ahhhchooo Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I got dumped end of July last year by a girl I considered the love of my life and didn't initiate NC immediately. Cried a lot, begged, couldn't drag myself out of bed, looked like sh*t every day at work from lack of sleep, couldn't concentrate - I thought about her every 10 seconds. I initiated NC, I don't know exactly when, but here I am in 2009 and I couldn't care that much about her. I met a new girl, completely unplanned last weekend through some friends and immediately struck up some kind of chemistry with her, went on a 1 on 1 date the next night. In all honesty, I'm pretty infatuated with her. Nothing sexual has happened as of yet, but even if it doesn't... I KNOW now I am over my ex and that there are better women out there. The next morning, almost a kind of 'Swingers' moment (I'm sure we all know this movie), I received the first contact from my ex since last October. She sounded like a wreck. I offered her my best wishes and nothing more. I no longer hold a grudge and really feel indifferent. The contact had no effect on my mood, didn't leave me wanting anything else. Believe me when I say things get better, life goes back to normal. I'm happily single and need nothing more in this world than a roof over my head, some friends and my guitar. Best wishes to everyone for 2009 and I hope everyone can find happiness within themselves.
EmperorR Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Ah Man Congrats, I hope to be at that spot very shortly.
pandagirl Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Isn't it funny how they always come back when you are finally over them? Seriously, how does the universe plan these things!
Peter_pan Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 they dont always come back. even if you are done with them
lonelygurl Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I want to first say Congrads on the new girl!! I do want to also say that like peter pan said they don't always come back, but some do. and not everyone will be healed and ready to move on in 5 or 6 months. In my case (the first time) my X dumped me I wasn't ready to move on in 6 months and he did come back and we did get back together and here I sit again!! Some people may take much longer to heal. I think it is great you were able to heal in a much shorter time frame. I hope to be able to do that this time rather than take so long. I know he will be out dating and screwing everything that walks so why should I sit here wallowing about what isn't.
BobrigoSanchez Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Thanks for posting. A lot of people, once they've moved on, wouldn't care to revisit the past and come here and update on how they''ve 100% moved on. Some do, but the more the better. It seems at times that some people stick around the forums for way too long and it gives others the impression that it's going to take them that long to get over someone. It normally doesn't if you employ the tricks of the trade. And those who are able to move on, just vanish. Me, I'm 100% sure NC won't be broken on my part, but I have the bad habit of staring at my phone since she breaks NC quite often.
sinkerswim Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Your story is inspirational... thank you for posting that. I am just in the beginning of my breakup..still living with him until I move back home to PA in 2 weeks. It is hard already..let alone leaving for good. I too, cant get out of bed..cant eat or face the day. I cannot concentrate on anything without thinking of it all. What was..what ifs..what could have been. I am going to miss him like crazy.. but I pray and hope in due time...that I will heal and maybe he will come back to me...even if I am in PA. He pursued me once...I hope he would do it again. Anyway..I am glad you feel better! Keep going on! I am happy for you.
lonelygurl Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 It seems at times that some people stick around the forums for way too long and it gives others the impression that it's going to take them that long to get over someone. It normally doesn't if you employ the tricks of the trade. Actually according to books on grieving it NORMALLY does take that long. It actually can take up to one to two years to grieve over the loss of someone. So to actually say on here it is not normal to longer than six months as in this case would be in a sense I think cruel and undermining people who are taking longer.
steve9417 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Actually according to books on grieving it NORMALLY does take that long. It actually can take up to one to two years to grieve over the loss of someone. So to actually say on here it is not normal to longer than six months as in this case would be in a sense I think cruel and undermining people who are taking longer. Loneygurl - afraid i stand with BobrigoSanchez ........ there's no normal recovery time as we're all unique - a lot of people want answers such as how long will it take to heal or expect it to take a long time ie one to two years ......... there's a danger of getting "stuck" in the process of moving on by looking for answers there's a curious paradox with LS ...... yes it's a great forum to share in the process of healing based on common experiences (and the safe knowledge that we're not alone )........ but that helping hand can also be its weakness as BobrigoSanchez hints - one can become stuck in the healing process by looking out for answers rather that being/living in the complexity of our own personal experience & ultimate recovery LS is a great forum don't get me wrong (I've used it for my own recovery) - what I'm saying is recovery is based on experiencing emotions and not reading other peoples words - via LS and other forms of addiction one can stunt the healing process by not living in the present moment / experience ..... to me that's where we heal
Author ahhhchooo Posted January 15, 2009 Author Posted January 15, 2009 Your story is inspirational... thank you for posting that. I am just in the beginning of my breakup..still living with him until I move back home to PA in 2 weeks. It is hard already..let alone leaving for good. I too, cant get out of bed..cant eat or face the day. I cannot concentrate on anything without thinking of it all. What was..what ifs..what could have been. I am going to miss him like crazy.. but I pray and hope in due time...that I will heal and maybe he will come back to me...even if I am in PA. He pursued me once...I hope he would do it again. Anyway..I am glad you feel better! Keep going on! I am happy for you. The what-ifs are the hardest part to dismiss... life's too short and a decision must be made somewhere when something is a lost cause. Thinking about what 'could be' with someone better makes me realise that with her, it was really over. The trust was shattered and nothing could ever have restored the same strong feelings we once had. Those feelings can come around again with someone else, in due time. People are right.. LS coping is great but I decided I needed time away from the board to really get away from the entire problem and stop dwelling on her/loneliness. Like ex's from years gone by, there will always be a small piece of my heart for her. I wish her the best, I really do. Despite all she did, she was only misguided and deserves her own happiness - doesn't everyone?
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