melissa123 Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Ok so my ex and I broke up a little over two months ago. To sum up he had a few issues and didnt treat me that well at all. Firstly he had issues with his sexuality (which I didnt find out until after), Turns out there was something going on with another male :S And he just plain didnt treat me well, eg he was always angry and snapping at me for no reason. It was the small things that got me down like me having a collage interview, and him not even wishing me luck or asking how it went. Infact he never even asked where it was!! When I had exams the same situation would arise. I even broke a bone and when I told him all he did was laugh. He just plain didnt give a **** about me! It was constantly me running around after him trying to take an interest until I couldnt take it anymore. I thought the only thing to do was end it so I tried one night but just couldnt bring myself to do it. He begged and got so upset that I couldnt do it (I Know tell me off) Anyway the following week he would ignore me and snap at me all week until I got sick of it again, I rung him and said I didnt want to break up with him but cant take how he is treating me, I asked if he would try a but harder and he said 'no' and then he broke up with ME!! A week or so later I found out he was now dating my ex goodfriend. Neither bothered to tell me and I had to find out thought the grapevine of their happiness and it hurt like hell! Im sure something went on behind my back although have no proof. They are still together now and really happy. I have heard from him only once since we broke up (ironically asking how an exam went!!) but other than that it has been NC I know he sounds like a monster here but I dont really think hes a bad person. My problem is two months on I still really miss him and if he came back I would probably jump at the chance. Im really unhappy and just cant seem to get him out my head. Why would I still want him after all this? Why do I still miss him? Does this go with time? Thanks (Geisha please be kind!!)
EmperorR Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Because you have or had a connection to them, when you love or care about soemone you look past their faults and love them for who you are. Heck I know anything is better than cheating lying backstabber, but I wanted my ex back for a long long time and sometimes i relapse and want her back.
not_a_happy_camper Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 melissa this sounds all to similar to what happened with me and my ex. we're also broken up 2 months. i thought for a while he was trying get me to break up with him. i'm still not sure, but there was selfish insensitive behaviour for a while. i realise that this all happened, but it's hard not to just remember the good stuff. in the end, we had a huge rift. he had invited me to a family event. we had tiff on phone night before, he got angry..............and then didn't turn up to collect me for family event. didn't contact me for 2 days, and when he did, tried to pretend that nothing had happened. i didnt let him get away with it, went through him for a short cut basically. he'd never seen me angry before, so i'm sure he wasn't expecting it. he was upset, from what i hear from friends. i'm sure it was more a bruise to his ego than anything. anyway, i didn't want to talk to him for a week after i vented. then we tried talking...........didn't work. then i did want to talk to him and he wouldn't talk............he broke up with me. i know i should have talked to him when he wanted to talk. i will own up to that. but it's in the past now. the point is, he hadn't been treating me well for quite some time..............and it feels like the minute i made a fuss about it, he wasn't happy to keep things going. these people aren't good enough for us. but i understand where you're coming from. i know that i'm feeling a hundred times better than that day two months ago. i feel i've come really far. it doesn't stop me wanting him to contact me. or wondering what might have happened. this was my first relationship, and break-up...............so chalking a lot of what happened down to inexperience on my part. and on his too! i don't know that i'd go back to him................unless we could address our issues. even then we might not work. there's been too much hurt. like you i felt i was doing all the running for a long time. it's not a nice place to be. similar in many ways.................i went away with a friend for a week's holiday...........rang him the next night, after texting him all week...........he didn't ask how the holiday was. made no reference to it at all. my dad wasn't well for a while..................he didn't really ask about him. even though he knew how worried i was. in spite of all this, like emperor said, we had a connection. you and your ex had a connection too. HAD being the operative word. let's hope we'll get over the hope together eh?
mm4184 Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 i can relate to both of you i know why my ex is no good for me.. but i can't help but still want him back.. he never cheated or anything like that.. but towards the end when he wanted to end it and i didn't, he DID stay in it for another 2 months but it was so draining to me because i was the only one trying after awhile and THAT was not a fun place to be (limbo).. i tend to focus on all the great things in the relationship but that makes me miss him even more. but then when i think of the end, i get hurt as well just going back to those feelings of him being insensitive and distant.. i don't know how to NOT focus on it at all! it's taken up my mind and i'm trying so many things to get me to stop obsessing but i can't figure out how.. i can't block him from entering my mind everyday. i DO feel better than when we were in limbo and also better from when we first broke up, but it's been almost 4 months and i'm still heartbroken and i still miss him like crazy.. and it sucks knowing he's doing well. like, he put ME through this pain, why can't he go through it too!? although i really would not want him to feel this
Citizen Erased Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Pretty name. I hope it's not your actual name if you want total privacy on here. Anyway, this guy is clearly not good for you. TBH he's a bit of a douche. You're right, he doesn't give a **** about you or he wouldn't have treated you like he did and he certainly would not have hooked up with your friend. This guy is not an option for you. Keep telling yourself that. On the off chance he did come back, he's more than likely only going to break your heart again. As to your questions, I doubt lingering over them will help you.
Sexy Kitty Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 I would take my ex back. I dont know why though. I know what he did to me and going back I know it would always be in the back of my head and I would not fully trust him anyways so in the end it wouldnt be the right thing. Yet, I would still do it. I guess entering into another dose of heartache is what Im looking for! I'm not sure why alot of us would take someone back after them hurting us etc...but yet we do it.
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