kimba75 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 So I know what you are saying...how could I allow myself to sleep with my co-worker. The answer is because he's hot, and I find him so completely irresistible it's tearing me up in side. He's amazing. Or so I thought. I just got this job and moved to this country about 3 months ago. My co-worker has been flirting with me since day one and all of the sexual tension came to a head at the work Xmas party. We made out and I refused to sleep with him. 2 nights later I caved and we slept together. Once at his house, and mine a few days later. I then noticed that something just "switched off" and he no longer considered me a dating option for whatever reason, that I will never understand probably. He still texts but he's cold and distant and didn't ask me out last weekend. I foolishly texted him at 11pm Friday and asked him to come out to this club I was at with friends. He didn't answer until the next day and said he was asleep and then didnt' ask me out for Saturday. I'm so pathetic. He sits in the adjoining office and I have to see and hear him all day long. I'm miserable and he just goes on like it was nothing, like we are good friends. He texts me to just check in, but I know he doesn't feel the same. I'm so pissed at myself for caving in and having sex with him. I really tried, but everyone was drunk and I figured what the hell? I'm torn between wondering if he's really an ******* or if this is just what people do here in Europe, casual sex? I'm not sure how to get this guy outta my head since I work with him. I had to draft some papers for him today and just didn't even want to have anything to do with him. How am I gonna forget about this guy? Should I quit?
mr.dream merchant Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 And this is why some females can't have casual sex. Because they get attached and the male....well he moves on lol. I wouldn't call him a douche bag at all. He was just having good fun. He probably realizes that you're getting attached and wants to stray away from that which I don't blame him for if he just wanted some fun casual sex. Maybe he could've filled you in on it instead of being a bit cold but he's nowhere near in the wrong for doing what he did. Why casually **** him if you have feelings for him? Or why assume that there's something more than just sex behind his actions and set yourself up for failure? This is what I don't get about females and casual sex. Some do it with the assumption that the guy they are participating with wants more out of the relationship than just sex thus setting themselves up for heart-ache and further making males out to look like *******s. Not fair at all.
bean1 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Wow, been there. Turns out he had a girlfriend, was a serial dog, and I was one of quite a few of other girls (in the same office! Overheard it from others). Chalk it up to experience, that you were used for sex (ouch - I know it hurts), and move on with your life by ignoring him and don't talk about it to anyone (at work), ever. He probably won't either. It may take a very long time to get over. I didn't quit at the time (a few years ago), but I eventually did. It's a hard thing to get over. It hurts.
O'Malley Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Limit your contact with him as much as you can. Ignore his texts/phone calls and only talk to him if it's work related; act polite but disinterested when you do have to deal with him. If he tries to chat with you about personal issues, just smile and let him know you don't want to discuss it. I definitely second Bean1's advice about not discussing this with coworkers. Chalk it up to dealing with the office tool (in more ways than one) and keep your personal and professional lives separate. Get out and have fun in London! .
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