Barcode81 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 So, this is a new one for me, and I do not know what an appropriate response is. Here we go. Around a month ago, I began talking to somebody on-line, messages (as in, hundreds) were exchanged, an attraction was acknowledged, and we decided to meet up (btw, we're gay females, but the dynamics are the same, I guess). The date started off really well, she said she really liked me, and eventually made a pass at me, and ended up kissing for an hour. So far, so good. In the middle of this, and I do literally mean whilst kissing me, she said: I keep thinking about my ex, I cannot do this. The same ex she told me she was over. Being rather stunned at her timing, I simply left. She has sent me three messages today, and they say things like she felt really bad, that she did want to kiss me. She went from pretty full-on to freezing cold within the space of about five minutes. I can get the ex-stuff. I don't quite get sending somebody hundreds of messages, admitting to liking them, making a pass out them, and then having a freak-out. It just seems cruel, and I feel lied to. What would you do?
AlektraClementine Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Better a little late than never. Sometimes it takes testing the waters to truly see whether or not someone is really over an ex. Be a friend. Show compassion. See where it goes.
Author Barcode81 Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 Thing is, I thought sending so many personal messages was testing the waters - I don't think I would have gone to the extent of meeting somebody, much less making a move on them, if I had no intentions of it possibly going somewhere. I guess I wanted to meet, have a few drinks, see what happens. There were no grand plans on my side, and I say that, even though I felt a fairly significant connection there - having had the good sense to be non-intense unless things developed. I don't want to be in a situation where I'm waiting for something that may never happen, and I did reply to her message saying that mostly, I was just baffled. But beyond that, I'm a bit clueless about what, if anything, I should do now.
AlektraClementine Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Nothing. She apologized and you expressed how you felt. You could decide to be her friend (although I'm sure that's easier said than done) or you could just move on and accept it as a loss. No person is entitled to be free and clear of failed dates. Just chalk it up to that. Good luck!
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