsibility it just so happens that some guys don't wish to include the woman in the decision process and proceed to FOOL them into thinking they are on the same page, they say and do things that lead the woman on. Because the bottom line is, if it weren't for the lies and the phoney act some of these men would not get laid at all, be it with the hottie OR the fatty.

 

At least Kashmir is honest that he is not looking for anything serious and if he lets the woman know from the get-go this notion then it is her decision to proceed. If he denies sharing that with her and starts to hang out with her he is COMPLETELY misleading her and that's what makes a guy that would do that a total creep. It is no laughing matter, it is called having decency and treating people with respect and like the adults that they are. If you manipulate people into doing things for you simply because you can that makes you a lower form of life.

 

 

 

Hypocrites!

 

And then you have the females who knew from the get-go what the relationship was to begin with. And as soon as they toss their draws to a guy they first wanted as a FWB, they start catching feelings and blame the guy for goin casper because it wasn't in his agenda. Let's face it. Sometimes sex makes a chick act differently. They start slowly attaching themself to you and expect the same from you knowing damn well that there was a mutual agreement on just sex in the beginning. The guy is not to be blamed in those cases. But the guy who misleads a girl who wanted a relationship from the beginning is pretty cold. But then there's chicks out there who will give a guy sex because she hopes for a relationship and knows that sex is the only thing that'll keep the guy interested in here, so she gives him it to keep him around while slowly working towards a relationship, all the while keeping the guy misinformed then playing victim when the guy cuts all contact with her once he realizes what's going on. Both parties can be equally guilty in the game.

[movingonandon]

Laugh it off, release the anxiety my post has stirred up in you.

 

Nogotiation is a joint responsibility but when you withhold information or manipulate someone that is a one way act.

 

 

Are you for real? Have you even read half of the threads posted on this forum of women who are mislead ALL the time? And who are also dumped on their azzes as soon as they get intimate with a guy? PLEAAAASE! As if men don't mislead women to sleep with them. THE ONLY WAY SOME GUYS DO GET LAID is by misleading women into thinking that there is a chance in hell that he will become her boyfriend. Men play it up all the time like they are in it full on and then suddenly pull a dissapearing act when they have had their fill of what ever it is that they need. I have no problem with people changing there mind for getting to know someoene and feeling like the feelings just aren't there, that happens we are human and subject to change that's ok. I DO have problem with people who go into situations fully knowing what their intentions will and fom the get-go knew were not into someone for anything more than their selfish agenda.

 

 

SO YEAH I TOTALLY AGREE, negotating terms of a relationship is a joint responsibility it just so happens that some guys don't wish to include the woman in the decision process and proceed to FOOL them into thinking they are on the same page, they say and do things that lead the woman on. Because the bottom line is, if it weren't for the lies and the phoney act some of these men would not get laid at all, be it with the hottie OR the fatty.

 

At least Kashmir is honest that he is not looking for anything serious and if he lets the woman know from the get-go this notion then it is her decision to proceed. If he denies sharing that with her and starts to hang out with her he is COMPLETELY misleading her and that's what makes a guy that would do that a total creep. It is no laughing matter, it is called having decency and treating people with respect and like the adults that they are. If you manipulate people into doing things for you simply because you can that makes you a lower form of life.

 

 

 

Hypocrites!

 

Hmm, interesting. Guys who can only get laid is they pretend that they want relationship, you say? Maybe this happens more than I'm aware of, I haven't dated that much (but seems more trouble than it is worth it!). But even if so, what does it tell about the women who do get intimate with them "in hopes" of relationship, rather than out of attraction?

My point is that if a woman gets intimate with a guy for any "purpose" other than attraction, she too is misleading both him AND *herself*.

 

With my current girlfriend i went through the "I'm not looking for anything serious" think (maybe after getting naked wasn't the best timing for this, but still), to "I like you but obviously I don't know how I feel about you yet", to seeing each other steadily, and hopefully (still) casually. The point is that I have enough reservations to see that this probably won't be a long-term thing, but, she's growing on me I still hope to be surprised. In the meantime, I keep enjoying her company (and booty ) Per your definition i'm a borderline "creep" (a very handsome one, I might add :laugh:.). If so, I can live with that.

The point is that true life interactions will almost never fall in the deception/usage boxes. You can be with someone and mislead yourself into believing that something serious will happen when it will not. And you can think that nothing serious is happening, and all of a sudden fall in love. That's why I keep insisting that we should take it easy on the assumptions. And those poor women you describe, well, if this keeps happening to them they need to ask themselves how good judges of character they are, and what are their own expectations and conduct in entering relationships...