lost85 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Hey guys, here's the short version of my story. My ex (18) dumped me (21) in Oct because thing were going really badly for the last 4 months of our 1.5 year relationship. He said awful things and did'nt exactly break up with me in the best way. A month later he showed up at my house saying he missed and loved me and we decided to give us another shot. Then the next day we went on a "first date" where all he did was talk abt what he did the month that we were apart rather than what we were going to do to fix our relationship etc.. He did'nt show any real remorse for dumping me. Furthermore we also did "stuff" that I now question as to whether he used me for it. The next day, he did'nt call or text and I cracked the ****s at him. I asked him to meet with me so we could begin to fix our realtionship but he kept blowing me off and that really hurt me and I kept calling him and texting him. This is where he changed his mind about us getting back together. He said he needed a more "loose" relationship. His friend died out of the blue the next week and I made sure I called him everyday to check on him. He told me he liked that I was doing that and then I brought "us" up again and he said he needed to be alone now. I understood that but I did call and text to make sure he was ok. He ignored me some days and indulged me some days. ???? Then I admit I went obsessive and kept calling him and texting him about us getting back together for about 3 weeks. I also employed the help of a close friend to talk to him. He went mental at me and told me to leave him alone. He also told me that he has met a new girl at the friend's funeral and he really likes her and that he is not going to dump her for me. Mind you my friend told me that they are'nt going out. He told me he doesnt love me anymore. I feel like he led me on and only came back on a whim. But i still believe he is THE ONE. I have left him alone now for a month. NO CONTACT. He hasnt bothered to call me or anything like that. I saw his FB last night and there are photos of him and friends and that girl on a roadtrip together. There is also a video where he is apparently drunk and confessing that he loves her. He looks so happy. Have I screwed it forever by calling him and texting him for so long? I feel so upset that he could screw me around and get away with it? Did I mean nothing to him? I know I did all the wrong things by contacting him too much. But is there any way I can fix it now that I don't see or talk to him? He has deleted me from FB and MSN..everything. He has completely forgotten me. IS IT A HOPELESS SITUATION? OPINIONS WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED..
Ty Wanabu Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 You didn't do anything to HELP your situation but then again there was nothing you could've done anyway. Except go NC. When you say you did some "stuff" you think he used you for I'm assuming you mean sex. If that's the case then that's why he contacted you again. For sex. You say he spoke nothing about fixing your relationship which tells me he had no interest in doing that. You gave him what he was interested in. I understand your need to text and call constantly but I'm sure you see now that it did no good. It only drove him away. In order to get someone to come to you, you really need to back-off and let them do just that...come to you. If they don't, they never wanted to and never will. What you should've done is what you should do now. GO NC! If he loves you he WILL come back. It will be up to you to refuse him for sex if he asks. If he's coming back for YOU and the relationship he will talk to you about that and nothing else. Otherwise you are better off with the way things are now. And I hate to be negative but at the same time I don't want to give you false hope. But I think at this point that it is hopeless. Deep elationships usually don't end abruptly. They end slowly, over a long period of time. This is what your story sounds like. After 4 months he probably figured enough is enough, ended it, then after a month missed you(which is quite normal after a 1.5yr relationship)for whatever reason, contacted you, then realized it was a mistake. I've been down this road before and I will tell you that been both suprised and disappointed. It's better to expect the worst and accept that it's over.
Recommended Posts