We broke up, then he led me on for four months, and now it kills.

[belend52]

Me and my ex broke up at the beggining of june, and because i still liked him and didnt belive we had finished everything we needed to do in a relationship, i told him i wanted him back and that i regreted breaking up with him. He said he still liked me and that maybe we would get back and that we need some time apart, thing is he never once said that we would never get back together.

 

Yesterday we decided to sort things out, and he totaly chikend out and kept saying he didnt know, and then finaly he said no we would never get back and that he doesnt like me andymore. This hit me like a ton of bricks, and i didnt know what to do, i cried consistently for 3 hours wich realy sucks, though i did cry befor for ages when we 1st broke up, this time it was dioferent, because i knew that we will never get back and that ill never touch him again.

 

I know ive got to keep myself busy and stuff, like that, but it realy hurts and i thought he was the one, but everything he said was a lie.

 

I dont understand how someone can do that to a person its so cruel, i waited and actualy thought we were going to get back even his mates said we had a chance.

 

Im not sure what im asking, mainly its, at the end of october he is comeing down to visit his brother for a week, bearing in mind this is only a month away and he still want to be friends realy bad, im scared how i will react, and need to know what would be the best thing to do when around him. Maybe i can be friends with him, but its hard because i still love him and hes evil and i hate him, strange i no.

 

Basicly, sorry how long this is, i could have written more but as im not sure what im asking because im a bit mixed up at the moment and in a lot of pain that i didnt know exsisted.

 

Anyway, i will aprishate any help, thankyou, i know i babbled a bit. sorry. O and its my b'day on thursday, wich realy sucks because of this.

[MercyRose]

It does hurt to feel that everything he said was a lie.

 

It hurts even more when you thought he was 'the one'.

 

What hurts is that there was a promise for the future that was made in the past. But in the present it all feels like a lie. He did not intend to lie. He just changed his mind.

 

People are allowed to change their minds, and you have to accept that in the present he doesn't believe you are 'the one' for him anymore. Somewhere along the line something changed.

 

It doesn't matter what the reasons are although everyone with a broken heart would love to know.

 

Just know that its nothing you did or didn't do and that you are a wonderful person who deserves someone who fully loves and desires to be with you exactly the way you are. Someone who cares about you and wants you to be happy, lets you grow in the relationship, admires you and wants to share his life with you.

 

 

What you need for now is:

• 
  Acceptance-accept the reality and accept his right not to want you, and his right to a life of his own-without you.
   
  Time to grieve and heal-don't fight it, cry whenever you want, talk to lots of people about it.
   
  A desire to move on
   
  And to imagine a new future for yourself
   
  Make a new life plan, join a new class, a health club, socialize.
   
  Imagine meeting someone who believes you are 'the one' for him one day in the future. Believe he is out there.
  

If its at all possible cut contact with him, don't be friends. You will move on and heal much faster. Choosing to keep contact and try and be friends with someone you love and desire romantically who doesn't want you in that way is like choosing slow agony and prolonged pain.

 

You will not move on with this choice and will suffer a great deal of pain for a long time, purely through choice.

 

Good luck and have faith and hope in a new and better future.

[powerstorm]

I would aggree with Mercy Rose

 

Breaking up with a loved one is most probably one of the most painful things anyone can go through.

 

"I believe" in no interaction at all, the only way to get over someone that you love is too cut them out of your life completely. Everytime you hear there name, voice, face, it will remind you of the good times.

 

"Its time for change" do all those things that you have wanted to do.

 

When I broke up with my ex I started to write my feelings on paper, and systematically workied through what happened. This can ease the pain.

 

How long were you together. Remember you are both hurting, he might just hide it better then you.

 

"good luck"

[belend52]

we were together for a year and 2 months. i think he was defentently hurting befour because his friends said he seemed hurt in wateva way they said. He even said he wasnt over me just recently. I think i pushed him way to hard and went on and on at him, even yesterday he was still saying he didnt know untill i pushed him for an answer. So maybe of i leave it for a wile and not mention it to him, o i dont know, because it could all blow up in my face like yesterday.

[powerstorm]

What went wrong, what do you love about him, why do you think he is the one, what is it that you always dreamt of having from a man and does he meet the criteria. What can you do to better your life, what are your dreams and what can you do to make them come true.

 

If he loves you he will come back to you, but dont wait for him, carry on with your life.

 

"Let him free and if he comes back it is meant to be" - thats if you still want him

 

There are 2 sides to a broken heart

[belend52]

Well we just drifted apart, more like i ruined it by nagging him all the time, the poor guy, but i didnt realise what i was doing at the time, i wish he would have just told me. as for all the other questions basicly hes perfect for me, hes everything i want in a guy, he changed my type of men i even go for.

 

Yer i should probably just get on with things and if it happends then it happens, and if it doesnt then, well it doesnt, harder than it sound to do, guess im going to have to train myself, tehe.

 

I think at the moment im realy just worid what im going to say or do to him when i do see him in a month, he wants to be friends, but im realy scared that hell blank me.

 

Im sure i will have an overwelming urge to kick him in the balls, he better wear a cap.

 

Thanx.

[MercyRose]

If you were a nag look at the relationship as an experience that showed you your weaknesses so that you can work on them to become a better person.

[powerstorm]

what were you nagging at him about

 

Do you want him back, if so what is it about you that he loves

 

how old are you

[belend52]

i duno, just like wen he was staying over for him 2 come over and stuff, and if he said 5 mins he'd b an hour and id get anoyed when i shouldnt have. I dont know what he likes about me. Im 18.

[powerstorm]

How old is he, is he your first love, what do you like about you, how far from you does he stay

 

Women will always nag (as far as a man is concerned) my gf has nagged about me saying ill be 5 minutes and I was 1 hour. (and I still do it) she asks me to do things i dont and she nags. Its natural and happens in all relationships, he will surely find out about this in time.

 

Do you think this is the main reason.

[belend52]

errrrrrm hes 16 eeek, but definetly mature for his age, and wiser than others his age. Yup he is my first love. I dont like anyhting about me except i always put others 1st i guess. Its a long distence thing, i live in london he lives in manchester, but he has never cheated on me and i know that for a fact.

 

Yes i think that is the main reason, he just got anoyed and fed up. Wich is understandable i guess if i put myself in his shoes. Maybe he wanted to move in and see other girls, i dont know because he hasnt got a girl at the mo, he used to say to his mate, that he needed sum space from my nagging, and he always said he still liked me to his mates and stuff like that. This is very frustrating, i would like to forget him but theres something holding me back, because i still think i have a chance even though i probably dont.

[powerstorm]

I am 31 and at 16 I did not understand relationships and what comes with them. Its definately a time not to be tied down. At that age you want to be with friends and do naughty things. This is not to say that your relationship wont work, its just a difficult age.

 

Things are definately not in your favour, there is distance, he is 16 and you are 18, women are always more mature then men, and he is too young to take any responsibility for his actions. At 16 nagging could irritate, but at 25 its part of the compromise that both parties will need to deal with.

 

I would say it is time for you to grow, the only thing that you like about you is that you put other people first. I dont think that is enough. (what starsign are you)

 

What aren't you happy with yourself.

 

Did you have sex with him, and if so was he your first.

[belend52]

yer i do understand what you are saying and its all right, but still i want him tehe. Im a libra, yer i did and yes he was.

[powerstorm]

what starsign is he.

 

If you want him back then you need to use you strongest tool and that is s*x

 

Do you want to know more

[belend52]

hes a pisces wich i no doesnt go well with libra. Yer sure i wana know more, tehe.

[hunterboyhun]

hey,

i feel a bit like i'm at an AA meeting... i'm here because someone i cared about left my life. So i'm trawling these posts looking for something to make me feel better.

I happened upon your post.

 

My best friend is an Aquarius and his GF of many many years is a Libran.

If you believe in Astrolgy at all then my advice to you is look out for an Aquarian guy. I've seen other Aquarius/Libra matches work very well.

 

I hope at least that these words give you a sense of possibility in the future.

 

Bless.