D-Jam Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I can't understand why anyone even fathoms the idea of someone when they clearly see that someone has a boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe it's me, but I don't think about "stealing" or even fantasize about "saving" someone. I see a girl has a BF, then no matter how cool I think she is, she's off limits in my book. I am not even thinking about "respecting a man's RL" as much as not wasting time on someone who could act all into me one minute, then I make a move and it's "I have a boyfriend". Why ask the question when you know the answer? He has a girlfriend. She has a boyfriend. You know it's not going to happen. Move on. Am I missing something here?
likestolaugh Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 agreed. Unless it's really obvious the person is being seriously abused or something....
norajane Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I think some people are fooled by flirtation and the attention someone pays them. They figure if someone is flirting, they must not be into their bf/gf so much and will break up soon. Or, they figure, hey, they're not married, so they're fair game...people break up all the time. But, that's not true. A lot of people flirt with others because it's fun, and they enjoy the flattering attention. They have no intention of leaving their bf/gf's. It's just an ego stroke for them.
Joyvke Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 If I know they got a girlfriend I walk away. No matter how big my crush is.
prettybaby Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Same for me. Someone who's taken is a major turn off lol It's like an instant cold shower switch as far as I'm concerned.
O'Malley Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 They figure if someone is flirting, they must not be into their bf/gf so much and will break up soon. Or, they figure, hey, they're not married, so they're fair game...people break up all the time. Probably the biggest reason...add to it the typical rationalizations about why their situation is unique, why the rules don't apply to their situation, etc. There are people who seem to continually seek out taken individuals. Either they get an ego boost from believing they can 'steal' someone, or they prefer a relationship where they know the other person can't expect a full, public commitment from them.
LostLamb Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I think some people like drama . I've never cheated or fallen for someone with a partner , life is complicated enough. I have wondered if dating people in relationships means you are less likely to get hurt ,seeing as you know the rules from the start. Probably not!
blind_otter Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I don't think in absolutes, most of the time. You just don't know where life will take you. I often think about what I would have missed out on in my life if I hadn't been open to various possibilities.
kashmir Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 If I automatically shut out any girl who has any kind of boyfriend, then I'd be left with very very few girls. Almost every female has some kind of relationship with a man at any given time. There's no such thing as one of them being single. That's why you can't automatically walk the other way when you hear about a boyfriend.
Author D-Jam Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 Meh...the way I see it, if she's calling a guy "my boyfriend" then she's off limits. If she's having a terrible RL with him, then I'd see her as weak because she won't end it and look for better. Plus in many ways, if she were to suddenly end what appears to be a good RL to get with me, then I'd wonder how soon she would dump me for someone else. Now if she's "just seeing someone", then it's fair game in my book. I just think that when I see exclusivity has been established, then that person is off limits...even if they are in a bad RL or lost all interest. If they want to be single and date around, then end the current one. If it meant less options for me, then I see it more as less drama and the ones I do find are possibly the more serious ones. I just think it's a pointless venture to even fathom someone when they're in an EXCLUSIVE relationship with someone. Maybe it's also because I want the dating world to become a little more "black and white". Let them know they either can stay in the RL they don't like or venture into being single and possibly find better. None of this "testing the waters and seeing if he/she is worth me dumping my current for" crap.
Adamagnet Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I can't understand why anyone even fathoms the idea of someone when they clearly see that someone has a boyfriend or girlfriend. I admit to being an occasional relationship scavenger. A vulture can tell when the relationship is near death.
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