Ilovetoworry Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Hi guys, new to everything here but I have a bit of a dilemma I need some help with. Ive been overseas in the US for the past few weeks and I've been regularly talking to my girlfriend. We've been together for just over a year and things are great. She's recently had the money and invitations to go out and do some clubbing. I used to have a bit of a jealousy problem with her going at all, but I've been working on that and am somewhat past it. She's very pretty and so she gets guys hitting on her all the time. It doesn't bother me because I know she's faithful and I've seen her tell these guys shes attached. However I know she LOVES dancing, and she went out to a birthday party of a friend of mine a few nights ago, and while telling me about it, she mentioned that she was dancing with a few guys. I had no problem with this because again, I trust her fully. However, she posted up some photos of the night and she had a few photos with some guys with their arms around her (in a friendly sort of way, nothing suggestive), and I made a comment about how that made me slightly uncomfortable, having guys touch her like that. The conversation went on and eventually I was pretty much forced to ask what kind of contact was involved when she was dancing with guys. She mentioned it was the kind where the girl leans back and puts a hand on the guys shoulder to support herself, and he supports her with a hand on her waist. Those of you who know what im talking about (I think) will agree that seeing two people dance like that is fairly provocative and usually looks somewhat sexual. I told her that by the nature of that dancing, in order for it to work, both parties must lean their pelvises in towards each other. I told her that her dancing with other guys like this makes me very uncomfortable, but she didn't seem to see the problem. She thought it was a trust issue with her. I can assure you I trust her not to do anything wrong by me...but I feel like it is a SORT of cheating. That assumption may be a stretch, but I feel it is inappropriate for her to be dancing with another guy in that style. I told her I have no problem (And I dont) with her talking/drinking/chatting with other guys, and dancing next to them, or in their presence is fine. Just to finish, as much as she won't admit it, I know that if I danced with another girl in that way...she wouldn't like it either. We sort of left the conversation in limbo, but I am planning to confront her a little more seriously about it, and see what she honestly thinks. What do you all think? Do I have a valid point here? Or am I just overreacting?
carhill Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 How is she with men away from the dance floor? The overriding vibe here, IMO, should be intent. What's her intent?
Bryanp Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I am just curious but how would she feel if you went clubbing overseas and danced with other women the way she described dancing how she was with other men?
carhill Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Just to finish, as much as she won't admit it, I know that if I danced with another girl in that way...she wouldn't like it either. So, the OP is *assuming* that she wouldn't like it if he was out dancing with other women that way. Time for her to utter the words
Author Ilovetoworry Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 in relation to clubbing overseas...I haven't really gotten the chance, but I was in London for a day or two prior to going to USA, and I met up with a friend and hit a few bars and stuff in London. She didn't seem to mind that, but then again it wasn't really clubbing.
Author Ilovetoworry Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 So, the OP is *assuming* that she wouldn't like it if he was out dancing with other women that way. Time for her to utter the words Yeah I have no proof, but I'm 99.9% sure. She hates swallowing pride, so she tries to avoid admitting it
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