whoknows1 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I'm 19 years old and have a girlfriend of 3 years. We on the whole have a great relationship and I love spending time with her. The only problem in our relationship is sex. We were sexually inactive, by her choice,for the first year and a bit and that didn't bother me a bit. I respected her not being ready for sex and just enjoyed the other aspects of relationship. Once we became sexually active it was good for about a month. Then came about a year long break which confused and frustrated me. She had reasons or excuses the whole time like "I'm too busy with school to worry about sex" and "I'm out of the pill, and don't trust condoms" as well as a so called pregnancy scare when her period was late, although we hadn't had sex for a couple months and she'd had her period since. We started having sex again, but ever since it's been few and far between. Once a month I guess. By no means have my needs been met but I don't know what to do. I'm becoming very frustrated with our sex life and I feel like I'm a jerk for being like this and letting my frustration show when I'm with her. I feel like I'm being petty but at the same time I read stuff by professionals saying that it's legitimate for me to want my needs to be met. I just don't know what to do about it all. Any help would be appreciated.. Thanks
malika Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 It's possible that she has insecurities about sex, especially given her age. I think you should try to have a conversation with her about this, not addressing it in the way "My needs aren't being met," but rather asking if there is something underlying in her refusal to have sex. I also think that when two people start dating at such a young age, the individuals are more inclined to change and have new priorities in life. It could be that she really is more interested in other things besides your relationship, which is something that would also need discussion.
Author whoknows1 Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 It's possible that she has insecurities about sex, especially given her age. I think you should try to have a conversation with her about this, not addressing it in the way "My needs aren't being met," but rather asking if there is something underlying in her refusal to have sex. I also think that when two people start dating at such a young age, the individuals are more inclined to change and have new priorities in life. It could be that she really is more interested in other things besides your relationship, which is something that would also need discussion. Both very good points. As for the first one, we had lots of talks about sex before we ever had sex for the first time. Many of the talks were about working out those insecurities and I tend to think we've gone past that for the most part. I could be wrong though. Thanks for your help.
dazedconfused Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Tell her doctors recommend sex once a week to maintain a healthy heart and your family has a long line of heart failure... lol But on another note, its not something i would try to push onto her too much otherwise it might just disappear completely i would say reason she has cut back on the sex is because to her its not appealing. Which means she either isn't enjoying the sex (inwhich case try some new things with it) or its not something of interest to her.. However u wanna look at it thats how it is for her the negatives of sex out weigh the positives whatever those may be for her.
Author whoknows1 Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 Yeah, I see what you mean. Thanks.
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