rainshine Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I broke up with him for almost a year now. We were together for almost four years. We were NC for five months and decided to be friends. I would call him sometimes and we still talk 4 times in a month. He still calls me and just this week he came over to see me. We talked for almost two hours about his travels and my life now. I don't know why I'm still nice to him, I gave him a small gift for x'mas and some cookies that I baked. So, I thought I'm feeling alright, I still have feelings for him, but we never act like we are still together. We just talk...... But today I found out through a friend that he is interested with his house mate. So, every time I ask him about his plans of taking his certification, he always answered me....I have things to sort my situation in the apartment. I don't know why I feel stupid and hurt??? I guess I feel like a doormat. Because he told me that we can be friends but he has to sort out his living situation and will take awhile. My gut feeling is telling me that he is hoping to have a relationship with this woman and if things doesn't materialize he would come back to me. Or I am imagining things??? Or he is hoping to gain time flirting with her? I feel hurt.....I guess those four years didn't mean anything to him. I guess this an exciting thing for him too....being single again. But why does it hurt???......I want to get over this.....please help.
gldngirl Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. If someone doesn't know what they want, then they don't want what they have. My advice, go back to NC. I was in a 7 year relationship and he wouldn't commit. I left and then suddenly he wanted to be best friends. I was strung along for another 3 years off and on and finally went NC with him and have just now (2 years later) been able to begin dating again comfortably. Avoid my mistakes. Sure he's a great guy and he says all the right things. But let him go, if he hasn't decided by now what he wants, then he's not going to. Be confident in yourself and don't be his fall back girl. Do you really want to be the second choice? Your situation doesn't mean he didn't care during the 4 years he spent with you, he just wants to explore and have you to fall back on it seems. Be strong and cut him off.
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