mika Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Okay, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 months. I am very much in love with him. I can not believe that I am so lucky to have such an honest, stand-up man. He is my age (27). He is so down to earth. And we really click and get eachother. He tells me how lucky he is to have me and is always telling me how i am the best girlfreind ever and that he loves my smile and that i am so beautiful and sucha good woman. He says that he smiles when he sees me and all these great things. when he looks at me it feels so real. like he is looking at ME! I finally told him that i love him and he basically said that that was something pretty serious to say. he acted like i wasn't sure i knew what i was saying. He never said it back. He was extremely loving the next day and held me close all day. He hasn't acted wierd toward me or anything which i kind of expected, but I do't understand why he hasn't told me he loves me. I really feel love from him just haven't heard the words. He practically lives with me and he might as well. I hknow he was hurt pretty bad by the girl he was with right before me but it really hurts that he won't admit his feelings to me. I am scared to say it again even though i have to fight against it because i truly do love him. I am scared to bring it up again because i do not want to lose what i have with him. he is the best man i have ever been with and can't imagine being with anyone else. HELP!
sunshinegirl Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I had a similar situation about a year ago. I loved my boyfriend and we had been dating for over six months with no ILY from either of us. I finally told him I loved him and while he kissed me and had a loving look on his face, he didn't reciprocate... which stressed me out but it seemed all his actions showed love so I decided that it didn't matter. After all, he had been terribly hurt by his ex-wife. In the end, it did matter. Ours was a particularly brutal ending (he lied and cheated) which I'm not at all saying will happen with you, but the crucial thing was that he said he didn't love me, and hadn't I noticed that he never said I love you? I think I would just tread carefully and not let your heart get too far ahead of where his may be. I wouldn't so easily dismiss his unwillingness or inability to say the words I love you. While some men just have a hard time saying it, other men don't say it because they don't feel it.
Frankasy Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I completely understand you. I've suffered the same um well pain if you could name it when I haven't had an "I love you" back. But don't panic. The reason is pretty much obvious, I mean you're both 27, mature in other words and he was hurt by his previous gf, in other words he was attached to her but their relationship didn't have a perfect ending and he got hurt which means that it was an emotional relationship. Now suddenly you turn up into his life, he's a little bit surprised, perhaps scared that he might get hurt again but also thinks that you might be the one. That's why he might be a little reserved with the big words, he's still studying you, to see if he can really say those to you without getting hurt after. I'm pretty sure that when you said those words his heart started to beat faster, he might have changed his face expression but didn't say anything due to the joy. Inside he probably must have felt really happy and now he's probably waiting for the next moment to come so that he can say the 3 words you told him back but don't rush it. After you have had a nice time with him, just try to slip it(The 'I love you' phrase) in again and he'll probably say the same. If he doesn't than just be honest with him, tell him all the positive thoughts you have for him, everything you basically wrote here and ask him why he isn't saying it back but I repeat only do this if he doesn't say 'I love you' again, after the second time. Good luck.
JamesM Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 It took me about four months to tell my then girlfriend that I loved her. To me this was serious just as it is to your bf. Did I love her already? Yes without a doubt. I wanted to be sure that I knew it. To me this was the step before marriage. I had never told a girl that I loved her prior to that day. And that girlfriend became my wife. That day was over twenty years ago, and I can say that I still mean it. I should probably tell her again someday, huh?
Meaplus3 Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 It's very possible that he may just not be ready. You mentioned he was hurt by a girl in the past.. so he just might have a wall up. I'd give it sometime. Instead of saying I love you again , for now I'd simply show your affection and fondness in other ways. See how it goes. Good luck. Mea:)
pro127 Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 im a little younger but i was dating for a month and still am and i said it to her one night the "i love you" and she just kinda said oh ya i am crazy for this girl and i was really worried so i talked to an experinced friend and she told me as long as she knows i love her then thats all that matters she has said she loves me before in a text or on facebook but never in person so i am giving her a little time
Author mika Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 That is so very sweet! Make sure you tell her. You seem like a winner so, i'm sure you do.
Author mika Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 Thanks. I just hope that the vibes i'm getting from here are truly what they seem and not me just hoping.
Author mika Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 It's very possible that he may just not be ready. You mentioned he was hurt by a girl in the past.. so he just might have a wall up. I'd give it sometime. Instead of saying I love you again , for now I'd simply show your affection and fondness in other ways. See how it goes. Good luck. Mea:) You're right. And I really think that he likes knowing it because the next day, like I said before, he was extremely affectionate and held me all day. He didn't say anything, but I felt it. Its like he wanted me to know that he cares deeply. And He hasn't shied away at all or been wierd or anything of the sort. He told me the other day that he is so glad that we are together... 100%. I just don't want to give him too much for too long. That will tear me down, I think.
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