Peter_pan Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Those of you who know my story, for some reason i want to add her to my msn or fb, prob msn first so that we could talk or something... :s i guess i miss her, im not angry at her anymore. just sad that things ended the way they did between us and obviously i felt like poop and betrayed. being with some one for 3 years who was your first everything and whom i lived with, for them to go out into another relationship 3 weeks after ours and still be with that guy is pretty hurtful and i find it pretty strange to as if to think like "surely not". when she first told me it was through email and when i spoke to her on the telephone she said it was nothing serious... i still dont get why she was telling me that.. i waited for her to come back or to hear she was no longer with him but still i got nothing from her. even after reaching out. and i know of 2 occasions they split up, and the one time she asked a friend of mine how i was, whats my number, and if i was moving back to where we used to live. however, looking back at that, i beleive this was to purely elevate her own guilt on how she had handled things... i know this because i saw her at xmass for first time in a year and asked why she had ignored me, she tried telling me she lost my number and that she wanted to talk but heard i was happy and she didnt want to because she thought i still wanted her back.. she is in light contact with my sister and my best friend, and as far as i know her sister and brother have blocked me from there msn. would it be to painful to speak to someone whom you shared everything with and to know its gone and that there happy living with the "new guy"
malibustacydoll Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I do not know your story too well other than what you have posted her. From what I gather she cheated on you or you broke up and she immediately moved onto another guy. I think you're trying to find any way to get back into her life at this point. I understand where you're coming from and I have been there. I have broken up with exes and then been through the anger stage of blocking them and deleting them from everything online. Once that gets boring and you can't see what they are doing anymore there is a huge urge to add them back and try talking to them. I do not suggest this at all. If she wanted to talk to you then she would. She is with someone new now and you would only be doing what the other guy did to you and you should be the better man and step back. You are only kidding yourself if the reason you want to talk to her is just to talk. It seems like you're hoping you could start talking to her and she would realize she made a mistake and miss you. Don't set yourself up for heartbreak because this probably will not happen and it may even make things worse. It will also make you seem needy and most girls do not like this. I would leave things be. I would wait at least a year after the breakup before you even talk to her again. Also, I am not a huge fan of being with someone and them talking to their exes. She is with someone and you are her ex. It drives me batty when my boyfriend's ex is always trying to contact him via facebook and what have you. He just thinks she is annoying at this point. Don't be the annoying ex.
Author Peter_pan Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 thanks for that, some good pointers. it has been a year since we split which is when i saw her and had my say on how horrible she was to me. and yeah she moved on right away after the break up. yes it was mutual we both agreed we argued to much etc but i wanted us to work etc but she moved on instead and i cant understand how someone can do that! also i dont think it was mainly him although he obviously had an influence. but she also had a choice. its hard because we grew up together, to young to handle a serious relationship (living together) but now she is living with him has a good job, at uni studying a smart subject, has a house. cause her dad is basically wealthy. when you argue with someone is it really right to just end it and never look back? i dont understand why we couldnt have sorted it out. i know we said we would try and it didnt work, but thats because she never bothered imo.
Surfer Dude Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Let it go man. If she had wanted to be with you, she never would've left. She destroyed a 3yr relationship and a couple of weeks later spread her legs to some idiot she had just met. Do you really want to have that kind of "friend" who stabbed you in the heart and devalued everything you held dear? I say leave it in the past.
Author Peter_pan Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 i hear you on that surferdude, and ive excepted what she did/how she handled it was ****e for me, but ive forgiven her for it (in my own mind, she dosnt no it cause i shouted at her when i last saw her ), i cant change the past. but i feel responsible for the relationship crashing but not responsible for it to burn. I realized what i had done wrong analyzed everything at every angle but sadly it was to little to late. i had no idea she would move on with this new guy, he is older, shorter, uglier than me, but i guess he has money. and obviously she loves him now. they must have had some really strong attraction for each other as i thought she would never leave me and i thought if she did she certainly wouldn't go off with some other guy like that. such a strong feeling of betrayal and disbelief. Maybe i was being to big headed to believe that she would regret it and be missing me and want to work things out, especially after everything i had said, or that we had been through. and at first she did miss me and want me, before she met him. she wanted us to work but needed space, but i still had doubts cause i believed the grass would be greener, and also since she was my first serious gf so how would i know she is the one (thats what was on my mind) plus we were arguing and she really drove me mad at times. and i guess i was the one who missed the boat in the respect that i didnt take it seriously, thats probably why i carry a pain, call it regret, i dont know. huffff
EmperorR Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Man forget the friendship, do you really want someone like that as your friend?
Author Peter_pan Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 yeh i know man, i dont really, but because of obviously what we had it dosnt make sense not to be. but then you are totally right. its like i would love to be here friend or at least keep in touch in some form or another but because of how stuff happened its impossible, and now all this time has passed its like whats the point sucks so much. makes me mad
malibustacydoll Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 There were probably more reasons than fighting. It sounds like she was over the relationship a lot more quickly and may have been the one to intiate the break up in the first place. I think since you have made it a year it has to be getting easier at this point. You have made a lot of steps forward-- adding or messaging her will take you back a few steps. Don't do that. Even think about it from the new guy's perspective. If you were dating a girl would you want her exes trying to be buddy buddy with her? No. Don't do it to the other guy regardless of how much you may dislike him.
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