Hi Powered Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Ok I am in trouble financially as I have lost my job - credit crunch and all that. An "ex" (well we dated once only but I decided i didnt want to go further - so we kept in contact on and off) is willing to pay my rent plus bills. I think he wants to do this in exchange for a key and as a way to get into my life (and probably my knickers at some point). Ok - I am not going to do this but I cant help thinking it could tide me over. BUT it is quite a lot of money and he insists he would be helping a freind out. It is getting very hard to even get an interview and I do not want to lose my house. What is he really doing this for?
boxing123 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I predict as the economy worsens, many women will resort to arrangements such as you are describing. Many already are. Get into your knickers at some point? LOL Come on..
Geishawhelk Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 You're making an assumption. Thank him very much, and agree, but insist you get a proper contract drawn up because you insist at some point, on paying him back in full. How very kind.... If he starts making overtures, explain that if that's the condition, then you will stop right now. He will then protest and tell you, of course not! so, revert to plan A.
Author Hi Powered Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 thats a scary thought women doing this because they have lost their jobs. kind of like long term prostitution.
Geishawhelk Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I predict as the economy worsens, many women will resort to arrangements such as you are describing. Many already are. Get into your knickers at some point? LOL Come on.. I'd like to see some statistics for that statement. facts? Back 'em up. If opinion is all it is, then say so.
Author Hi Powered Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 I pretty sure he wants more....which gives me a horrible guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach as I know this is fraud....i simply do not find him attractive so nothing will become of this. There will be no "thank you" gesture from my side and he will become an irritant as he will be in my space living with me.
2sunny Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I'd like to see some statistics for that statement. facts? Back 'em up. If opinion is all it is, then say so. check out some of the posts on craigslist popping up in the past 6 months that never used to be there. men stating that they are seeking a benefactor situation... blatantly stating that they will help with bills in exchange for "dating" etc.
boxing123 Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 That's a good point read craigslist. Hundreds of women begging for a place to stay in exchange for???? If you have any sense, do not even consider this offer.
carhill Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I pretty sure he wants more....which gives me a horrible guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach as I know this is fraud....i simply do not find him attractive so nothing will become of this. There will be no "thank you" gesture from my side and he will become an irritant as he will be in my space living with me. Trust your instincts and politely decline. Good karma Talk to your landlord and/or creditors. They'll not be expecting any "favors" in exchange for some flexibility during this difficult time. Hang in there
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Ah, yes...not too long ago I ran across one of those ads on Craigslist in my area. It gave me a good chuckle. The guy was offering free room and board to a woman to come clean, cook, and offer the "GFE." I had never heard the term before - had to look it up. I say don't do it. The cost of your self-respect just isn't worth it...at least it wouldn't be to me.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I don't think you should do it. This dude wants sex in exchange for paying your bills. That is kind of like prostitution when you think about it. It's not worth it IMO...
Author Hi Powered Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 Im not sure that he only wants sex, I am not that hot and he could pay for sex. I think he wants a relationship and this would be a good way to control me. Also, he did this for another girlfreind (she was 19 - he was 35) he let it slip that he brought a flat in a good area and then allowed her to live there. No doubt he would have a key and pop in when he wanted to. He is saying that he would pay my rent and would use the other room as and when he was in the area for work reasons. Something doesnt smell right. He has sensed a vunerability - but he doesnt get it. I am not used to this and it would creep me right out if a man i wasnt in a relationship with was living with me when he felt like it. I dont know how women do this.
carhill Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 "Convenience" Not pervasive but the psychology for some is that the man is a tool to get where they want to go. Some men are quite happy with this arrangement. It's an ego feed.
Recommended Posts