Konfuzion Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Well I kinda failed myself this morning for back ground you can see my first and last post here Long story short I had set myself up to move out and I had excepted "us" being over and for her sake I was willing to let go and move on, I was talking to other women and was trying to move on with my life. Fast forward to present. So this morning I got home from work and drank a few (too many) beer's on an empty stomach (I know drinking in the morning sounds bad but its night time for me) anyway I was laying in bed and my ex walked in and the wrong head took over and I got up and started walking towards her and she could see something was up so she says "whats going on?" I said "nothing" and I grabbed her hips and started kissing her neck and cheeks and she just stood there and seemed to enjoy it. Then I whispered in her ear "I want to be together" she said "if that was an option we would still be in a relationship" to which I said "just one last time" again "no" and then we got into a heated emotional conversation. She basically started crying and told me "why cant you show me that you are going to change these two areas of your life, then we can be together?" Yadda Yadda Yadda... (I will explain the two areas in a second) To which I proposed that I will go to counseling for my stuff and that we should go to counceling for our stuff, and she agreed to that but told me that she has her reservations but that she knows that if we can get past that stuff that we would be very happy together. So the two areas that she would like to see me change is my temper and my relationship with my children (both of which I would like to change too, for myself). She told me that she feels like she lives with a lion and that she never knows when I am going to turn on her and bite her (I should add that this is metaphorical as my anger isn't aimed at her, but she cant stand to be around that angry energy) and admittedly I am very passive aggressive. The other area she wants to see me change is how I interact with my children at times, I guess I allow being tired or whatever other excuse I have to come between me and my kids and I will brush them off at times or get angry with them and I would love for this aspect of me to change. I hope that we can work threw all of this I know it probably seems crazy if you go back and read my old posts, but this girl has stood by me for everything and I love her so much. She has been unhappy in our relationship for years, but continued to stand by my side and try to work things out with counseling and couples retreats and all kinds of stuff, she finally said enough is enough and left me which opened my eyes and I had a much needed growth period and matured quite a bit. I love her and I cant let go..........
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