hoartiosans Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 This is something I've been thinking about since my breakup and am really curious about... How many of you, would end a relationship (lets just say it's not too old) because the person you were with did not fit into a fantasy of being with a person in a specific career (any job,) even if you had a great relationship, and were both in love?
Trialbyfire Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 If this "fantasy" were important enough to you, why would you ever get to the stage of falling in love? Wouldn't you have discussed this on the first date, what someone does for an occupation?
lofi_tokyo Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Trail-by-fire is right... Personally, at this point in my life, there are a few things up and coming in my life, for example, going to the states for grad school. This is something for me that is fixed and will not change for anyone I love. Therefore, I make a point of being upfront about me moving away in the near future. If my S.O. was able to move with me and have a future in the states as well, and I loved them dearly, that would be amazing, but if push came to shove, I would have to tearfully let my S.O. go if they could not come with me. To answer your question more specifically - would I break up with someone if I did not see them fitting into my long-term future? No. But I would let the person know what I have planned, so that my S.O. and I would be on the same level of understanding. I'd still date and love the person however, until the absolute time that I felt we needed to part ways. I wouldnt just drop them like a rock out of the blue if I still loved them.
Author hoartiosans Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 If this "fantasy" were important enough to you, why would you ever get to the stage of falling in love? Wouldn't you have discussed this on the first date, what someone does for an occupation? You would think you would discuss it wouldn't you. But she didn't, and she's done with me now.
Geishawhelk Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 "Theoretical question", huh? My partner used to be regional manager of a major company. he earned a six-figure sum annually, had 40 people working under him and all the trimmings that go with the salary. Now, he 'earns' a little less than £9000 a year in student grants and as he puts it, doesn't have a pot to P**S in. I don't care. It's who he is, not what he has, or what he does, that is primary, to me.
BCCA Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 You would think you would discuss it wouldn't you. But she didn't, and she's done with me now. Are we talking about the same girl you saw for a month? I know you're hurting, but you've all but spent just as long wondering as you did together with her.
Author hoartiosans Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 Are we talking about the same girl you saw for a month? I know you're hurting, but you've all but spent just as long wondering as you did together with her. I know, I'm not really "hurting" anymore. Unless still being mad at her is considered "hurting," not the point anyway, just venting I guess.
EmperorR Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Nope, as long as they have ambition why should I judge? Money comes, Money goes. One day your making a large salary next day your unemployed can't find another job, no way I would base that on who I would date.
Author hoartiosans Posted January 13, 2009 Author Posted January 13, 2009 huh, somehow I managed to find a girl who would judge me on what I want to do. Yeah I think I'm bitter.
IcemanJB Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Money and job title mean next to nothing. As long as she is motivated and has real goals, no matter what they are, it's fine.
againstallodds Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 I think if you are thinking of a long term relationship you need to be both financially stable. It's a big problem with all my relationships. Money is not everything but you need enough of it to make the relationship sustainable.
Author hoartiosans Posted January 14, 2009 Author Posted January 14, 2009 I think if you are thinking of a long term relationship you need to be both financially stable. It's a big problem with all my relationships. Money is not everything but you need enough of it to make the relationship sustainable. Ok, assume it's not about financial security, just about being able to say, "they do, <Fill in with any career>"
durotto Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 my ex gf left me .. because as she said . we were not compatible .. we were not a perfect match .. she did not feel the true love was there .. we were not a perfect couple .. and in her words she wanted true love (whatever that is ) she found someone richer and better looking than me .. and in her words more compatible with her .. I guess people do leave .. I know I would not .. but others do ..
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