emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 She's in a new relationship and I dont know what to do. I was actually holding onto hope but now I guess not. I didn't even find out for myself my friends had to tell me. I dunno what to do. Please help me. Please
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 It's been a month she cheated and now she's in a relationship. I'm hurt. I'm not over it. What do I do? I'm scared and hurt and I dont know what to do.
Knight_Ctrl Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 you really cant do anything man......same **** happened here. You just have to do what you can to keep moving forward. ****s real hard but try your best. You've always got us friend.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 3 years~! we were together for 3 years. How can she be over me already? How?
LostLamb Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I know how you feel. I was with my ex for 3 years . We split Dec and he had new partner by christmas day. I don't know how we will recover, I don't know when I will next wake up to a day full of memories and questions. Life seems very unfair at the moment.
GloryDays Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I'm so sorry to hear this. This is my biggest fear (all of ours, I'd imagine). The only thing you really can do at this point is try to accept that she's moved on and keep telling yourself you need to move on to improve your quality of life. If you live in the past you aren't living. Think of it this way! Now the hard part is over, the worst has happened. All you can do now is heal and move on from this. You don't have to hold on to that hope and anxiety anymore...now you can direct your focus on yourself and what will make YOU happy. Eliminate her from the picture of your happiness. You have to start living again...
foxh1234 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 3 years~! we were together for 3 years. How can she be over me already? How? She is not over you, she is just jumping into another relationship to mask her pain and try and forget about you. You are dealing with your pain now and she will face the pain down the road, you can count on that. Take care of yourself and go complete and instant NC. Do not stay in contact. Show her your strong and can overcome this. Good luck man
LostLamb Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 She is not over you, she is just jumping into another relationship to mask her pain and try and forget about you. You are dealing with your pain now and she will face the pain down the road, you can count on that. Take care of yourself and go complete and instant NC. Do not stay in contact. Show her your strong and can overcome this. Good luck man I read elsewere on Loveshack that a rebound relationship can be the real thing. I would put money on my ex still being with his new partner a year from now.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 How can you get over someone so easily. We talked about marriage and everything and now she's with some other guy who lives closer to home then I do. I don't know why this is happening to me, I thought I was a good person
GloryDays Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I honesty don't know how to get over someone so easily. Everyone in my life tells me to "just get over it" and expects that I should be after everything but I can't. New guys try to pursue me and it only makes me think of my ex more. I am really sorry. I don't know if this is her rebound or if she's truly moving on. Wish I could help you. Just keep talking to us as much as you need to.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 She broke up with me after she cheated on me. She said she wanted it to work but yet she still went and saw the guy she cheated on me with. I wasnt going to deal with that and I told her it was over. So about a month later she's with this new guy and I'm crushed. I dont feel like I broke up with her, I think she tryed her hardest to get me to break up with her because she didnt want to do it herself. And now she's like totally over me and I'm not over her.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 anybody? Suggestions how I'm suppost to handle this. Like what immediate action should I take.
kizik Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 She is not over you, she is just jumping into another relationship to mask her pain and try and forget about you. You are dealing with your pain now and she will face the pain down the road, you can count on that. Take care of yourself and go complete and instant NC. Do not stay in contact. Show her your strong and can overcome this. Good luck man Good post fox, adding to this I would also say that it is unhealthy for you to be caring about what she does and who she sees. You need to man up and try not to worry about her. It's her life now. Her business. Sounds harsh but it's the God's-honest-truth and you need to stay away from her for her sake, as well as yours.
kizik Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 anybody? Suggestions how I'm suppost to handle this. Like what immediate action should I take. The best action to take with someone who doesn't want you, or like you, or love you or want to have anything to do with you... is to leave them the f*ck alone and don't talk to them and to take no action whatsoever.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 I havent taken any action. I've gone NC for almost a month now. I have deleted her as much from my life as possible and yet she is still effecting me this way. Deleted her from myspace, from facebook, from AIM. And still word gets to me about this and I'm still effected by it. I dont understand. I just want something that will get her out of my head
DSM-IV Tom Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 To the guy who said rebounds can be the real thing? No. My first gf was in a new relationship 1 month after our break up. That was a rebound. Although she stayed with the new guy for a year, he would frequently (against MY will) txt mssg me telling me she won't stop talking about me. I told him to f off countless times (and even ignored him). He eventually cheated on her lmao. Don't listen to bs about rebounds working. They don't.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 Is it wrong for me to want him to break her heart like she did mine? I really want the worst life possible for her sometimes. I never knew I could be hurt like she hurt me but now I pretty much hate her
GoneButNotForgotten Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Anger is part of the healing process. Well not for everyone, but for a lot of us. I personally felt joy in watching the NCAA football championship. My ex goes to OU and is a major fan. Knowing that Florida spoiled the hopes gave me a huge smile. You don't really want the worst for her. You want her to feel the pain that you are going through. It doesn't matter if she does or does not though. As much as you don't want to admit it. You have to suck it up. Yes it sucks. I woke up this morning dreaming of my ex with another guy. (i have no idea if she is or not, never bothered to check) It hurt me really bad. This is about a week after being in an almost constant good mood. I calmed myself down, reevaluated what I still had and moved on. You have to find something that keeps your mind occupied. Go do something you always wanted to but were afraid to do. Take a chance on life. I felt like I lost the biggest part to my life when she dumped me. But as I look back on it. It isn't the worst thing to ever happen and there are other people. I'm going to leave you a quote from a song that I really enjoy. "Without you, I live it up a little more everyday Without you, I’m seein myself so differently I didn’t wanna believe it then But it all worked out in the end When I watched you walk away Well I never thought id say I’m fine Without you" Hinder - Without You
LostLamb Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 It is all very well saying you shouldn't care that your ex is seeing someone new but this is real life . It hurts because we loved them and probably still do. To talk about marriage and children with someone you love then a month later they are with someone new is the cruelest joke. Time is the only healer but people are different . I think it is ridiculous jumping into a new relationship when you have recently ended a long term relationship ,but it hurts more if you sit there hoping it is just a rebound .
sinkerswim Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I would also like to believe that she isnt over you..I really dont think she is.. she is probably just finding someone to "fill that void" for now and in the end..it might not work out. It will catch up to her eventually. For now though..with you..I can understand your pain. Oh God..trust me.. My boyfriend who ended with me..but Im still living here..until I can move out in 2 weeks..was talking to someone on the phone. IT HURTS LIKE HELL. To my knowledge..they havent talked on the phone now in a couple nights. Maybe its just a friend..or whoever. But it hurts and I DONT WANT TO KNOW. I feel like I can barely breathe. I just want this relationship to take a drastic turn and have him tell me to not leave..that he wants me to stay and we would work on it. Its all I want. All I wanted was him...we had the world for awhile. Now he is unhappy and wants to end it. So..I know the pain. I cant even move in the morning. I cant eat or think. So Im here with you. We are all here for each other.
amerikajin Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I havent taken any action. I've gone NC for almost a month now. I have deleted her as much from my life as possible and yet she is still effecting me this way. Deleted her from myspace, from facebook, from AIM. And still word gets to me about this and I'm still effected by it. I dont understand. I just want something that will get her out of my head It takes time, but the first thing you have to do is to accept that she's gone. Once you accept it, once you can accept that this is the way things are going to be, you can begin picking up the pieces. The truth is, she didn't really "cheat" so much as she did move on to another guy without giving you much warning. If she had cheated, she would still be maintaining the appearances of having a relationship with you while seeing him behind your back. She might have gotten the sequence of breaking up with you and hooking up with him out of order, but the bottom line is that she did move on. This happens. You just have to accept it and deal with it. You can't convince her that she did you wrong. I think you should try to look at this from a positive angle. Consider this: it's better that she moved on now while you aren't married than to live a lie which would have been exposed eventually and caused a lot more drama and made both of your lives a lot more complicated than they are now. You see her now for who she is: someone who cannot commit to you. There is a very good possibility that she might try to come back to you at some point. Make sure you keep the door closed on her forever. If you want a distant friendship somewhere down the line, that's one thing, but don't let her creep back into your life while you're vulnerable. I think it's best to avoid her until you actually recover and begin dating someone else. If you ever do become acquainted again, make sure you set firm boundaries for your sake and your future girlfriend's sake as well. Good luck.
Author emotionalydistraugt Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 Last night she contacted me for the first time in over a month. I kept the conversation very simple and I wouldnt have even responded if she wouldn't have told me her grandpa was sick. I asked about him and told her I wished her family the best but she had no right to contact me and I didn't know what she expects from me. I told her I knew of her new relationship and she should be talking to him about this and not me. She never really acknowledged it so I dont know. She said she loves me and always will no matter what I think but I didn't give it a second thought and I just ended the conversation. I dont really know what to take from her contacting me 2 days after she made it "official" with this new guy. I dont know where to go or what to do. I feel bad because now I have to go back to no contact and I'm upset I just didnt reply but if I wouldnt have replyed I would have regretted it in the long run I think.
vanilla87 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 She's in a new relationship and I dont know what to do. I was actually holding onto hope but now I guess not. I didn't even find out for myself my friends had to tell me. I dunno what to do. Please help me. Please Well why we're you holding out on her anyway? did she still want you back or no?
durotto Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Last night she contacted me for the first time in over a month. I kept the conversation very simple and I wouldnt have even responded if she wouldn't have told me her grandpa was sick. I asked about him and told her I wished her family the best but she had no right to contact me and I didn't know what she expects from me. I told her I knew of her new relationship and she should be talking to him about this and not me. She never really acknowledged it so I dont know. She said she loves me and always will no matter what I think but I didn't give it a second thought and I just ended the conversation. I dont really know what to take from her contacting me 2 days after she made it "official" with this new guy. I dont know where to go or what to do. I feel bad because now I have to go back to no contact and I'm upset I just didnt reply but if I wouldnt have replyed I would have regretted it in the long run I think. I would say maintain NC .. I mean she did move on ... and she is the one who made the choice to do so .. not you .. You need to be strong .. I guess that by being the better person maybe you can ask how he is.. but I would not recommend it . She is no longer a part of your life and neither is her family .. you need to understand that .. Besides what happens if after this problem goes away and she suddenly likes someone else .. then where will you be ?
durotto Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Also when a girl is silent when you ask her about a guy and she just says nothing .. It MEANS YES !!! it means yes she likes him and wants to stay him .. She just does not want to say anything to you .. Trust me I know .. I saw my ex and I kept on asking her about her new bf .. and she never said anything .. but I knew .. could see it in their eyes ..
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