Riffmeister General Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 It was an exercise in relieving my conscience, and I'm glad I did it. It had nothing about how I miss her, how I love her still, asking why she did what she did, not a single question mark in there. No avenue for a response, and in fact, I implied I didn't want one. Just a 'Hm, on reflection, I regret saying that' type thing. OF COURSE I'll check my emails, and half expect to see a reply, and if I don't get one the first few days, sure, it'll be a little spark of pain, but honestly, it's nothing compared to the pain of thinking she thinks something that isn't true. If I did get one, I'd be so tempted to hit delete. There's nothing she can tell me that's new. I know she's moved on and she's happy, I've seen that through Myspace. End of the day, I come out the good guy, which is what I wanted. Result. Of course now I'm back to 0 NC, but hey, that's just a pride thing!
Geishawhelk Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 If you feel good and believe that it was a good idea, then I'm glad for you.... It's the "Aaaaargh!! Broke NC!! I am such a dumbklutz!" merchants that feel the pain.... Which is sad, that they should put themselves through that. I mean, if I gave you a hammer and nails and said: "Ok, put a couple of those through your hand...." You'd think I was a nutjob. But people stab themselves through the heart every time.....
Trialbyfire Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Each person has to do what's best for them. If breaking NC is something you needed to do, then it's a very good thing! Sticking to NC when there's something left unsaid, reliant on the individual, can fester. "Might have beens", fester. Get things off your chest so you can let go sooner.
bubblegum Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 yeah, I guess breaking NC can be a test for yourself, to see where you are in the healing process. Nothing wrong with that, nothing at all.
sinkerswim Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Hey..you gotta do what you gotta do. If it made you feel better.. then great! I dont see anything wrong with it. As long as you are OK with it. At least she knows how you feel.
lastnight Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Totally agree, if you start NC with something left unsaid, it won't the hurt of missing your ex that will drive you mental, it'll be your own questioning thoughts and that in some ways is even worse because it's of your own making.
belladonna Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I know what you mean Riffmeister. I felt better that NYE I broke NC to let him know there weren't any hard feelings on my end and that I'd like to be friends one day. After that I went NC again, and low and behold he texted me today for the first time to ask how I've been. I'm happy that we're on our way to having a friendship..our relationship was good times but probably wouldn't have lasted anyway due to our differences. Now you have everything you wanted to say out there. So now go back to living your life Careful of those avalanches!
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