Bri754 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 If a girl wont return my calls: a) shes just not interested b) shes nervous c) shes still with her bf d) she lost her phone... yeah right I should point out that she seemed more into me than me into her on our first and only date. She had just broken up/kicked out with her "loser" ex or 3 years 3 weeks earlier whom she lived with (her words). We left on a great note. She seemed to be scanning me for long term compatibility and then wanted to go to my house to spend the night (should have declined...) I had to go out of town for a couple weeks and havent heard from her since, with the exception of some text messages... I have tried to call, and took my gal-friends advice, reluctantly, of being honest. I left a message telling her how I had thought about her and that I would love to just be friends and take it slow. Still no call back... what should I do? (besides the obvious answer)
Aquamarisa Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I would lean towards (e) who cares. If she's not returning your calls, you can't do much. It might not feel very good but it's probably for the best. She just got out of a relationship and is probably not ready for anything anyway. Give it time and maybe you'll meet up again when the timing is right.
Island Girl Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I left a message telling her how I had thought about her and that I would love to just be friends and take it slow. Still no call back... what should I do? (besides the obvious answer) I would hate to get a message like that. It sounds to me like the guy is desperate for me to contact them which is an instant turn off. Write her off and move on. Whatever happened you really weren't involved in the first place - and now that you know what a flake she can be it should be a big red flag for you. Find another girl.
Author Bri754 Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 Your probably right. I was VERY reluctant to leave that message, and only did it because of advice I got from a gal-friend, who said that if she doesn't appreciate genuine honesty, she's not worth it. But yeah, it was probably a dumb idea. However, I must say that on the date I played it very cool... this girl was the one kickstarting things into relationship mode. I guess thats what gets me. If she hadnt had told me how much she liked me and how she wanted to spend the night with me this wouldn't even be an issue. That message was dumb though... your right. I hate this game.
Island Girl Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 only did it because of advice I got from a gal-friend, who said that if she doesn't appreciate genuine honesty, she's not worth it. Your gal-pal I'm guessing may not be very successful in relationships -- ? Because that advice was all wrong. There is honesty and then there is over-sharing and making yourself look weak. Weak is never attractive. Never. But yeah, it was probably a dumb idea. However, I must say that on the date I played it very cool... this girl was the one kickstarting things into relationship mode. In my day - a guy playing it cool would cause me to chase a bit and put a little more out there. But if he took the bait and bought in too quickly I'd back off and, in some cases, run. I guess thats what gets me. If she hadnt had told me how much she liked me and how she wanted to spend the night with me this wouldn't even be an issue. That message was dumb though... your right. I hate this game. In that case you relax, enjoy the evening, and wait to see if she is a chick with problems or if she is actually worth time and effort. Great lesson for next time. And hey - at least you got some action out of it right?
Charles1978 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Yeah bad move with the message. But don't worry too much about it. She was only 3 weeks out from a serious relationship. You were probably setting yourself up for a real pain in the neck even if things were to have gone smoothly. My guess? She's back with the ex. Don't worry about it. Chalk it up as a learning experience and bring on the next one!
Author Bri754 Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 Your gal-pal I'm guessing may not be very successful in relationships -- ? Because that advice was all wrong. There is honesty and then there is over-sharing and making yourself look weak. Weak is never attractive. Never. I really don't think telling someone you enjoyed their company and that you want to be friends is over-sharing... In any case it was definitely a learning experience. Another thing I thought is that the girl has kind of an abusive past and didn't seem like the average "play the game" kind of girl (which is what I like about her). I thought she might appreciate honesty. I actually thought the message was quite passive.
Island Girl Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I really don't think telling someone you enjoyed their company and that you want to be friends is over-sharing... In any case it was definitely a learning experience. Another thing I thought is that the girl has kind of an abusive past and didn't seem like the average "play the game" kind of girl (which is what I like about her). I thought she might appreciate honesty. I actually thought the message was quite passive. That isn't exactly what you said in the previous post. Had it been something like that - well, maybe it would be okay. For me it wouldn't be strong enough - passive definitely. When you first mentioned the message you said you wanted to be friends and take things slow. Well, that means you like her and want to date her but do not want to take the bull by the horns so to speak. Or at least that is how I'd take it. And it would turn me off. Hearing that a man had thought about me, wanted to be friends and take things slow would translate to me that he isn't the rock I am looking for. I also have an abusive past by the way and I played "the game" better than any man I ever met. You just have to remember to look before you leap no matter who she is or what she says. Don't buy in too quickly. It sounds like you aren't a stranger to dating women and relationships so just move on to another.
boxing123 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 If a woman will not call you back, move on.. Sometimes all men say silly or stupid things when in certain situations. If you are very interested, and she seems very interested, and she ignores you, it is not really normal. Not your fault. If she was playing a game, and you turned her off, then it is not worth it. If she was not very into you, then it is not worth it. Just do whatever feels right. Sometimes pursuing works with certain women. Sometimes it is a huge turn off to even act like you like them at all.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 If a girl wont return my calls: a) shes just not interested b) shes nervous c) shes still with her bf d) she lost her phone... yeah right I should point out that she seemed more into me than me into her on our first and only date. She had just broken up/kicked out with her "loser" ex or 3 years 3 weeks earlier whom she lived with (her words). We left on a great note. She seemed to be scanning me for long term compatibility and then wanted to go to my house to spend the night (should have declined...) I had to go out of town for a couple weeks and havent heard from her since, with the exception of some text messages... I have tried to call, and took my gal-friends advice, reluctantly, of being honest. I left a message telling her how I had thought about her and that I would love to just be friends and take it slow. Still no call back... what should I do? (besides the obvious answer) I'm thinking choice e) you were a rebound. She only broke up with her ex of 3 years about 3 weeks earlier. She probably panicked and realized that it was too soon. She might have thought she was okay to date and used you as a rebound. She's immature not even giving you a straight answer so I'd just lose her. Plenty of other fish in the sea.
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