durotto Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Hi, I am having lots of problems with NC in office ., As you are all aware my ex, her new bf and I are all in the same office , same floor , tables apart .. a) I know that they are furtively talking on MSN , Skype or phone (when one goes home the other calls and they then talk) .. it is painful to really watch it .. and feel that these are things I used to with her and now she is with him .. and is doing this with him .. We used to be in the same circle of friend colleagues .. you know group of colleagues who hang out together .. my other two friend colleagues are unaware of the ex and her new bf becoming a couple and they keep on asking me to join them in lunch or after lunch gossip, or just normal small talk .. I have till now always avoided this .. but today the other two just forced me to come with them and sit with them at lunch .. things were quite frosty .. but later on she warmed up to him and they started to flirt with each other in front of us .. Broke my heart .. I of course was all laughing without a care in the world.. but internally I was cut up in a million pieces.. I know that there is no way back but ... I still feel sad.. b) Our office colleagues always make fun of my ex and her new bf (just fun as office relations are not allowed and no one knows that they really are a couple ) .. Before while my ex and I were a couple I never cared .. now when ever I hear it mu blood boils and I have trouble focusing on my work .. I mean there is a limit as to how much I can keep the headphones on my ear .. What do I do ?
CaliGuy Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Find another job, personally. That's what I'd do. In the meantime, try to keep in mind that you really don't have any control over the situation - just yourself. I'm in the same situation but don't see them often so it's no big deal, really. When I do see them I just ignore them and do my own thing. What they are doing has no impact on my life.
Frankasy Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Man what are you, a girl or something? Big deal if your ex is in the same place as you along with her bf, be strong and let them know that you're a dude, that you don't care if your ex flirts with her bf in front of you or if they talk on MSN. WTF you give them the impression that you cry inside for her. All sorts of lame excuses to avoid your colleges, just tell them that you broke up with your gf and she's history now, don't feel sad or heart broken, even if she was your soul mate now she's with another and more importantly she's with another guy and they do all their couple stuff in front of you. Basically she doesn't care about you, so why are you putting yourself through all type of crap for her? And no, don't change your job cause of them. Next thing you know you'll hide behind your wife's dress when you get married. Seriously stand up for yourself. Go back there, act normally, be yourself, be cool. you and your ex will start a "Cold War" with each other but there's no other way out. In fact the war has already started and she's winning, making you suffer badly in fact. Get a gf for yourself, take her to work sometime to counter your ex. Make her realize that she doesn't mean nothing to you. Start to be different even if you don't really like it or if different things don't suit you, just in front of her. Start acting like a hot shot, start smoking, to let her know that you're the man. Seriously.
Author durotto Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 Hmm good advice from both of you .. Leaving office is not an option . neither is picking up just anyone as a gf .. but I am going to act and be a lot stronger from now on .. thanks ..
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